{"file": "audio/vault/93_sober_and_feeling_everything.mp3", "duration_sec": 212.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth with a headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.14, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.14, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 34.64, "text": "Red Line Dark Hour continues tonight, sober."}, {"start": 34.64, "end": 38.84, "text": "I roast me first. I quit drinking and now I feel everything I was drinking about."}, {"start": 38.84, "end": 42.84, "text": "Turns out the bottle wasn't the problem. It was the off switch. Bring it."}, {"start": 42.84, "end": 52.02, "text": "In a world where Zersesia, where one man put down his father's drink for good,"}, {"start": 52.02, "end": 55.02, "text": "he expected peace. He got clarity."}, {"start": 55.02, "end": 58.02, "text": "Which it turns out is just anxiety with the lights on."}, {"start": 58.02, "end": 65.91, "text": "I just see. They gave you a chip at 30 days."}, {"start": 65.91, "end": 70.91, "text": "The vending machine wants more commitment than your last three fiancees combined."}, {"start": 74.18, "end": 80.14, "text": "He brings the doom, the gloom, and a voice from the bottom of a well."}, {"start": 80.14, "end": 82.14, "text": "Please welcome Graves."}, {"start": 82.14, "end": 88.08, "text": "sobriety didn't fix you Jesse."}, {"start": 88.08, "end": 92.08, "text": "It just took away your excuse and left you alone in a room with yourself."}, {"start": 92.08, "end": 100.98, "text": "And let's be honest, that's the worst roommate you've ever had."}, {"start": 100.98, "end": 103.98, "text": "Brutal and accurate, that's the worst part. Marcus."}, {"start": 103.98, "end": 110.11, "text": "You replaced drinking with work Jesse."}, {"start": 110.11, "end": 113.11, "text": "Now you're not an alcoholic. You're a workaholic with a mop."}, {"start": 113.11, "end": 115.11, "text": "Same disease, better resume. Still nobody home for dinner."}, {"start": 121.62, "end": 124.62, "text": "Baby you stayed sober and started a comedy club."}, {"start": 124.62, "end": 127.62, "text": "So now instead of one drink to forget, you got 90 shows to remember."}, {"start": 127.62, "end": 130.62, "text": "That's not recovery, that's a filing system."}, {"start": 134.62, "end": 139.97, "text": "And the closer, he traded the off switch for a microphone, same goal."}, {"start": 139.97, "end": 144.97, "text": "Make the noise stop, different ending. This time, the room laughs with him."}, {"start": 144.97, "end": 149.78, "text": "That's the white color, folks."}, {"start": 149.78, "end": 154.78, "text": "Sober feeling all of it and turning every feeling into a punchline before it can turn into a drink."}, {"start": 154.78, "end": 158.78, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 158.78, "end": 167.42, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 167.42, "end": 175.42, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 175.42, "end": 178.42, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down."}, {"start": 178.42, "end": 184.42, "text": "24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 184.42, "end": 189.42, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he, always."}, {"start": 189.42, "end": 195.42, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.aff and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 195.42, "end": 199.42, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line comedy club open all night."}, {"start": 199.42, "end": 203.42, "text": "Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 203.42, "end": 207.42, "text": "Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth with a headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Red Line Dark Hour continues tonight, sober. I roast me first. I quit drinking and now I feel everything I was drinking about. Turns out the bottle wasn't the problem. It was the off switch. Bring it. In a world where Zersesia, where one man put down his father's drink for good, he expected peace. He got clarity. Which it turns out is just anxiety with the lights on. I just see. They gave you a chip at 30 days. The vending machine wants more commitment than your last three fiancees combined. He brings the doom, the gloom, and a voice from the bottom of a well. Please welcome Graves. sobriety didn't fix you Jesse. It just took away your excuse and left you alone in a room with yourself. And let's be honest, that's the worst roommate you've ever had. Brutal and accurate, that's the worst part. Marcus. You replaced drinking with work Jesse. Now you're not an alcoholic. You're a workaholic with a mop. Same disease, better resume. Still nobody home for dinner. Baby you stayed sober and started a comedy club. So now instead of one drink to forget, you got 90 shows to remember. That's not recovery, that's a filing system. And the closer, he traded the off switch for a microphone, same goal. Make the noise stop, different ending. This time, the room laughs with him. That's the white color, folks. Sober feeling all of it and turning every feeling into a punchline before it can turn into a drink. Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down. 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he, always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.aff and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line comedy club open all night. Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}