{"file": "audio/vault/92_the_dead_line.mp3", "duration_sec": 229.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 11.14, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line comedy club."}, {"start": 11.14, "end": 21.14, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.14, "end": 28.14, "text": "This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 41.44, "text": "Tonight the Red Line goes to the darkest color in the box, black. I roast me first. My dad died and left me his phone number. I still can't delete it. Feels like hanging up twice."}, {"start": 41.44, "end": 45.44, "text": "So roast the man who keeps a dead man on speed dial. Bring it."}, {"start": 45.44, "end": 60.59, "text": "In a world where one man texted a disconnected number, I miss you and watched it go green. Even the phone company knew where his old man ended up."}, {"start": 65.18, "end": 74.09, "text": "He brings the doom, the gloom, and a voice from the bottom of a well. Please welcome Graves."}, {"start": 74.09, "end": 87.86, "text": "Jesse, your dad still marked favorite in your phone and he never once picked up while he was alive. The contact list knows something you don't."}, {"start": 87.86, "end": 96.12, "text": "Two real graves keep going. That's the good kind. I just see."}, {"start": 96.12, "end": 104.12, "text": "You come from a long line of men who drank to forget. You're the first one who decided to remember it out loud into a microphone."}, {"start": 105.12, "end": 115.92, "text": "For strangers. That's either bravery or the cheapest therapy in America."}, {"start": 115.92, "end": 123.92, "text": "Baby, your daddy gave you one inheritance, a habit and a phone number. You return the habit and kept the number. That's the most stubborn refund in history."}, {"start": 123.92, "end": 133.7, "text": "He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos. The roast physician is in. Doc Burn."}, {"start": 133.7, "end": 146.78, "text": "Diagnosis, you didn't break the cycle, you build it. Every dark thing he handed you, you turned into a punchline. The man drank to forget you remember on purpose for a living."}, {"start": 146.78, "end": 161.54, "text": "And the closer, soft for once, he couldn't save his father. So he's down here every night trying to make the rest of us laugh before the dark gets us too."}, {"start": 161.54, "end": 171.51, "text": "That's the black color, folks. I kept his number so I'd never forget where the cycle ends with me laughing instead of drinking."}, {"start": 171.51, "end": 175.51, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 175.51, "end": 192.14, "text": "And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 192.14, "end": 203.14, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep? We're up."}, {"start": 203.14, "end": 214.14, "text": "Going through something so is he always. So come back you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds."}, {"start": 214.14, "end": 224.14, "text": "The Red Line Comedy Club. Open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line comedy club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Tonight the Red Line goes to the darkest color in the box, black. I roast me first. My dad died and left me his phone number. I still can't delete it. Feels like hanging up twice. So roast the man who keeps a dead man on speed dial. Bring it. In a world where one man texted a disconnected number, I miss you and watched it go green. Even the phone company knew where his old man ended up. He brings the doom, the gloom, and a voice from the bottom of a well. Please welcome Graves. Jesse, your dad still marked favorite in your phone and he never once picked up while he was alive. The contact list knows something you don't. Two real graves keep going. That's the good kind. I just see. You come from a long line of men who drank to forget. You're the first one who decided to remember it out loud into a microphone. For strangers. That's either bravery or the cheapest therapy in America. Baby, your daddy gave you one inheritance, a habit and a phone number. You return the habit and kept the number. That's the most stubborn refund in history. He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos. The roast physician is in. Doc Burn. Diagnosis, you didn't break the cycle, you build it. Every dark thing he handed you, you turned into a punchline. The man drank to forget you remember on purpose for a living. And the closer, soft for once, he couldn't save his father. So he's down here every night trying to make the rest of us laugh before the dark gets us too. That's the black color, folks. I kept his number so I'd never forget where the cycle ends with me laughing instead of drinking. Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep? We're up. Going through something so is he always. So come back you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds. The Red Line Comedy Club. Open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}