{"file": "audio/vault/88_auntie_no_filter_headlines.mp3", "duration_sec": 184.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.14, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.14, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 33.64, "text": "Red Line presents a headline set,"}, {"start": 33.64, "end": 36.84, "text": "the woman with zero filter and a body count of feelings."}, {"start": 36.84, "end": 39.04, "text": "Antino filter, I roast me first."}, {"start": 39.04, "end": 41.04, "text": "I'm 50 single three dogs,"}, {"start": 41.04, "end": 42.64, "text": "Antid your worst."}, {"start": 47.92, "end": 49.52, "text": "Baby sit down."}, {"start": 49.52, "end": 53.72, "text": "50 years old and you clean in toilets coming home to three dogs"}, {"start": 53.72, "end": 55.92, "text": "and calling it the single life."}, {"start": 55.92, "end": 57.52, "text": "Honey, that's not a lifestyle."}, {"start": 57.52, "end": 60.12, "text": "That's a wellness check waiting to happen."}, {"start": 60.12, "end": 67.5, "text": "You proposed nine times with ring pops."}, {"start": 67.5, "end": 70.3, "text": "Nine. Maybe the candy store knows your order."}, {"start": 70.3, "end": 72.3, "text": "The jeweler thinks you die."}, {"start": 72.9, "end": 82.68, "text": "Auntie ease up."}, {"start": 82.68, "end": 84.48, "text": "Ease up."}, {"start": 84.48, "end": 87.48, "text": "Child, you asked a robot for therapy."}, {"start": 87.48, "end": 88.88, "text": "And the robot said,"}, {"start": 88.88, "end": 92.28, "text": "have you tried calling somebody who has to love you?"}, {"start": 92.28, "end": 94.48, "text": "And you said, I would."}, {"start": 94.48, "end": 96.68, "text": "But mama's number went green."}, {"start": 96.68, "end": 99.88, "text": "Baby, even the phone company gave up on this family."}, {"start": 99.88, "end": 102.45, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 102.45, "end": 104.45, "text": "And don't get me started on that Tesla."}, {"start": 104.45, "end": 106.45, "text": "You bought a car that drives itself"}, {"start": 106.45, "end": 108.65, "text": "because deep down you wanted one thing in your life"}, {"start": 108.65, "end": 110.45, "text": "that it leave when you asked it to."}, {"start": 110.45, "end": 113.45, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 113.45, "end": 115.65, "text": "Folks,"}, {"start": 115.65, "end": 118.25, "text": "Auntie has no breaks and the man has no defense."}, {"start": 118.25, "end": 124.14, "text": "That's the headline set."}, {"start": 124.14, "end": 125.74, "text": "Antino filter everybody."}, {"start": 125.74, "end": 127.34, "text": "She said what the dogs were thinking."}, {"start": 127.34, "end": 128.94, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds."}, {"start": 128.94, "end": 129.94, "text": "This is red line."}, {"start": 129.94, "end": 130.94, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 130.94, "end": 139.41, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 139.41, "end": 143.61, "text": "But the red line never closes every minute of every hour"}, {"start": 143.61, "end": 147.61, "text": "of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 147.61, "end": 152.01, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours,"}, {"start": 152.01, "end": 153.21, "text": "seven days a week."}, {"start": 153.21, "end": 156.81, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 156.81, "end": 157.81, "text": "Can't sleep."}, {"start": 157.81, "end": 158.81, "text": "We're up."}, {"start": 158.81, "end": 160.21, "text": "Going through something."}, {"start": 160.21, "end": 161.21, "text": "So is he."}, {"start": 161.21, "end": 162.21, "text": "Always."}, {"start": 162.21, "end": 164.61, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 164.61, "end": 168.21, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 168.21, "end": 171.01, "text": "Before the dark winds, the red line comedy club"}, {"start": 171.01, "end": 173.81, "text": "open all night because somewhere out there,"}, {"start": 173.81, "end": 176.21, "text": "it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 176.21, "end": 177.21, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 177.21, "end": 178.61, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 178.61, "end": 179.61, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Red Line presents a headline set, the woman with zero filter and a body count of feelings. Antino filter, I roast me first. I'm 50 single three dogs, Antid your worst. Baby sit down. 50 years old and you clean in toilets coming home to three dogs and calling it the single life. Honey, that's not a lifestyle. That's a wellness check waiting to happen. You proposed nine times with ring pops. Nine. Maybe the candy store knows your order. The jeweler thinks you die. Auntie ease up. Ease up. Child, you asked a robot for therapy. And the robot said, have you tried calling somebody who has to love you? And you said, I would. But mama's number went green. Baby, even the phone company gave up on this family. Oh. And don't get me started on that Tesla. You bought a car that drives itself because deep down you wanted one thing in your life that it leave when you asked it to. Oh. Folks, Auntie has no breaks and the man has no defense. That's the headline set. Antino filter everybody. She said what the dogs were thinking. Laugh before the dark winds. This is red line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep. We're up. Going through something. So is he. Always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the red line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}