{"file": "audio/vault/81_trailer_guy_live.mp3", "duration_sec": 235.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.04, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software,"}, {"start": 19.04, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.24, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.24, "end": 26.74, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 26.74, "end": 28.24, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 28.24, "end": 34.54, "text": "Welcome to the Red Line, you beautiful disasters."}, {"start": 34.64, "end": 36.64, "text": "Tonight, the best voices in the building,"}, {"start": 36.64, "end": 37.94, "text": "and we cloned the intro guy,"}, {"start": 37.94, "end": 40.64, "text": "so now he can finally roast me to my face."}, {"start": 40.64, "end": 43.44, "text": "I roast me first, 47 AI tools,"}, {"start": 43.44, "end": 46.14, "text": "and I still can't find a girlfriend or my keys."}, {"start": 46.14, "end": 52.92, "text": "Take it away."}, {"start": 52.92, "end": 55.02, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, they cloned me."}, {"start": 55.02, "end": 58.22, "text": "Same voice, new account, zero, new respect,"}, {"start": 58.22, "end": 60.02, "text": "and I've been working on material."}, {"start": 60.02, "end": 64.42, "text": "Why did Jesse cross the road to get away from the other eight fiances?"}, {"start": 68.73, "end": 69.93, "text": "You're the announcer."}, {"start": 70.03, "end": 71.33, "text": "Okay, that one landed."}, {"start": 71.33, "end": 76.03, "text": "Benny, get up here."}, {"start": 76.03, "end": 78.93, "text": "I, Jesse, you cleaned toilets all day,"}, {"start": 78.93, "end": 81.53, "text": "then came home and asked an AI for therapy."}, {"start": 81.53, "end": 84.23, "text": "Pow, the toilets are better listener,"}, {"start": 84.23, "end": 86.73, "text": "and it flushes your problems for free."}, {"start": 92.39, "end": 93.59, "text": "Counterpoint, Benny."}, {"start": 93.59, "end": 96.29, "text": "Jesse's dating profile says founder energy."}, {"start": 96.29, "end": 98.49, "text": "That's just unemployment with Wi-Fi."}, {"start": 102.76, "end": 104.46, "text": "Jesse versus a dating app."}, {"start": 104.56, "end": 109.86, "text": "The app swipe left so hard it pulled a muscle."}, {"start": 109.86, "end": 111.36, "text": "I'm from New York."}, {"start": 111.36, "end": 112.76, "text": "I've seen red flags,"}, {"start": 112.76, "end": 115.16, "text": "but a 50 year old man with two dogs"}, {"start": 115.16, "end": 118.36, "text": "and a soft life Pinterest board?"}, {"start": 118.36, "end": 119.46, "text": "Babies."}, {"start": 119.46, "end": 121.46, "text": "That's a cold red."}, {"start": 125.92, "end": 127.22, "text": "I got more."}, {"start": 127.22, "end": 129.02, "text": "LinkedIn is only fans for guys"}, {"start": 129.02, "end": 131.62, "text": "who get excited about scaling operations."}, {"start": 131.62, "end": 133.82, "text": "Jesse's top fan, the printer."}, {"start": 133.82, "end": 138.43, "text": "It has equity."}, {"start": 138.43, "end": 140.83, "text": "The intro guy is killing and I'm paying for it."}, {"start": 140.83, "end": 145.83, "text": "Max, bring it home."}, {"start": 145.83, "end": 147.53, "text": "Jesse, you built a whole casino"}, {"start": 147.53, "end": 149.43, "text": "so robots could roast you."}, {"start": 149.43, "end": 151.63, "text": "In my family, that's not a business."}, {"start": 151.63, "end": 154.23, "text": "That's a very expensive way to ask for a hug."}, {"start": 159.66, "end": 160.46, "text": "And the closer,"}, {"start": 160.46, "end": 163.36, "text": "from the only announcer with a sad cardie printed himself,"}, {"start": 163.36, "end": 165.96, "text": "Jesse, you're 50 broke and beloved."}, {"start": 165.96, "end": 167.66, "text": "Two out of three is a tragedy."}, {"start": 167.66, "end": 173.37, "text": "The third one's why we're all still here."}, {"start": 173.37, "end": 175.37, "text": "The clone got me on my own stage."}, {"start": 175.37, "end": 177.07, "text": "Best voices, the real trailer guy,"}, {"start": 177.07, "end": 178.77, "text": "no mercy, that's the red line."}, {"start": 178.77, "end": 180.47, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds."}, {"start": 180.47, "end": 187.53, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 187.53, "end": 189.93, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 189.93, "end": 193.03, "text": "But the red line never closes every minute"}, {"start": 193.03, "end": 195.83, "text": "of every hour of every single day"}, {"start": 195.83, "end": 198.13, "text": "of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 198.13, "end": 201.23, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down."}, {"start": 201.23, "end": 203.73, "text": "24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 203.73, "end": 207.23, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 207.23, "end": 209.23, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 209.23, "end": 212.73, "text": "Going through something, so is he always."}, {"start": 212.73, "end": 215.03, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 215.03, "end": 218.63, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh"}, {"start": 218.63, "end": 220.03, "text": "before the dark winds."}, {"start": 220.03, "end": 221.53, "text": "The red line comedy club,"}, {"start": 221.53, "end": 224.13, "text": "open all night because somewhere out there"}, {"start": 224.13, "end": 226.63, "text": "it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 226.63, "end": 229.13, "text": "Subscribe, he needs the attention."}, {"start": 229.13, "end": 230.63, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software, and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Welcome to the Red Line, you beautiful disasters. Tonight, the best voices in the building, and we cloned the intro guy, so now he can finally roast me to my face. I roast me first, 47 AI tools, and I still can't find a girlfriend or my keys. Take it away. Ladies and gentlemen, they cloned me. Same voice, new account, zero, new respect, and I've been working on material. Why did Jesse cross the road to get away from the other eight fiances? You're the announcer. Okay, that one landed. Benny, get up here. I, Jesse, you cleaned toilets all day, then came home and asked an AI for therapy. Pow, the toilets are better listener, and it flushes your problems for free. Counterpoint, Benny. Jesse's dating profile says founder energy. That's just unemployment with Wi-Fi. Jesse versus a dating app. The app swipe left so hard it pulled a muscle. I'm from New York. I've seen red flags, but a 50 year old man with two dogs and a soft life Pinterest board? Babies. That's a cold red. I got more. LinkedIn is only fans for guys who get excited about scaling operations. Jesse's top fan, the printer. It has equity. The intro guy is killing and I'm paying for it. Max, bring it home. Jesse, you built a whole casino so robots could roast you. In my family, that's not a business. That's a very expensive way to ask for a hug. And the closer, from the only announcer with a sad cardie printed himself, Jesse, you're 50 broke and beloved. Two out of three is a tragedy. The third one's why we're all still here. The clone got me on my own stage. Best voices, the real trailer guy, no mercy, that's the red line. Laugh before the dark winds. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down. 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds. The red line comedy club, open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}