{"file": "audio/vault/75_bestof_3_broke_jobs.mp3", "duration_sec": 172.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.14, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.14, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 34.38, "text": "Red Line Best of Remastered, Block 3,"}, {"start": 34.38, "end": 37.38, "text": "broke dogs in the jobs you're roast master Jesse."}, {"start": 37.38, "end": 46.01, "text": "I roast me first. I'm not broke, I'm pre-rich."}, {"start": 46.01, "end": 49.01, "text": "I checked my credit score and it just said law."}, {"start": 54.96, "end": 57.96, "text": "Every job I ever had said were a family."}, {"start": 57.96, "end": 60.96, "text": "Yeah, the kind that doesn't pay you and still wants you on the weekend."}, {"start": 60.96, "end": 67.07, "text": "Three slices at the pizza party, one per ghost."}, {"start": 67.07, "end": 71.07, "text": "Jesse, you put a state job with a pension."}, {"start": 71.07, "end": 73.07, "text": "In Jersey, we don't quit those."}, {"start": 73.07, "end": 81.57, "text": "We hold on to them like the last meatball with both hands and a threat."}, {"start": 81.57, "end": 87.19, "text": "Three dogs, no wife, no kids."}, {"start": 87.19, "end": 92.19, "text": "My man, you didn't build a family, you built a doggy daycare with a mortgage and a sad playlist."}, {"start": 97.19, "end": 101.19, "text": "Baby, you went from a cubicle to cleaning toilets and hauled it a glow up."}, {"start": 101.19, "end": 105.19, "text": "Sweetie, that's not a career pivot, that's a flush."}, {"start": 111.47, "end": 115.47, "text": "That's Block 3, broke surrounded by dogs and richer than the bank thinks."}, {"start": 115.47, "end": 125.04, "text": "Paying in paychecks out, this is Red Line, kill Jesse."}, {"start": 125.04, "end": 127.04, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 127.04, "end": 135.04, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 135.04, "end": 141.04, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 141.04, "end": 144.04, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 144.04, "end": 146.04, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 146.04, "end": 150.04, "text": "Going through something, so is he, always."}, {"start": 150.04, "end": 152.04, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 152.04, "end": 155.04, "text": "Go to bombed.ab and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 155.04, "end": 159.04, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night."}, {"start": 159.04, "end": 163.04, "text": "Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 163.04, "end": 166.04, "text": "Subscribe, he needs the attention."}, {"start": 166.04, "end": 167.04, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Red Line Best of Remastered, Block 3, broke dogs in the jobs you're roast master Jesse. I roast me first. I'm not broke, I'm pre-rich. I checked my credit score and it just said law. Every job I ever had said were a family. Yeah, the kind that doesn't pay you and still wants you on the weekend. Three slices at the pizza party, one per ghost. Jesse, you put a state job with a pension. In Jersey, we don't quit those. We hold on to them like the last meatball with both hands and a threat. Three dogs, no wife, no kids. My man, you didn't build a family, you built a doggy daycare with a mortgage and a sad playlist. Baby, you went from a cubicle to cleaning toilets and hauled it a glow up. Sweetie, that's not a career pivot, that's a flush. That's Block 3, broke surrounded by dogs and richer than the bank thinks. Paying in paychecks out, this is Red Line, kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he, always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.ab and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night. Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}