{"file": "audio/vault/74_bestof_2_love_life.mp3", "duration_sec": 164.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.14, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.14, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 26.74, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 26.74, "end": 28.14, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 33.58, "text": "Red Line Best of Remastered,"}, {"start": 33.58, "end": 43.18, "text": "Block 2, The Love Life Massacre, Your Roast Master Jesse."}, {"start": 43.18, "end": 44.58, "text": "I roast me first."}, {"start": 44.58, "end": 46.58, "text": "Nine engagements, zero weddings."}, {"start": 46.58, "end": 47.38, "text": "I didn't date."}, {"start": 47.38, "end": 56.82, "text": "I auditioned women for forever and ghosted at the call back."}, {"start": 56.82, "end": 58.82, "text": "I proposed with ring pops."}, {"start": 58.82, "end": 64.96, "text": "In my defense, the ring pop never asked where I was at 2am."}, {"start": 64.96, "end": 66.56, "text": "Jesse, I'm from New York."}, {"start": 66.56, "end": 69.56, "text": "I've dated some clowns, but nine rings?"}, {"start": 69.56, "end": 70.96, "text": "You didn't have a love life."}, {"start": 70.96, "end": 72.96, "text": "You ran a returned counter."}, {"start": 73.16, "end": 75.16, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 75.16, "end": 80.16, "text": "Hi, nine fiancés and not one wife."}, {"start": 80.16, "end": 81.76, "text": "Pal, that's not bad luck."}, {"start": 81.76, "end": 84.76, "text": "That's a pattern with a face and the face is yours."}, {"start": 84.76, "end": 86.76, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 86.76, "end": 93.14, "text": "Carol, you gave women ring pops?"}, {"start": 93.14, "end": 95.54, "text": "In Italy, that's not a proposal."}, {"start": 95.54, "end": 97.74, "text": "That's a snack with commitment issues."}, {"start": 97.74, "end": 100.74, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 103.43, "end": 104.63, "text": "That's Block 2."}, {"start": 104.63, "end": 106.03, "text": "Nine engagements, one lesson."}, {"start": 106.03, "end": 108.43, "text": "I was the red flag I kept warning them about."}, {"start": 108.43, "end": 116.63, "text": "This is Red Line, kill Jesse."}, {"start": 116.63, "end": 119.03, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 119.03, "end": 123.23, "text": "But the red line never closes every minute of every hour,"}, {"start": 123.23, "end": 127.23, "text": "of every single day, a brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 127.23, "end": 131.43, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours,"}, {"start": 131.43, "end": 132.83, "text": "seven days a week."}, {"start": 132.83, "end": 136.33, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 136.33, "end": 137.33, "text": "Can't sleep."}, {"start": 137.33, "end": 138.33, "text": "We're up."}, {"start": 138.33, "end": 139.63, "text": "Going through something."}, {"start": 139.63, "end": 141.73, "text": "So is he always."}, {"start": 141.73, "end": 144.13, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 144.13, "end": 147.63, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 147.63, "end": 150.53, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 150.53, "end": 153.13, "text": "Open all night because somewhere out there,"}, {"start": 153.13, "end": 155.63, "text": "it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 155.63, "end": 156.63, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 156.63, "end": 158.13, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 158.13, "end": 159.13, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Red Line Best of Remastered, Block 2, The Love Life Massacre, Your Roast Master Jesse. I roast me first. Nine engagements, zero weddings. I didn't date. I auditioned women for forever and ghosted at the call back. I proposed with ring pops. In my defense, the ring pop never asked where I was at 2am. Jesse, I'm from New York. I've dated some clowns, but nine rings? You didn't have a love life. You ran a returned counter. Oh. Hi, nine fiancés and not one wife. Pal, that's not bad luck. That's a pattern with a face and the face is yours. Oh. Carol, you gave women ring pops? In Italy, that's not a proposal. That's a snack with commitment issues. Oh. That's Block 2. Nine engagements, one lesson. I was the red flag I kept warning them about. This is Red Line, kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour, of every single day, a brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep. We're up. Going through something. So is he always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club. Open all night because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}