{"file": "audio/vault/59_darkside_the_truth.mp3", "duration_sec": 198.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 3.74, "text": "Adults only."}, {"start": 3.74, "end": 5.44, "text": "No kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.44, "end": 8.18, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.18, "end": 10.08, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.08, "end": 13.82, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer"}, {"start": 13.82, "end": 16.52, "text": "24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.52, "end": 20.32, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.32, "end": 23.96, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 23.96, "end": 24.96, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 24.96, "end": 27.16, "text": "Submitted for your approval,"}, {"start": 27.16, "end": 32.16, "text": "a man who lost everything and gave the wreckage a color."}, {"start": 32.16, "end": 41.7, "text": "Tonight's tale from the haunted life of one Jesse."}, {"start": 41.7, "end": 43.86, "text": "They say the scariest stories are true,"}, {"start": 43.86, "end": 45.5, "text": "so let me scare you with mine."}, {"start": 45.5, "end": 47.74, "text": "Picture a little boy, eight years old,"}, {"start": 47.74, "end": 50.38, "text": "who learned to read a room before he could read a book."}, {"start": 50.38, "end": 53.98, "text": "His dad came home smelling like a brewery and a broken promise."}, {"start": 53.98, "end": 70.29, "text": "His mom gave the whole world her love and left the boy the leftovers."}, {"start": 70.29, "end": 73.05, "text": "That boy grew up and caught a felony at 19."}, {"start": 73.21, "end": 77.13, "text": "He heard 12 strangers couldn't agree to bury him and he took that as a dare."}, {"start": 77.13, "end": 80.13, "text": "He proposed three times and buried zero weddings."}, {"start": 80.13, "end": 83.21, "text": "He cleaned toilets to survive and drank to forget."}, {"start": 83.21, "end": 86.05, "text": "Until one day, the bottle whispered his father's name"}, {"start": 86.05, "end": 100.08, "text": "and he finally put it down."}, {"start": 100.08, "end": 103.2, "text": "Jesse, that's the darkest origin story I ever heard"}, {"start": 103.2, "end": 111.3, "text": "and I'm a doctor of pain."}, {"start": 111.3, "end": 113.5, "text": "And here's the part that'll really scare you folks."}, {"start": 113.5, "end": 114.58, "text": "He's still here."}, {"start": 114.58, "end": 118.7, "text": "50 years old, no family, three dogs and a haunted house he calls a schedule."}, {"start": 118.7, "end": 121.18, "text": "He gave his pain colors, black for his dad,"}, {"start": 121.18, "end": 123.7, "text": "blue for the nights, green for the broke"}, {"start": 123.7, "end": 126.98, "text": "and then he did the most terrifying thing a broken man can do."}, {"start": 126.98, "end": 129.18, "text": "He turned the lights on, grabbed a microphone"}, {"start": 129.18, "end": 136.69, "text": "and made the whole nightmare laugh."}, {"start": 136.69, "end": 140.85, "text": "And so the haunted man became the host."}, {"start": 140.85, "end": 143.49, "text": "The pain became the punchline"}, {"start": 143.49, "end": 148.89, "text": "and the boy who was never first finally took the stage."}, {"start": 148.89, "end": 151.21, "text": "The moral of tonight's tale,"}, {"start": 151.21, "end": 165.48, "text": "the scariest thing in any house is a man who survived it and learned to laugh."}, {"start": 165.48, "end": 167.92, "text": "This is Red Line, this is Kill Jesse,"}, {"start": 167.92, "end": 176.84, "text": "colors of my pain, life and unafraid. Good night."}, {"start": 176.84, "end": 178.12, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 178.12, "end": 179.36, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 179.36, "end": 183.96, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month."}, {"start": 183.96, "end": 187.12, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 187.12, "end": 189.12, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after"}, {"start": 189.12, "end": 191.96, "text": "because at Red Line, the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 191.96, "end": 194.84, "text": "Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 194.88, "end": 196.56, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 196.56, "end": 198.36, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only. No kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Submitted for your approval, a man who lost everything and gave the wreckage a color. Tonight's tale from the haunted life of one Jesse. They say the scariest stories are true, so let me scare you with mine. Picture a little boy, eight years old, who learned to read a room before he could read a book. His dad came home smelling like a brewery and a broken promise. His mom gave the whole world her love and left the boy the leftovers. That boy grew up and caught a felony at 19. He heard 12 strangers couldn't agree to bury him and he took that as a dare. He proposed three times and buried zero weddings. He cleaned toilets to survive and drank to forget. Until one day, the bottle whispered his father's name and he finally put it down. Jesse, that's the darkest origin story I ever heard and I'm a doctor of pain. And here's the part that'll really scare you folks. He's still here. 50 years old, no family, three dogs and a haunted house he calls a schedule. He gave his pain colors, black for his dad, blue for the nights, green for the broke and then he did the most terrifying thing a broken man can do. He turned the lights on, grabbed a microphone and made the whole nightmare laugh. And so the haunted man became the host. The pain became the punchline and the boy who was never first finally took the stage. The moral of tonight's tale, the scariest thing in any house is a man who survived it and learned to laugh. This is Red Line, this is Kill Jesse, colors of my pain, life and unafraid. Good night. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}