{"file": "audio/vault/424_datinggame_202606272320.mp3", "duration_sec": 596.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.54, "text": "from bomb dot app. It's the red line dating game."}, {"start": 3.54, "end": 5.28, "text": "Cue the horns dim the lights."}, {"start": 5.28, "end": 7.96, "text": "The only show where you pick a date you cannot see"}, {"start": 7.96, "end": 9.96, "text": "and your personality is the punch line."}, {"start": 9.96, "end": 11.52, "text": "Brought to you by the four colors."}, {"start": 11.52, "end": 14.04, "text": "Find your crazy at fourcolorquiz.com."}, {"start": 14.04, "end": 24.38, "text": "Hosting tonight, the legend himself, Jesse and me."}, {"start": 24.38, "end": 26.22, "text": "Welcome you beautiful disasters."}, {"start": 26.22, "end": 27.9, "text": "Here's how it works just like the classic."}, {"start": 27.9, "end": 29.1, "text": "Our picker sits right here."}, {"start": 29.1, "end": 30.98, "text": "Can't see a thing and behind that partition"}, {"start": 30.98, "end": 33.02, "text": "sit three mystery contestants."}, {"start": 33.02, "end": 34.98, "text": "They answer the picker chooses blind."}, {"start": 34.98, "end": 37.42, "text": "And only then do we reveal what color of crazy they just"}, {"start": 37.42, "end": 38.54, "text": "signed up for."}, {"start": 38.54, "end": 41.42, "text": "Reds fire with a code, greens a walk in library."}, {"start": 41.42, "end": 44.34, "text": "Blues been three people since brunch and yellow's sunlight"}, {"start": 44.34, "end": 46.02, "text": "that will not stop hugging."}, {"start": 46.02, "end": 47.86, "text": "Let's play."}, {"start": 47.86, "end": 52.66, "text": "Round one, a lady's choosen."}, {"start": 52.66, "end": 54.94, "text": "Give it up for our picker, Queenstank."}, {"start": 54.94, "end": 57.1, "text": "Open Mike comic, three drink minimum, currently"}, {"start": 57.1, "end": 59.62, "text": "winning, a custody battle against herself."}, {"start": 59.62, "end": 62.54, "text": "Now Queenstank, you cannot see him behind that partition."}, {"start": 62.54, "end": 64.3, "text": "We got three mystery bachelors and you're"}, {"start": 64.3, "end": 66.26, "text": "picking on answers alone."}, {"start": 66.26, "end": 68.78, "text": "Say hi contestants."}, {"start": 68.78, "end": 75.9, "text": "Bachelor number one here and ready to ruin your life respectfully."}, {"start": 75.9, "end": 83.09, "text": "Bachelor number two here and ready to ruin your life respectfully."}, {"start": 83.09, "end": 90.94, "text": "Bachelor number three here and ready to ruin your life respectfully."}, {"start": 90.94, "end": 97.7, "text": "Queenstank question one, same for all three."}, {"start": 97.7, "end": 100.1, "text": "It's three a.m. and I text you up."}, {"start": 100.1, "end": 102.38, "text": "What's your honest reaction?"}, {"start": 102.38, "end": 109.78, "text": "Bachelor number one, I prepared a slideshow on our potential."}, {"start": 109.78, "end": 111.94, "text": "Slide nine is just question marks."}, {"start": 111.94, "end": 119.7, "text": "That's where we grow together."}, {"start": 119.7, "end": 124.91, "text": "Bachelor number two."}, {"start": 124.91, "end": 126.23, "text": "You call it controlling."}, {"start": 126.23, "end": 127.79, "text": "The quiz calls it protector."}, {"start": 127.79, "end": 129.07, "text": "I call it Tuesday."}, {"start": 129.07, "end": 137.62, "text": "Your closet's already reorganized."}, {"start": 137.62, "end": 145.78, "text": "Bachelor number three, my idea of a wild Friday is calling."}, {"start": 145.78, "end": 149.1, "text": "My whole family to say I met you, then calling."}, {"start": 149.1, "end": 157.62, "text": "I'm right back to cry about it together."}, {"start": 157.62, "end": 164.97, "text": "Oh, Queenstank, you sweat and yet, stay strong one more."}, {"start": 164.97, "end": 171.66, "text": "Queenstank question two, same for all three."}, {"start": 171.66, "end": 174.66, "text": "I'm a stray dog you just found shivering in the rain."}, {"start": 174.66, "end": 176.66, "text": "What happens next?"}, {"start": 176.66, "end": 184.06, "text": "Bachelor number one, my love languages silence a spreadsheet"}, {"start": 184.06, "end": 185.94, "text": "and you not touching the thermostat."}, {"start": 185.94, "end": 194.09, "text": "It's 71, it is final."}, {"start": 194.09, "end": 199.25, "text": "Bachelor number two."}, {"start": 199.25, "end": 203.21, "text": "Simple, I already booked it, chose your outfit and informed your mother."}, {"start": 203.21, "end": 210.42, "text": "It's handled."}, {"start": 210.42, "end": 217.22, "text": "Bachelor number three, I'll meet your family."}, {"start": 217.22, "end": 219.98, "text": "Remember all their birthdays, coffee orders,"}, {"start": 219.98, "end": 221.58, "text": "and childhood wounds."}, {"start": 221.58, "end": 230.4, "text": "And by Thursday, they'll prefer me to you."}, {"start": 230.4, "end": 232.84, "text": "OK, Queenstank, based on the answers alone,"}, {"start": 232.84, "end": 234.76, "text": "you never saw a single face."}, {"start": 234.76, "end": 242.01, "text": "Who is it going to be?"}, {"start": 242.01, "end": 242.61, "text": "You know what?"}, {"start": 242.61, "end": 243.65, "text": "My heart says."}, {"start": 243.65, "end": 245.77, "text": "Bachelor number one."}, {"start": 245.77, "end": 248.53, "text": "Bachelor number one, come on around that partition"}, {"start": 248.53, "end": 256.14, "text": "and give Queenstank a kiss on the cheek."}, {"start": 256.14, "end": 258.66, "text": "Queenstank, meet Logan and surprise."}, {"start": 258.66, "end": 260.1, "text": "There are green thinker, your love's"}, {"start": 260.1, "end": 262.58, "text": "going to come with footnotes, a confidence interval,"}, {"start": 262.58, "end": 265.62, "text": "and an 11 p.m. truth you did not ask for."}, {"start": 265.62, "end": 273.27, "text": "Bring a notebook."}, {"start": 273.27, "end": 275.87, "text": "Honestly, best news I've heard all night."}, {"start": 275.87, "end": 284.66, "text": "My therapist's going to be so busy, worth it."}, {"start": 284.66, "end": 287.06, "text": "And you two are headed on an all expenses paid,"}, {"start": 287.06, "end": 291.1, "text": "fully shaper-owned red line date to a romantic hot air balloon ride"}, {"start": 291.1, "end": 297.54, "text": "that's really just Jesse's three dogs in a wagon and a lot of imagination."}, {"start": 297.54, "end": 301.34, "text": "And now we flip it, roll reversal classic dating game style,"}, {"start": 301.34, "end": 308.1, "text": "a fella's in the chair."}, {"start": 308.1, "end": 310.14, "text": "Give it up for our picker, Doc Burn."}, {"start": 310.14, "end": 314.82, "text": "Open Mike Comic lives in a van down by the American river by choice he says."}, {"start": 314.82, "end": 316.66, "text": "Now Doc Burn, you cannot see him."}, {"start": 316.66, "end": 319.02, "text": "Behind that partition we got three mystery bachelor"}, {"start": 319.02, "end": 321.62, "text": "rats and your picking on answers alone."}, {"start": 321.62, "end": 324.14, "text": "Say hi contestants."}, {"start": 324.14, "end": 331.69, "text": "Bachelor, let number one here and ready to ruin your life respectfully."}, {"start": 331.69, "end": 339.24, "text": "Bachelor, let number two here and ready to ruin your life respectfully."}, {"start": 339.24, "end": 342.92, "text": "Bachelor, let number three here and ready to ruin your life respectfully."}, {"start": 343.92, "end": 353.06, "text": "Doc Burn question one, same for all three."}, {"start": 353.06, "end": 357.42, "text": "How do you say I'm sorry without ever actually saying it?"}, {"start": 357.42, "end": 362.82, "text": "Bachelor, let number one."}, {"start": 362.82, "end": 365.06, "text": "I'm sunlight in human form, baby."}, {"start": 365.06, "end": 367.42, "text": "I changed the temperature of this whole room,"}, {"start": 367.42, "end": 376.56, "text": "and now everyone's a little sweaty and in love."}, {"start": 376.56, "end": 381.94, "text": "Bachelor, let number two."}, {"start": 381.94, "end": 383.06, "text": "I don't fall in love."}, {"start": 383.06, "end": 394.42, "text": "I reach it slowly with citations in a 95% confidence interval."}, {"start": 394.42, "end": 399.9, "text": "Bachelor, let number three."}, {"start": 399.9, "end": 404.34, "text": "I already felt your grief and your glow, and I quietly rearranged my entire self around"}, {"start": 404.34, "end": 405.42, "text": "the glow."}, {"start": 405.42, "end": 412.37, "text": "You're welcome."}, {"start": 412.37, "end": 414.65, "text": "Ooh, Doc Burn, you sweatin' yet."}, {"start": 414.65, "end": 419.98, "text": "Stay strong one more."}, {"start": 419.98, "end": 426.69, "text": "Doc Burn question two, same for all three."}, {"start": 426.69, "end": 430.57, "text": "Sell yourself to me in one shameless sentence."}, {"start": 430.57, "end": 435.88, "text": "Bachelor, let number one."}, {"start": 435.88, "end": 439.84, "text": "I don't have walls, I've got a welcome mat and a feeling's fire hose."}, {"start": 439.84, "end": 448.42, "text": "Open wide, sweetie, here it all comes."}, {"start": 448.42, "end": 453.74, "text": "Bachelor, let number two."}, {"start": 453.74, "end": 458.86, "text": "I'd cook you dinner, but I'm still AB testin' the recipe against my anxiety."}, {"start": 458.86, "end": 460.1, "text": "Results inconclusive."}, {"start": 460.1, "end": 467.87, "text": "We fast tonight."}, {"start": 467.87, "end": 473.27, "text": "Bachelor, let number three."}, {"start": 473.27, "end": 476.47, "text": "I've lived several lives in several voices, baby."}, {"start": 476.47, "end": 479.27, "text": "And I've already been three different people just this date."}, {"start": 479.27, "end": 490.02, "text": "Okay, Doc Burn, based on the answers alone, you never saw a single face."}, {"start": 490.02, "end": 497.15, "text": "Who is it gonna be?"}, {"start": 497.15, "end": 501.23, "text": "You know what my heart says, Bachelor, let number three."}, {"start": 501.23, "end": 502.91, "text": "Bachelor, let number three."}, {"start": 502.91, "end": 512.01, "text": "Come on around that partition and give Doc Burn a kiss on the cheek."}, {"start": 512.01, "end": 514.41, "text": "Doc Burn, meet Azure and surprise."}, {"start": 514.41, "end": 515.69, "text": "They're a blue chameleon."}, {"start": 515.69, "end": 519.65, "text": "They'll be your dream person tonight and somebody else's dream tomorrow in a whole different"}, {"start": 519.65, "end": 520.73, "text": "voice."}, {"start": 520.73, "end": 529.04, "text": "Good luck holdin' a moving target."}, {"start": 529.04, "end": 530.92, "text": "Honestly best news I've heard all night."}, {"start": 530.92, "end": 539.92, "text": "My therapist's gonna be so busy, worth it."}, {"start": 539.92, "end": 544.56, "text": "And you two are headed on an all expenses paid, fully shaperoned Red Line Date 2."}, {"start": 544.56, "end": 554.08, "text": "A sunset picnic under the WX Freeway Overpass, bring earplugs, a blanket and zero expectations."}, {"start": 554.08, "end": 557.84, "text": "And me, I hosted the whole thing, matched everybody blind and I'm still going home to"}, {"start": 557.84, "end": 560.16, "text": "three dogs in a haunted stove."}, {"start": 560.16, "end": 562.76, "text": "The host always wins even alone."}, {"start": 562.76, "end": 570.98, "text": "That's the Red Line guarantee."}, {"start": 570.98, "end": 572.86, "text": "Wanna know which contestant you be?"}, {"start": 572.86, "end": 578.1, "text": "Don't guess, take the real quiz at fourcolorquiz.com and find out if you're the protector, the thinker,"}, {"start": 578.1, "end": 580.22, "text": "the chameleon or the hugger."}, {"start": 580.22, "end": 582.22, "text": "It laughs mine."}, {"start": 582.22, "end": 584.06, "text": "That's the Red Line dating game."}, {"start": 584.06, "end": 586.7, "text": "Pick blind, love loud, regret later."}, {"start": 586.7, "end": 591.02, "text": "Take the four color quiz, find your crazy until bomb.app sent you, kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nfrom bomb dot app. It's the red line dating game. Cue the horns dim the lights. The only show where you pick a date you cannot see and your personality is the punch line. Brought to you by the four colors. Find your crazy at fourcolorquiz.com. Hosting tonight, the legend himself, Jesse and me. Welcome you beautiful disasters. Here's how it works just like the classic. Our picker sits right here. Can't see a thing and behind that partition sit three mystery contestants. They answer the picker chooses blind. And only then do we reveal what color of crazy they just signed up for. Reds fire with a code, greens a walk in library. Blues been three people since brunch and yellow's sunlight that will not stop hugging. Let's play. Round one, a lady's choosen. Give it up for our picker, Queenstank. Open Mike comic, three drink minimum, currently winning, a custody battle against herself. Now Queenstank, you cannot see him behind that partition. We got three mystery bachelors and you're picking on answers alone. Say hi contestants. Bachelor number one here and ready to ruin your life respectfully. Bachelor number two here and ready to ruin your life respectfully. Bachelor number three here and ready to ruin your life respectfully. Queenstank question one, same for all three. It's three a.m. and I text you up. What's your honest reaction? Bachelor number one, I prepared a slideshow on our potential. Slide nine is just question marks. That's where we grow together. Bachelor number two. You call it controlling. The quiz calls it protector. I call it Tuesday. Your closet's already reorganized. Bachelor number three, my idea of a wild Friday is calling. My whole family to say I met you, then calling. I'm right back to cry about it together. Oh, Queenstank, you sweat and yet, stay strong one more. Queenstank question two, same for all three. I'm a stray dog you just found shivering in the rain. What happens next? Bachelor number one, my love languages silence a spreadsheet and you not touching the thermostat. It's 71, it is final. Bachelor number two. Simple, I already booked it, chose your outfit and informed your mother. It's handled. Bachelor number three, I'll meet your family. Remember all their birthdays, coffee orders, and childhood wounds. And by Thursday, they'll prefer me to you. OK, Queenstank, based on the answers alone, you never saw a single face. Who is it going to be? You know what? My heart says. Bachelor number one. Bachelor number one, come on around that partition and give Queenstank a kiss on the cheek. Queenstank, meet Logan and surprise. There are green thinker, your love's going to come with footnotes, a confidence interval, and an 11 p.m. truth you did not ask for. Bring a notebook. Honestly, best news I've heard all night. My therapist's going to be so busy, worth it. And you two are headed on an all expenses paid, fully shaper-owned red line date to a romantic hot air balloon ride that's really just Jesse's three dogs in a wagon and a lot of imagination. And now we flip it, roll reversal classic dating game style, a fella's in the chair. Give it up for our picker, Doc Burn. Open Mike Comic lives in a van down by the American river by choice he says. Now Doc Burn, you cannot see him. Behind that partition we got three mystery bachelor rats and your picking on answers alone. Say hi contestants. Bachelor, let number one here and ready to ruin your life respectfully. Bachelor, let number two here and ready to ruin your life respectfully. Bachelor, let number three here and ready to ruin your life respectfully. Doc Burn question one, same for all three. How do you say I'm sorry without ever actually saying it? Bachelor, let number one. I'm sunlight in human form, baby. I changed the temperature of this whole room, and now everyone's a little sweaty and in love. Bachelor, let number two. I don't fall in love. I reach it slowly with citations in a 95% confidence interval. Bachelor, let number three. I already felt your grief and your glow, and I quietly rearranged my entire self around the glow. You're welcome. Ooh, Doc Burn, you sweatin' yet. Stay strong one more. Doc Burn question two, same for all three. Sell yourself to me in one shameless sentence. Bachelor, let number one. I don't have walls, I've got a welcome mat and a feeling's fire hose. Open wide, sweetie, here it all comes. Bachelor, let number two. I'd cook you dinner, but I'm still AB testin' the recipe against my anxiety. Results inconclusive. We fast tonight. Bachelor, let number three. I've lived several lives in several voices, baby. And I've already been three different people just this date. Okay, Doc Burn, based on the answers alone, you never saw a single face. Who is it gonna be? You know what my heart says, Bachelor, let number three. Bachelor, let number three. Come on around that partition and give Doc Burn a kiss on the cheek. Doc Burn, meet Azure and surprise. They're a blue chameleon. They'll be your dream person tonight and somebody else's dream tomorrow in a whole different voice. Good luck holdin' a moving target. Honestly best news I've heard all night. My therapist's gonna be so busy, worth it. And you two are headed on an all expenses paid, fully shaperoned Red Line Date 2. A sunset picnic under the WX Freeway Overpass, bring earplugs, a blanket and zero expectations. And me, I hosted the whole thing, matched everybody blind and I'm still going home to three dogs in a haunted stove. The host always wins even alone. That's the Red Line guarantee. Wanna know which contestant you be? Don't guess, take the real quiz at fourcolorquiz.com and find out if you're the protector, the thinker, the chameleon or the hugger. It laughs mine. That's the Red Line dating game. Pick blind, love loud, regret later. Take the four color quiz, find your crazy until bomb.app sent you, kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}