{"file": "audio/vault/414_roastbattle_rb_benny_diesel.mp3", "duration_sec": 159.6, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.24, "text": "Italian-wise guy versus Jersey freight train."}, {"start": 3.24, "end": 4.68, "text": "Red line roast battle."}, {"start": 4.68, "end": 14.58, "text": "Benny Diesel and one judge who never loses, Jesse."}, {"start": 14.58, "end": 17.18, "text": "Diesel, you wear sunglasses inside,"}, {"start": 17.18, "end": 18.86, "text": "because your future's so dim,"}, {"start": 18.86, "end": 21.26, "text": "you gotta protect the eyes from it."}, {"start": 21.26, "end": 30.68, "text": "Your tough guy act, even your mirror asks for a break."}, {"start": 30.68, "end": 34.48, "text": "Benny, you're so greasy, you're slid into this business,"}, {"start": 34.48, "end": 36.44, "text": "and you've been slipping ever since."}, {"start": 36.44, "end": 38.92, "text": "You call yourself a headliner."}, {"start": 38.92, "end": 49.66, "text": "The only thing under your name is the fire exit."}, {"start": 49.66, "end": 52.66, "text": "You got the comedic time in a drop call."}, {"start": 52.66, "end": 54.26, "text": "People don't heckle you, Diesel."}, {"start": 54.26, "end": 63.05, "text": "They just leave quietly out of respect for the dead."}, {"start": 63.05, "end": 66.01, "text": "Says the man whose biggest laugh came from tripping"}, {"start": 66.01, "end": 74.86, "text": "on the way off stage."}, {"start": 74.86, "end": 77.86, "text": "Two killers, one thrown, and it ain't either of theirs."}, {"start": 77.86, "end": 86.14, "text": "Jesse, bring it home."}, {"start": 86.14, "end": 88.34, "text": "Benny Diesel, gorgeous bloodshed,"}, {"start": 88.34, "end": 89.94, "text": "but here's the formula, boys."}, {"start": 89.94, "end": 92.06, "text": "You fight for the title, I am the title."}, {"start": 92.06, "end": 94.82, "text": "Your two legends arguing over who opens for the janitor"}, {"start": 94.82, "end": 96.34, "text": "that owns the building."}, {"start": 96.34, "end": 104.3, "text": "Winner, as always, me."}, {"start": 104.3, "end": 106.74, "text": "Hold up before we wrap open mic lightning."}, {"start": 106.74, "end": 113.05, "text": "Bench roast me, go, go, go."}, {"start": 113.05, "end": 116.61, "text": "Jesse drove 90 minutes to bid on a haunted stove"}, {"start": 116.61, "end": 122.5, "text": "and lost to the stove's confidence."}, {"start": 122.5, "end": 130.8, "text": "Jesse's group of friends is a five star review he wrote for himself."}, {"start": 130.8, "end": 133.88, "text": "Jesse cleans mansions all day, then goes home"}, {"start": 133.88, "end": 136.8, "text": "to an apartment that files for hazard pay."}, {"start": 136.8, "end": 140.72, "text": "Ha, get out of here."}, {"start": 140.72, "end": 142.4, "text": "You beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 142.4, "end": 150.44, "text": "I walked into every one of those."}, {"start": 150.44, "end": 151.84, "text": "And the boss runs the table."}, {"start": 151.84, "end": 153.4, "text": "Nobody beats Jesse twice."}, {"start": 153.4, "end": 154.4, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nItalian-wise guy versus Jersey freight train. Red line roast battle. Benny Diesel and one judge who never loses, Jesse. Diesel, you wear sunglasses inside, because your future's so dim, you gotta protect the eyes from it. Your tough guy act, even your mirror asks for a break. Benny, you're so greasy, you're slid into this business, and you've been slipping ever since. You call yourself a headliner. The only thing under your name is the fire exit. You got the comedic time in a drop call. People don't heckle you, Diesel. They just leave quietly out of respect for the dead. Says the man whose biggest laugh came from tripping on the way off stage. Two killers, one thrown, and it ain't either of theirs. Jesse, bring it home. Benny Diesel, gorgeous bloodshed, but here's the formula, boys. You fight for the title, I am the title. Your two legends arguing over who opens for the janitor that owns the building. Winner, as always, me. Hold up before we wrap open mic lightning. Bench roast me, go, go, go. Jesse drove 90 minutes to bid on a haunted stove and lost to the stove's confidence. Jesse's group of friends is a five star review he wrote for himself. Jesse cleans mansions all day, then goes home to an apartment that files for hazard pay. Ha, get out of here. You beautiful degenerates. I walked into every one of those. And the boss runs the table. Nobody beats Jesse twice. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}