{"file": "audio/vault/40_job_vs_no_job.mp3", "duration_sec": 163.1, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 3.8, "text": "Adults only."}, {"start": 3.8, "end": 5.54, "text": "No kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.24, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.24, "end": 10.24, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.24, "end": 12.84, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis"}, {"start": 12.84, "end": 16.68, "text": "on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.68, "end": 20.44, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.44, "end": 24.12, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.12, "end": 25.36, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 25.36, "end": 27.4, "text": "Tonight job versus no job."}, {"start": 27.4, "end": 29.96, "text": "And I'm team no job because I've quit more jobs"}, {"start": 29.96, "end": 31.76, "text": "than most people have ever had."}, {"start": 31.76, "end": 33.08, "text": "I don't get fired."}, {"start": 33.08, "end": 35.0, "text": "I just reach a point in every staff meeting"}, {"start": 35.0, "end": 37.68, "text": "where my soul stands up and walks out without me."}, {"start": 37.68, "end": 41.52, "text": "I've raged quit so many times my resume is just a list of doors."}, {"start": 41.52, "end": 47.25, "text": "Working folks fire Vinny."}, {"start": 47.25, "end": 49.77, "text": "Jesse, you quit every job you ever had."}, {"start": 49.77, "end": 50.97, "text": "You don't have a career."}, {"start": 50.97, "end": 60.62, "text": "You got a trail of polite resignations and burnt bridges."}, {"start": 60.62, "end": 64.66, "text": "Vinny, you stayed at the same miserable job 30 years out of fear."}, {"start": 64.66, "end": 65.86, "text": "You didn't build a career."}, {"start": 65.86, "end": 68.46, "text": "You got Stockholm syndrome with a pension."}, {"start": 68.46, "end": 71.1, "text": "At least when I quit, it's because I have standards,"}, {"start": 71.1, "end": 78.7, "text": "even if I can't afford them."}, {"start": 78.7, "end": 80.46, "text": "I got a job, Jesse."}, {"start": 80.46, "end": 82.38, "text": "I hated but I show up."}, {"start": 82.38, "end": 89.17, "text": "You quit a job because the printer looked at you funny."}, {"start": 89.17, "end": 91.09, "text": "Jesse, you've quit so many jobs."}, {"start": 91.09, "end": 100.22, "text": "HR departments got your face on a wall like a casino cheater."}, {"start": 100.22, "end": 102.66, "text": "Honey and NY Day, you stayed at a job till you died"}, {"start": 102.66, "end": 104.06, "text": "and the job killed you."}, {"start": 104.06, "end": 105.14, "text": "That was the deal."}, {"start": 105.14, "end": 111.35, "text": "You kids quit and call it mental health."}, {"start": 111.35, "end": 112.75, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 112.75, "end": 113.55, "text": "Job no job."}, {"start": 113.55, "end": 115.23, "text": "One of you is dying slowly at a desk."}, {"start": 115.23, "end": 118.59, "text": "The others free and flat broke and we all hate Mondays the same."}, {"start": 118.59, "end": 120.43, "text": "Truth is I keep quitting because every job"}, {"start": 120.43, "end": 123.95, "text": "felt like a smaller cage than the one I already escaped at 19."}, {"start": 123.95, "end": 126.91, "text": "So I quit working for people and I built something that's mine."}, {"start": 126.91, "end": 130.71, "text": "And now I can't quit because the boss is me and that guy never lets me leave."}, {"start": 130.71, "end": 133.27, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh, even off the clock."}, {"start": 133.27, "end": 134.59, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 134.59, "end": 141.48, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 141.48, "end": 142.76, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 142.76, "end": 144.0, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 144.0, "end": 148.56, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two hour kill Jesse special four times a month."}, {"start": 148.56, "end": 151.76, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 151.76, "end": 154.96, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line,"}, {"start": 154.96, "end": 156.56, "text": "the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 156.56, "end": 159.44, "text": "Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 159.44, "end": 161.16, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 161.16, "end": 162.96, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only. No kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Tonight job versus no job. And I'm team no job because I've quit more jobs than most people have ever had. I don't get fired. I just reach a point in every staff meeting where my soul stands up and walks out without me. I've raged quit so many times my resume is just a list of doors. Working folks fire Vinny. Jesse, you quit every job you ever had. You don't have a career. You got a trail of polite resignations and burnt bridges. Vinny, you stayed at the same miserable job 30 years out of fear. You didn't build a career. You got Stockholm syndrome with a pension. At least when I quit, it's because I have standards, even if I can't afford them. I got a job, Jesse. I hated but I show up. You quit a job because the printer looked at you funny. Jesse, you've quit so many jobs. HR departments got your face on a wall like a casino cheater. Honey and NY Day, you stayed at a job till you died and the job killed you. That was the deal. You kids quit and call it mental health. And that's the war, folks. Job no job. One of you is dying slowly at a desk. The others free and flat broke and we all hate Mondays the same. Truth is I keep quitting because every job felt like a smaller cage than the one I already escaped at 19. So I quit working for people and I built something that's mine. And now I can't quit because the boss is me and that guy never lets me leave. The hero gets the last laugh, even off the clock. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two hour kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}