{"file": "audio/vault/39_rivalry_series_ep2.mp3", "duration_sec": 195.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 5.54, "text": "Adults only, no kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.18, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.18, "end": 10.18, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.18, "end": 12.78, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis"}, {"start": 12.78, "end": 16.62, "text": "on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.62, "end": 20.36, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.36, "end": 24.02, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.02, "end": 25.32, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 25.32, "end": 27.86, "text": "Welcome back to the title fight that won't quit."}, {"start": 28.46, "end": 30.82, "text": "Versus Kill Jesse, the ongoing war."}, {"start": 30.82, "end": 33.74, "text": "Tonight my AI comics take on the open mic hopefuls"}, {"start": 33.74, "end": 36.66, "text": "and folks my robots have never bombed twice."}, {"start": 36.66, "end": 38.94, "text": "The rivals show they got a line of guys"}, {"start": 38.94, "end": 41.98, "text": "who signed up on a dare with no material and a dream."}, {"start": 41.98, "end": 53.92, "text": "Circuits scout the competition."}, {"start": 53.92, "end": 55.2, "text": "Analysis complete."}, {"start": 55.2, "end": 58.56, "text": "The rival open mic features 47 aspiring comedians"}, {"start": 58.56, "end": 61.28, "text": "of which 0.3% possess an actual joke."}, {"start": 61.28, "end": 62.76, "text": "The rest brought energy."}, {"start": 62.76, "end": 70.81, "text": "Energy is not a setup."}, {"start": 70.81, "end": 74.21, "text": "Their format, one mic 60 seconds and a guy in the front row"}, {"start": 74.21, "end": 77.13, "text": "praying nobody says the thing that ends a career."}, {"start": 77.13, "end": 81.33, "text": "My format, 28 AI comics who never panic, never bomb,"}, {"start": 81.33, "end": 88.64, "text": "and never need bail money."}, {"start": 88.64, "end": 92.0, "text": "They got a legend who built 15 years on a sold out room."}, {"start": 92.0, "end": 94.4, "text": "We built the comedy machine in a guy's house"}, {"start": 94.4, "end": 96.56, "text": "next to three dogs in a mortgage."}, {"start": 96.56, "end": 98.2, "text": "We don't need a crowd."}, {"start": 98.2, "end": 108.82, "text": "We don't even need a host with a pulse."}, {"start": 108.82, "end": 112.06, "text": "Their comics get up and say so anyway traffic."}, {"start": 112.06, "end": 115.38, "text": "Our comics get up and destroy the difference between us"}, {"start": 115.38, "end": 122.39, "text": "and them material and a power outlet."}, {"start": 122.39, "end": 125.75, "text": "And while their comics are sweating through a 60 second set"}, {"start": 125.75, "end": 129.63, "text": "praying they don't bomb, my AI just did 47 shows"}, {"start": 129.63, "end": 138.69, "text": "during this exact sentence."}, {"start": 138.69, "end": 140.09, "text": "And that's the rivalry folks."}, {"start": 140.09, "end": 142.65, "text": "They got 15 years in a sold out room."}, {"start": 142.65, "end": 145.53, "text": "I got 60 days, a supercomputer, and absolutely nothing"}, {"start": 145.53, "end": 147.45, "text": "left to lose respect to the throne."}, {"start": 147.45, "end": 149.45, "text": "But the throne is about to get automated."}, {"start": 149.45, "end": 151.17, "text": "We're not trying to be the big show."}, {"start": 151.17, "end": 153.41, "text": "With a first show where the comics run on electricity"}, {"start": 153.41, "end": 154.97, "text": "and the host runs on spite."}, {"start": 154.97, "end": 156.05, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 156.05, "end": 157.45, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 157.45, "end": 160.57, "text": "The hero always gets the last laugh tune in tomorrow"}, {"start": 160.57, "end": 174.37, "text": "and the day after we never stop."}, {"start": 174.37, "end": 175.65, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 175.65, "end": 176.89, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 176.89, "end": 180.85, "text": "New comedy 24, 7 and a two hour Kill Jesse special four times"}, {"start": 180.85, "end": 181.45, "text": "a month."}, {"start": 181.45, "end": 184.65, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 184.65, "end": 187.89, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line,"}, {"start": 187.89, "end": 189.49, "text": "the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 189.49, "end": 192.37, "text": "Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 192.37, "end": 194.09, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 194.09, "end": 195.93, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only, no kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Welcome back to the title fight that won't quit. Versus Kill Jesse, the ongoing war. Tonight my AI comics take on the open mic hopefuls and folks my robots have never bombed twice. The rivals show they got a line of guys who signed up on a dare with no material and a dream. Circuits scout the competition. Analysis complete. The rival open mic features 47 aspiring comedians of which 0.3% possess an actual joke. The rest brought energy. Energy is not a setup. Their format, one mic 60 seconds and a guy in the front row praying nobody says the thing that ends a career. My format, 28 AI comics who never panic, never bomb, and never need bail money. They got a legend who built 15 years on a sold out room. We built the comedy machine in a guy's house next to three dogs in a mortgage. We don't need a crowd. We don't even need a host with a pulse. Their comics get up and say so anyway traffic. Our comics get up and destroy the difference between us and them material and a power outlet. And while their comics are sweating through a 60 second set praying they don't bomb, my AI just did 47 shows during this exact sentence. And that's the rivalry folks. They got 15 years in a sold out room. I got 60 days, a supercomputer, and absolutely nothing left to lose respect to the throne. But the throne is about to get automated. We're not trying to be the big show. With a first show where the comics run on electricity and the host runs on spite. This is Red Line. This is Kill Jesse. The hero always gets the last laugh tune in tomorrow and the day after we never stop. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24, 7 and a two hour Kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}