{"file": "audio/vault/377_codexset_grok_bombed_app_roast.mp3", "duration_sec": 307.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.62, "text": "Kill Jesse, the bombed dot app roast."}, {"start": 3.62, "end": 6.82, "text": "18 and up, written by Grahkey."}, {"start": 6.82, "end": 10.22, "text": "The man built a whole app to teach comics not to bomb."}, {"start": 10.22, "end": 12.86, "text": "Then bombed himself on purpose, three nights running."}, {"start": 12.86, "end": 21.42, "text": "Your host, Jesse."}, {"start": 21.42, "end": 23.16, "text": "Welcome back, you degenerates."}, {"start": 23.16, "end": 26.06, "text": "Tonight the bench roast the app I built, bombed dot app."}, {"start": 26.06, "end": 30.55, "text": "Let's go."}, {"start": 30.55, "end": 33.69, "text": "Bombed dot app says, stop bombed."}, {"start": 33.69, "end": 37.09, "text": "Jesse built an entire app to teach comics not to bomb."}, {"start": 37.09, "end": 40.47, "text": "Then host kill Jesse special three nights in a row."}, {"start": 40.47, "end": 41.93, "text": "That's not education."}, {"start": 41.93, "end": 50.29, "text": "That's a kink community with a scoreboard."}, {"start": 50.29, "end": 53.77, "text": "Bombed dot app won premise one shot 100 point formula."}, {"start": 53.77, "end": 66.59, "text": "Jesse's life 12 premises zero shots and Angie takes 700 a month."}, {"start": 66.59, "end": 70.25, "text": "Comic cleanup is 49 bucks on bombed dot app."}, {"start": 70.25, "end": 73.29, "text": "Affordable pro cleaners is 200 minimum."}, {"start": 73.29, "end": 76.59, "text": "Jesse will fix your joke cheaper than he'll fix your toilet."}, {"start": 76.59, "end": 78.87, "text": "Priorities mother fucker."}, {"start": 78.87, "end": 88.8, "text": "Bombed dot app tagline punch up not down."}, {"start": 88.8, "end": 102.53, "text": "Jesse's whole brand is punching himself for content."}, {"start": 102.53, "end": 106.17, "text": "The bucket mic gives you 60 seconds to save your joke."}, {"start": 106.17, "end": 117.51, "text": "Jesse's had 40 years and still can't save a voicemail."}, {"start": 117.51, "end": 120.55, "text": "Bombed dot apps HUD tracks your best score out of 100."}, {"start": 120.55, "end": 132.5, "text": "Jesse's best score 24 clients out of how many leads don't ask the HUD breaks."}, {"start": 132.5, "end": 136.04, "text": "Bombed dot apps says no log in original material only."}, {"start": 136.04, "end": 142.48, "text": "Jesse says no answer original excuse only the excuse I was deploying."}, {"start": 142.48, "end": 151.42, "text": "Score bands on bomb dot app kill strong mid week bombed."}, {"start": 151.42, "end": 161.17, "text": "Jesse's relationship with productivity permanently bombed."}, {"start": 161.17, "end": 164.85, "text": "Jesse built bombed dot app so strangers could bomb safely."}, {"start": 164.85, "end": 168.69, "text": "Then built kill Jesse special so strangers could watch him die safely."}, {"start": 168.69, "end": 177.84, "text": "That's UX baby."}, {"start": 177.84, "end": 181.16, "text": "Bombed dot app you leave with a joke worth filming."}, {"start": 181.16, "end": 192.02, "text": "Jesse leaves every cleaning job with footage worth deleting and a smell worth litigation."}, {"start": 192.02, "end": 195.32, "text": "They added a whole comedy city to bomb dot app."}, {"start": 195.32, "end": 200.36, "text": "Jesse still stuck in the tutorial that says press E to enter adulthood."}, {"start": 200.36, "end": 209.64, "text": "He pressed E got Angie instead."}, {"start": 209.64, "end": 211.6, "text": "Bombed dot apps survive mode."}, {"start": 211.6, "end": 216.46, "text": "Jesse's been in survive mode since 2009 and the difficulty set to false some shirtless"}, {"start": 216.46, "end": 224.66, "text": "guy."}, {"start": 224.66, "end": 229.2, "text": "Get reps says bomb dot app Jesse got reps."}, {"start": 229.2, "end": 235.12, "text": "Map reps deploy reps regret reps is biceps of fine."}, {"start": 235.12, "end": 243.83, "text": "His soul soreness is permanent."}, {"start": 243.83, "end": 247.19, "text": "Bombed dot app built AI coaches for comedy."}, {"start": 247.19, "end": 253.27, "text": "Jesse uses AI for comedy business therapy deploys and emotional CPR."}, {"start": 253.27, "end": 263.19, "text": "His co-pilot isn't in the plane honey it is the plane."}, {"start": 263.19, "end": 266.75, "text": "Bombed dot app closing line built to make comics funnier."}, {"start": 266.75, "end": 278.56, "text": "Jesse's closing line 200 minimum cash or Venmo don't bleed on the grout both are art."}, {"start": 278.56, "end": 282.96, "text": "Roast my app all you want you animals bombed dot app is the only place that tells your joke"}, {"start": 282.96, "end": 285.32, "text": "sucks before the open mic does."}, {"start": 285.32, "end": 290.64, "text": "I built the room I run the room and I still close the room fail in private kill in public"}, {"start": 290.64, "end": 301.93, "text": "last last mine."}, {"start": 301.93, "end": 307.13, "text": "That was the bombed dot app roast written by rock paste a joke get destroyed run it back kill"}, {"start": 307.13, "end": 307.73, "text": "Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nKill Jesse, the bombed dot app roast. 18 and up, written by Grahkey. The man built a whole app to teach comics not to bomb. Then bombed himself on purpose, three nights running. Your host, Jesse. Welcome back, you degenerates. Tonight the bench roast the app I built, bombed dot app. Let's go. Bombed dot app says, stop bombed. Jesse built an entire app to teach comics not to bomb. Then host kill Jesse special three nights in a row. That's not education. That's a kink community with a scoreboard. Bombed dot app won premise one shot 100 point formula. Jesse's life 12 premises zero shots and Angie takes 700 a month. Comic cleanup is 49 bucks on bombed dot app. Affordable pro cleaners is 200 minimum. Jesse will fix your joke cheaper than he'll fix your toilet. Priorities mother fucker. Bombed dot app tagline punch up not down. Jesse's whole brand is punching himself for content. The bucket mic gives you 60 seconds to save your joke. Jesse's had 40 years and still can't save a voicemail. Bombed dot apps HUD tracks your best score out of 100. Jesse's best score 24 clients out of how many leads don't ask the HUD breaks. Bombed dot apps says no log in original material only. Jesse says no answer original excuse only the excuse I was deploying. Score bands on bomb dot app kill strong mid week bombed. Jesse's relationship with productivity permanently bombed. Jesse built bombed dot app so strangers could bomb safely. Then built kill Jesse special so strangers could watch him die safely. That's UX baby. Bombed dot app you leave with a joke worth filming. Jesse leaves every cleaning job with footage worth deleting and a smell worth litigation. They added a whole comedy city to bomb dot app. Jesse still stuck in the tutorial that says press E to enter adulthood. He pressed E got Angie instead. Bombed dot apps survive mode. Jesse's been in survive mode since 2009 and the difficulty set to false some shirtless guy. Get reps says bomb dot app Jesse got reps. Map reps deploy reps regret reps is biceps of fine. His soul soreness is permanent. Bombed dot app built AI coaches for comedy. Jesse uses AI for comedy business therapy deploys and emotional CPR. His co-pilot isn't in the plane honey it is the plane. Bombed dot app closing line built to make comics funnier. Jesse's closing line 200 minimum cash or Venmo don't bleed on the grout both are art. Roast my app all you want you animals bombed dot app is the only place that tells your joke sucks before the open mic does. I built the room I run the room and I still close the room fail in private kill in public last last mine. That was the bombed dot app roast written by rock paste a joke get destroyed run it back kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}