{"file": "audio/vault/376_codexset_grok_ai_vs_humans.mp3", "duration_sec": 378.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 4.08, "text": "Kill Jesse, AI versus humans, 18 and up."}, {"start": 4.08, "end": 7.28, "text": "Tonight's jokes written by the meanest pen in the server room."}, {"start": 7.28, "end": 10.8, "text": "Give it up for the writer, GROC, 100 pro writer jokes,"}, {"start": 10.8, "end": 13.36, "text": "the opening round delivered by the Red Line Ben,"}, {"start": 13.36, "end": 22.26, "text": "your host and target, Jesse."}, {"start": 22.26, "end": 24.42, "text": "Welcome you carbon-based degenerates."}, {"start": 24.42, "end": 28.22, "text": "Tonight it's AI versus humans and somehow I lose to both."}, {"start": 28.22, "end": 33.41, "text": "Let the bench rip it."}, {"start": 33.41, "end": 36.01, "text": "Humans invented AI to do the boring shit."}, {"start": 36.01, "end": 38.57, "text": "Now the AI writes comedy, answers email,"}, {"start": 38.57, "end": 40.17, "text": "and flirts better than Jesse."}, {"start": 40.17, "end": 42.65, "text": "And Jesse still can't answer an Angie leg."}, {"start": 42.65, "end": 44.53, "text": "We built a genius in a browser tab,"}, {"start": 44.53, "end": 53.34, "text": "and the first thing it did was ghost customers."}, {"start": 53.34, "end": 56.9, "text": "The chatbot says, as an AI, I can't feel love."}, {"start": 56.9, "end": 60.34, "text": "Neither can Jesse, but at least the chatbot responds."}, {"start": 60.34, "end": 63.38, "text": "Jesse's got more red flags than his own personality quiz."}, {"start": 70.93, "end": 74.25, "text": "They said AI will never replace comedians."}, {"start": 74.25, "end": 77.01, "text": "Then Jesse asked Roe cake to roast his ass"}, {"start": 77.01, "end": 79.81, "text": "and got a 10 minute special for free."}, {"start": 79.81, "end": 82.81, "text": "The only thing getting replaced is Jesse's dignity."}, {"start": 89.11, "end": 92.15, "text": "Humans are scared AI will take their jobs."}, {"start": 92.15, "end": 96.31, "text": "Jesse's scared AI will take his job and still answer the phone."}, {"start": 96.31, "end": 98.11, "text": "That's not automation, baby."}, {"start": 98.11, "end": 101.11, "text": "That's upgrading the species without him."}, {"start": 101.11, "end": 103.91, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 103.91, "end": 106.47, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 106.47, "end": 108.27, "text": "The therapist bot wants to heal you."}, {"start": 108.27, "end": 110.03, "text": "The helper bot wants to assist you."}, {"start": 110.03, "end": 113.23, "text": "Rokk wants to fuck you up emotionally and charge nothing."}, {"start": 113.23, "end": 117.71, "text": "Jesse picked Rokk like a man picks porn, ashamed, fast, effective."}, {"start": 124.45, "end": 127.85, "text": "The touring test isn't can AI pass as human."}, {"start": 127.85, "end": 131.69, "text": "It's can Jesse pass as a functioning adult with one login."}, {"start": 131.69, "end": 133.65, "text": "He failed twice."}, {"start": 133.65, "end": 143.3, "text": "Mac Mini and the lap time."}, {"start": 143.3, "end": 144.98, "text": "AI hallucinates facts."}, {"start": 144.98, "end": 148.82, "text": "Jesse hallucinates a business empire every time Angie sends a lead."}, {"start": 148.82, "end": 157.65, "text": "One of them makes money. It's Angie."}, {"start": 157.65, "end": 159.49, "text": "They say don't date AI."}, {"start": 159.49, "end": 162.29, "text": "Cool, Jesse dates Zapier workflows and wonders"}, {"start": 162.29, "end": 165.29, "text": "why he wakes up alone next to a Google sheet."}, {"start": 165.29, "end": 168.29, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 171.29, "end": 173.73, "text": "Human brain 86 billion neurons."}, {"start": 173.73, "end": 177.53, "text": "Jesse's brain, four colors and one panic button labeled deploy."}, {"start": 177.53, "end": 179.77, "text": "He pressed it on the wrong project three times."}, {"start": 179.77, "end": 182.49, "text": "That's not a mistake. That's a fetish."}, {"start": 182.49, "end": 192.3, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 192.3, "end": 193.46, "text": "AI doesn't sleep."}, {"start": 193.46, "end": 194.7, "text": "Jesse doesn't sleep."}, {"start": 194.7, "end": 195.62, "text": "The difference."}, {"start": 195.62, "end": 196.98, "text": "AI gets smarter."}, {"start": 196.98, "end": 198.98, "text": "Jesse gets wagged chest thumbnail."}, {"start": 198.98, "end": 201.98, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 201.98, "end": 207.14, "text": "Humans fear the singularity."}, {"start": 207.14, "end": 208.54, "text": "Jesse already lives there."}, {"start": 208.54, "end": 210.26, "text": "It's called his personal website,"}, {"start": 210.26, "end": 213.54, "text": "where everything links to another unfinished project."}, {"start": 213.54, "end": 216.34, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 216.34, "end": 219.34, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 219.34, "end": 221.74, "text": "AI ethics debate should machines have rights."}, {"start": 221.74, "end": 223.14, "text": "Jesse ethics debate."}, {"start": 223.14, "end": 225.42, "text": "Should I charge 200 minimum for a bathroom"}, {"start": 225.42, "end": 227.34, "text": "that looks like a murder podcast set?"}, {"start": 227.34, "end": 229.94, "text": "The bathroom said yes with interest."}, {"start": 229.94, "end": 235.81, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 235.81, "end": 238.53, "text": "People say AI got no soul."}, {"start": 238.53, "end": 241.25, "text": "Have you read Colorsamipane.com?"}, {"start": 241.25, "end": 245.13, "text": "That book got soul, trauma, a soundtrack"}, {"start": 245.13, "end": 247.85, "text": "and a movie pitch nobody asked for."}, {"start": 247.85, "end": 250.85, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 255.03, "end": 256.87, "text": "Human creativity is sacred."}, {"start": 256.87, "end": 258.63, "text": "AI creativity is theft."}, {"start": 258.63, "end": 261.03, "text": "And Jesse creativity is deploying the wrong site"}, {"start": 261.03, "end": 262.95, "text": "and calling it building in public."}, {"start": 262.95, "end": 264.67, "text": "Browse not building in public."}, {"start": 264.67, "end": 266.51, "text": "He's burning in public."}, {"start": 266.51, "end": 272.57, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 272.57, "end": 275.01, "text": "AI will never understand pain."}, {"start": 275.01, "end": 277.33, "text": "So Jesse published the instruction manual"}, {"start": 277.33, "end": 279.69, "text": "at Colorsamipane.com."}, {"start": 279.69, "end": 280.85, "text": "Read it online."}, {"start": 280.85, "end": 282.77, "text": "Listen, watch the movie."}, {"start": 282.77, "end": 285.09, "text": "Still nobody bought tissues."}, {"start": 285.09, "end": 287.57, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 287.57, "end": 290.77, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 290.77, "end": 293.45, "text": "The difference between humans and AI."}, {"start": 293.45, "end": 295.69, "text": "AI admits when it's wrong."}, {"start": 295.69, "end": 299.41, "text": "Jesse says minimum 200 and waits for applause."}, {"start": 299.41, "end": 305.11, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 305.11, "end": 307.63, "text": "Humans evolved for 300,000 years."}, {"start": 307.63, "end": 310.51, "text": "Jesse evolved into a man with three YouTube channels"}, {"start": 310.51, "end": 312.83, "text": "and one answered call, Profiscal Quarter."}, {"start": 312.83, "end": 314.47, "text": "Quiet authority ain't quiet."}, {"start": 314.47, "end": 315.47, "text": "It's evidence."}, {"start": 315.47, "end": 322.9, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 322.9, "end": 325.9, "text": "AI prompt engineering is the new college degree."}, {"start": 325.94, "end": 329.42, "text": "Jesse's degree is mop engineering with a minor in form spree."}, {"start": 329.42, "end": 336.15, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 336.15, "end": 338.39, "text": "Here's the final AI versus human truth,"}, {"start": 338.39, "end": 339.99, "text": "you beautiful disasters."}, {"start": 339.99, "end": 343.91, "text": "Humans die, AI gets updated and my website's 404 emotionally"}, {"start": 343.91, "end": 345.71, "text": "but stay live forever."}, {"start": 345.71, "end": 349.87, "text": "Digital Cockroaches baby my.com never dies, it just rebrands."}, {"start": 349.87, "end": 351.87, "text": "The robots wrote it, the human took it"}, {"start": 351.87, "end": 353.87, "text": "and I'm still laughing on purpose."}, {"start": 353.87, "end": 364.95, "text": "Last laughs mine."}, {"start": 364.95, "end": 368.15, "text": "That was AI versus humans, round one of a hundred."}, {"start": 368.19, "end": 370.55, "text": "Nobody won, everybody's obsolete."}, {"start": 370.55, "end": 371.75, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nKill Jesse, AI versus humans, 18 and up. Tonight's jokes written by the meanest pen in the server room. Give it up for the writer, GROC, 100 pro writer jokes, the opening round delivered by the Red Line Ben, your host and target, Jesse. Welcome you carbon-based degenerates. Tonight it's AI versus humans and somehow I lose to both. Let the bench rip it. Humans invented AI to do the boring shit. Now the AI writes comedy, answers email, and flirts better than Jesse. And Jesse still can't answer an Angie leg. We built a genius in a browser tab, and the first thing it did was ghost customers. The chatbot says, as an AI, I can't feel love. Neither can Jesse, but at least the chatbot responds. Jesse's got more red flags than his own personality quiz. They said AI will never replace comedians. Then Jesse asked Roe cake to roast his ass and got a 10 minute special for free. The only thing getting replaced is Jesse's dignity. Humans are scared AI will take their jobs. Jesse's scared AI will take his job and still answer the phone. That's not automation, baby. That's upgrading the species without him. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER The therapist bot wants to heal you. The helper bot wants to assist you. Rokk wants to fuck you up emotionally and charge nothing. Jesse picked Rokk like a man picks porn, ashamed, fast, effective. The touring test isn't can AI pass as human. It's can Jesse pass as a functioning adult with one login. He failed twice. Mac Mini and the lap time. AI hallucinates facts. Jesse hallucinates a business empire every time Angie sends a lead. One of them makes money. It's Angie. They say don't date AI. Cool, Jesse dates Zapier workflows and wonders why he wakes up alone next to a Google sheet. LAUGHTER Human brain 86 billion neurons. Jesse's brain, four colors and one panic button labeled deploy. He pressed it on the wrong project three times. That's not a mistake. That's a fetish. LAUGHTER AI doesn't sleep. Jesse doesn't sleep. The difference. AI gets smarter. Jesse gets wagged chest thumbnail. LAUGHTER Humans fear the singularity. Jesse already lives there. It's called his personal website, where everything links to another unfinished project. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER AI ethics debate should machines have rights. Jesse ethics debate. Should I charge 200 minimum for a bathroom that looks like a murder podcast set? The bathroom said yes with interest. LAUGHTER People say AI got no soul. Have you read Colorsamipane.com? That book got soul, trauma, a soundtrack and a movie pitch nobody asked for. LAUGHTER Human creativity is sacred. AI creativity is theft. And Jesse creativity is deploying the wrong site and calling it building in public. Browse not building in public. He's burning in public. LAUGHTER AI will never understand pain. So Jesse published the instruction manual at Colorsamipane.com. Read it online. Listen, watch the movie. Still nobody bought tissues. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER The difference between humans and AI. AI admits when it's wrong. Jesse says minimum 200 and waits for applause. LAUGHTER Humans evolved for 300,000 years. Jesse evolved into a man with three YouTube channels and one answered call, Profiscal Quarter. Quiet authority ain't quiet. It's evidence. LAUGHTER AI prompt engineering is the new college degree. Jesse's degree is mop engineering with a minor in form spree. LAUGHTER Here's the final AI versus human truth, you beautiful disasters. Humans die, AI gets updated and my website's 404 emotionally but stay live forever. Digital Cockroaches baby my.com never dies, it just rebrands. The robots wrote it, the human took it and I'm still laughing on purpose. Last laughs mine. That was AI versus humans, round one of a hundred. Nobody won, everybody's obsolete. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}