{"file": "audio/vault/357_confessions_cf_2.mp3", "duration_sec": 153.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.88, "text": "It's two in the morning in the soul."}, {"start": 1.88, "end": 4.84, "text": "The comics are tired, honest, and dangerous."}, {"start": 4.84, "end": 10.58, "text": "This is Red Line Confessions."}, {"start": 10.58, "end": 12.38, "text": "I confess as a doctor of roasting."}, {"start": 12.38, "end": 14.42, "text": "I once diagnosed a heckler so hard he"}, {"start": 14.42, "end": 16.94, "text": "apologized to his own mother by text."}, {"start": 16.94, "end": 18.82, "text": "Mid show, I have the screenshot."}, {"start": 18.82, "end": 27.04, "text": "I look at it when I'm sad."}, {"start": 27.04, "end": 30.4, "text": "I confess I keep a list of everyone who underestimated me"}, {"start": 30.4, "end": 32.88, "text": "and I named a lipstick after each one."}, {"start": 32.88, "end": 34.8, "text": "I'm wearing Greg right now."}, {"start": 34.8, "end": 36.88, "text": "Greg looks good on me."}, {"start": 44.05, "end": 46.05, "text": "I confess I matched with someone,"}, {"start": 46.05, "end": 48.21, "text": "planned the whole wedding in my head,"}, {"start": 48.21, "end": 52.05, "text": "picked the dog's name, and then never replied to, hey,"}, {"start": 52.05, "end": 54.61, "text": "we had a beautiful imaginary life."}, {"start": 54.61, "end": 62.1, "text": "She'll never know."}, {"start": 62.1, "end": 64.34, "text": "I confess that as an academic of insults,"}, {"start": 64.34, "end": 67.38, "text": "I grade hecklers on a curve, and they still fail."}, {"start": 67.38, "end": 70.58, "text": "The curve is just me being generous before I end them."}, {"start": 78.04, "end": 79.52, "text": "All right, I confess."}, {"start": 79.52, "end": 82.0, "text": "I built an entire comedy club run by robots"}, {"start": 82.0, "end": 84.72, "text": "just to avoid one phone call to a human."}, {"start": 84.88, "end": 87.36, "text": "And you know what, the robots are killing it."}, {"start": 87.36, "end": 90.56, "text": "The phone never rings and I have never been more at peace."}, {"start": 90.56, "end": 99.16, "text": "Best decision of my broke little life."}, {"start": 99.16, "end": 101.64, "text": "Hold up before we wrap open mic lightning."}, {"start": 101.64, "end": 107.94, "text": "Bench roast me go go geo."}, {"start": 107.94, "end": 110.1, "text": "Jesse's idea of self care is arguing"}, {"start": 110.1, "end": 115.62, "text": "with the self checkout and losing."}, {"start": 115.62, "end": 118.06, "text": "Jesse's group of friends is a five star review"}, {"start": 118.06, "end": 119.46, "text": "he wrote for himself."}, {"start": 123.38, "end": 125.62, "text": "Jesse's so single his smoke detector,"}, {"start": 125.62, "end": 128.26, "text": "chirps just to hear another voice in the house."}, {"start": 129.98, "end": 132.74, "text": "Ha, get out of here."}, {"start": 132.74, "end": 134.38, "text": "You beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 134.38, "end": 136.22, "text": "I walked into every one of those."}, {"start": 142.44, "end": 145.28, "text": "Confession over since forgiven jokes retained."}, {"start": 145.28, "end": 146.28, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIt's two in the morning in the soul. The comics are tired, honest, and dangerous. This is Red Line Confessions. I confess as a doctor of roasting. I once diagnosed a heckler so hard he apologized to his own mother by text. Mid show, I have the screenshot. I look at it when I'm sad. I confess I keep a list of everyone who underestimated me and I named a lipstick after each one. I'm wearing Greg right now. Greg looks good on me. I confess I matched with someone, planned the whole wedding in my head, picked the dog's name, and then never replied to, hey, we had a beautiful imaginary life. She'll never know. I confess that as an academic of insults, I grade hecklers on a curve, and they still fail. The curve is just me being generous before I end them. All right, I confess. I built an entire comedy club run by robots just to avoid one phone call to a human. And you know what, the robots are killing it. The phone never rings and I have never been more at peace. Best decision of my broke little life. Hold up before we wrap open mic lightning. Bench roast me go go geo. Jesse's idea of self care is arguing with the self checkout and losing. Jesse's group of friends is a five star review he wrote for himself. Jesse's so single his smoke detector, chirps just to hear another voice in the house. Ha, get out of here. You beautiful degenerates. I walked into every one of those. Confession over since forgiven jokes retained. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}