{"file": "audio/vault/324_codexset_redline_commercials.mp3", "duration_sec": 184.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.72, "text": "We interrupt the filth for a word from our sobbing sponsor, himself."}, {"start": 3.72, "end": 9.0, "text": "These are the official red line commercials, roasted and promoted because the man's got to eat."}, {"start": 9.0, "end": 17.84, "text": "First up, bombed.app."}, {"start": 17.84, "end": 18.84, "text": "Paste your joke."}, {"start": 18.84, "end": 20.84, "text": "Here it performed in an original voice."}, {"start": 20.84, "end": 22.24, "text": "Hear the crowd react."}, {"start": 22.24, "end": 23.08, "text": "Get roasted."}, {"start": 23.08, "end": 23.88, "text": "Get a score."}, {"start": 23.88, "end": 24.44, "text": "Fix it."}, {"start": 24.44, "end": 25.24, "text": "Run it back."}, {"start": 25.24, "end": 26.24, "text": "It's not a toy."}, {"start": 26.24, "end": 27.52, "text": "It's a comedy gym."}, {"start": 27.52, "end": 31.56, "text": "The only place that tells you your bit sucks before the open mic does."}, {"start": 31.56, "end": 32.56, "text": "Free to try."}, {"start": 32.56, "end": 33.76, "text": "Bombed.app."}, {"start": 33.76, "end": 34.68, "text": "Fail in private."}, {"start": 34.68, "end": 35.68, "text": "Kill in public."}, {"start": 35.68, "end": 42.74, "text": "I named my app bombed because it's the most honest thing I own."}, {"start": 42.74, "end": 44.78, "text": "Go break a joke at bombed.app."}, {"start": 44.78, "end": 53.72, "text": "Next, for colorquiz.com."}, {"start": 53.72, "end": 59.4, "text": "Are you a red protector, a green thinker, a blue chameleon, or a yellow hugger?"}, {"start": 59.4, "end": 60.8, "text": "Take the free quiz."}, {"start": 60.8, "end": 61.88, "text": "Find your color."}, {"start": 61.88, "end": 66.48, "text": "Find out why your last three relationships ended and finally have a scientific excuse"}, {"start": 66.48, "end": 67.88, "text": "for your personality."}, {"start": 67.88, "end": 72.88, "text": "For colorquiz.com, it's cheaper than therapy and twice is accurate."}, {"start": 72.88, "end": 76.65, "text": "Honey, I took it."}, {"start": 76.65, "end": 77.85, "text": "I'm a red."}, {"start": 77.85, "end": 80.77, "text": "It explained everything and apologized for none of it."}, {"start": 80.77, "end": 81.77, "text": "Take the quiz."}, {"start": 81.77, "end": 90.97, "text": "Next, colors of my pain."}, {"start": 90.97, "end": 97.77, "text": "Dotcom every emotion has a color and this man turned his entire breakdown into a brand."}, {"start": 97.77, "end": 102.97, "text": "For worries, struggle, survival, pain with a purpose and a checkout button."}, {"start": 102.97, "end": 107.45, "text": "If your trauma is going to keep you up at night, it might as well have a website."}, {"start": 107.45, "end": 109.53, "text": "Colors of my pain.com."}, {"start": 109.53, "end": 117.22, "text": "Turn the damage into art."}, {"start": 117.22, "end": 118.66, "text": "Most people go to therapy."}, {"start": 118.66, "end": 120.34, "text": "I went to go daddy."}, {"start": 120.34, "end": 130.3, "text": "Visit colors of my pain.com feels something then book market."}, {"start": 130.3, "end": 133.38, "text": "And finally, onejesse.com."}, {"start": 133.38, "end": 139.26, "text": "One man, every hustle, web design, AI builds, cleaning empires, comedy and whatever the heck"}, {"start": 139.26, "end": 142.5, "text": "cloud flares doing today, all under one roof."}, {"start": 142.5, "end": 146.1, "text": "You need a website, a funnel or a small business brought to life."}, {"start": 146.1, "end": 152.38, "text": "Onejesse.com, the only contractor who will roast you and deliver."}, {"start": 152.38, "end": 156.46, "text": "He's broke, he's 50 and he still builds better websites than guys with funding."}, {"start": 156.46, "end": 164.64, "text": "Higher the man, onejesse.com."}, {"start": 164.64, "end": 171.86, "text": "For businesses, one legend, zero shame, bombed.app, for colorquiz.com, colors of my pain.com"}, {"start": 171.86, "end": 173.62, "text": "and onejesse.com."}, {"start": 173.62, "end": 174.96, "text": "Tell them the red line sent you."}, {"start": 174.96, "end": 176.28, "text": "Now back to the filth."}, {"start": 176.28, "end": 176.88, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nWe interrupt the filth for a word from our sobbing sponsor, himself. These are the official red line commercials, roasted and promoted because the man's got to eat. First up, bombed.app. Paste your joke. Here it performed in an original voice. Hear the crowd react. Get roasted. Get a score. Fix it. Run it back. It's not a toy. It's a comedy gym. The only place that tells you your bit sucks before the open mic does. Free to try. Bombed.app. Fail in private. Kill in public. I named my app bombed because it's the most honest thing I own. Go break a joke at bombed.app. Next, for colorquiz.com. Are you a red protector, a green thinker, a blue chameleon, or a yellow hugger? Take the free quiz. Find your color. Find out why your last three relationships ended and finally have a scientific excuse for your personality. For colorquiz.com, it's cheaper than therapy and twice is accurate. Honey, I took it. I'm a red. It explained everything and apologized for none of it. Take the quiz. Next, colors of my pain. Dotcom every emotion has a color and this man turned his entire breakdown into a brand. For worries, struggle, survival, pain with a purpose and a checkout button. If your trauma is going to keep you up at night, it might as well have a website. Colors of my pain.com. Turn the damage into art. Most people go to therapy. I went to go daddy. Visit colors of my pain.com feels something then book market. And finally, onejesse.com. One man, every hustle, web design, AI builds, cleaning empires, comedy and whatever the heck cloud flares doing today, all under one roof. You need a website, a funnel or a small business brought to life. Onejesse.com, the only contractor who will roast you and deliver. He's broke, he's 50 and he still builds better websites than guys with funding. Higher the man, onejesse.com. For businesses, one legend, zero shame, bombed.app, for colorquiz.com, colors of my pain.com and onejesse.com. Tell them the red line sent you. Now back to the filth. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}