{"file": "audio/vault/307_codexset_wildman_scream.mp3", "duration_sec": 318.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.6, "text": "He used to preach from a pulpit."}, {"start": 1.6, "end": 4.4, "text": "Now he preaches from the wreckage, 18 and up,"}, {"start": 4.4, "end": 7.48, "text": "the real scream, the kinesen gospel of heartbreak,"}, {"start": 7.48, "end": 15.5, "text": "the wild man."}, {"start": 15.5, "end": 17.74, "text": "People ask me why I'm not married."}, {"start": 17.74, "end": 19.94, "text": "And I tell him, calmness can be."}, {"start": 19.94, "end": 22.18, "text": "It's not that I don't believe in love."}, {"start": 22.18, "end": 23.54, "text": "I do."}, {"start": 23.54, "end": 25.38, "text": "I believe in it so much."}, {"start": 25.38, "end": 27.46, "text": "I did it nine times."}, {"start": 27.46, "end": 32.94, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 32.94, "end": 34.26, "text": "Nine."}, {"start": 34.26, "end": 37.14, "text": "And every time I gave her everything,"}, {"start": 37.14, "end": 39.9, "text": "the time, the hope,"}, {"start": 39.9, "end": 41.82, "text": "the last good year of my back."}, {"start": 41.82, "end": 46.86, "text": "And you want to know what she wanted after all that?"}, {"start": 46.86, "end": 50.26, "text": "You want to know she wanted more."}, {"start": 50.26, "end": 52.14, "text": "She wanted more."}, {"start": 52.14, "end": 54.34, "text": "Oh, there is no more."}, {"start": 54.34, "end": 72.57, "text": "I gave you the last of me and the security deposit."}, {"start": 72.57, "end": 78.57, "text": "So now, now I propose with Candy a ring pop."}, {"start": 78.57, "end": 82.13, "text": "And people laugh, but it's strategy C."}, {"start": 82.13, "end": 84.13, "text": "It's quiet genius."}, {"start": 84.13, "end": 86.05, "text": "Because a ring pop?"}, {"start": 86.05, "end": 88.97, "text": "A ring pop yet take the house?"}, {"start": 88.97, "end": 90.49, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 90.49, "end": 91.93, "text": "Can't take half."}, {"start": 91.93, "end": 95.53, "text": "You can't serve papers."}, {"start": 95.53, "end": 98.09, "text": "Paper is on a piece of candy."}, {"start": 98.09, "end": 100.33, "text": "Oh, I finally outsmarted love."}, {"start": 100.33, "end": 113.02, "text": "And it only cost me everything."}, {"start": 113.02, "end": 115.66, "text": "They say marriage is about compromise."}, {"start": 115.66, "end": 118.5, "text": "You know what compromise means, fellas?"}, {"start": 118.5, "end": 119.94, "text": "It means you're wrong."}, {"start": 119.94, "end": 122.06, "text": "And you're going to agree that you're wrong."}, {"start": 122.06, "end": 123.74, "text": "Wrong."}, {"start": 123.74, "end": 127.02, "text": "Calmly for the rest of your life."}, {"start": 127.02, "end": 129.9, "text": "Oh, yes, dear, isn't a phrase."}, {"start": 129.9, "end": 132.98, "text": "It's a prison sentence with a wedding registry."}, {"start": 132.98, "end": 143.94, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 143.94, "end": 144.98, "text": "And the fights."}, {"start": 144.98, "end": 146.18, "text": "Oh, the fights."}, {"start": 146.18, "end": 148.46, "text": "She'd say, you never listen."}, {"start": 148.46, "end": 150.58, "text": "And I'd say, real soft."}, {"start": 150.58, "end": 151.82, "text": "What?"}, {"start": 151.82, "end": 153.06, "text": "And that's the trap."}, {"start": 153.06, "end": 154.06, "text": "That's the trap."}, {"start": 154.06, "end": 156.18, "text": "You all right there."}, {"start": 156.18, "end": 157.98, "text": "There is no correct answer."}, {"start": 157.98, "end": 161.82, "text": "It's a riddle guarded by a woman who remembers 2009."}, {"start": 161.82, "end": 171.09, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 171.09, "end": 173.65, "text": "She left me for a guy with a boat."}, {"start": 173.65, "end": 174.61, "text": "A boat?"}, {"start": 174.61, "end": 177.89, "text": "I said, baby, you want the water that bad?"}, {"start": 177.89, "end": 178.69, "text": "Stay."}, {"start": 178.69, "end": 179.85, "text": "Stay."}, {"start": 179.85, "end": 182.21, "text": "I will cry you in ocean."}, {"start": 182.21, "end": 185.13, "text": "It's free and it's already rising."}, {"start": 185.13, "end": 186.53, "text": "Get in."}, {"start": 186.53, "end": 201.63, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 201.63, "end": 203.51, "text": "And I'm 50 now."}, {"start": 203.51, "end": 207.23, "text": "50 broke, clean in other people's houses."}, {"start": 207.23, "end": 208.83, "text": "And at night."}, {"start": 208.83, "end": 211.79, "text": "At night, it's just me and three dogs."}, {"start": 211.79, "end": 212.79, "text": "And you know what?"}, {"start": 212.79, "end": 215.35, "text": "They're the only ones who ever stayed."}, {"start": 215.35, "end": 217.55, "text": "The dogs never asked for half."}, {"start": 217.55, "end": 220.43, "text": "The dogs never said, we need to talk."}, {"start": 220.43, "end": 223.79, "text": "A dog looks at a broke man and sees a king."}, {"start": 223.79, "end": 224.63, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 224.63, "end": 226.79, "text": "That's the only loyalty I got left."}, {"start": 226.79, "end": 238.78, "text": "And it eats off the floor."}, {"start": 238.78, "end": 239.82, "text": "And I'm not bitter."}, {"start": 239.82, "end": 240.78, "text": "I'm not."}, {"start": 240.78, "end": 243.74, "text": "You don't get this loud over something you didn't love."}, {"start": 243.74, "end": 245.66, "text": "The screaming in is the love."}, {"start": 245.66, "end": 257.81, "text": "The screaming in is the receipt."}, {"start": 257.81, "end": 258.81, "text": "But here's the thing."}, {"start": 258.81, "end": 260.65, "text": "They don't tell you."}, {"start": 260.65, "end": 262.57, "text": "I do it again."}, {"start": 262.57, "end": 263.45, "text": "Quiet."}, {"start": 263.45, "end": 264.77, "text": "All nine times."}, {"start": 264.77, "end": 269.21, "text": "Because a man who quits on love just gets quiet and safe"}, {"start": 269.21, "end": 271.25, "text": "and dead inside."}, {"start": 271.25, "end": 273.61, "text": "And I would rather be broke and loud."}, {"start": 273.61, "end": 274.41, "text": "And wrong."}, {"start": 274.41, "end": 277.57, "text": "You screaming in a comedy club at 50."}, {"start": 277.57, "end": 281.13, "text": "Then quiet and safe and alone with my money."}, {"start": 281.13, "end": 281.65, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 281.65, "end": 282.05, "text": "Oh."}, {"start": 282.05, "end": 284.01, "text": "That's the gospel."}, {"start": 284.01, "end": 285.89, "text": "That's the red line."}, {"start": 285.89, "end": 302.51, "text": "Scream if you've ever loved somebody who took the couch."}, {"start": 302.51, "end": 305.19, "text": "Folks, we are legally required to let the wild man scream"}, {"start": 305.19, "end": 306.55, "text": "it out twice a day."}, {"start": 306.55, "end": 309.95, "text": "Somebody walk him to the parking lot, slowly, kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nHe used to preach from a pulpit. Now he preaches from the wreckage, 18 and up, the real scream, the kinesen gospel of heartbreak, the wild man. People ask me why I'm not married. And I tell him, calmness can be. It's not that I don't believe in love. I do. I believe in it so much. I did it nine times. Oh. Nine. And every time I gave her everything, the time, the hope, the last good year of my back. And you want to know what she wanted after all that? You want to know she wanted more. She wanted more. Oh, there is no more. I gave you the last of me and the security deposit. So now, now I propose with Candy a ring pop. And people laugh, but it's strategy C. It's quiet genius. Because a ring pop? A ring pop yet take the house? Oh. Can't take half. You can't serve papers. Paper is on a piece of candy. Oh, I finally outsmarted love. And it only cost me everything. They say marriage is about compromise. You know what compromise means, fellas? It means you're wrong. And you're going to agree that you're wrong. Wrong. Calmly for the rest of your life. Oh, yes, dear, isn't a phrase. It's a prison sentence with a wedding registry. Oh. And the fights. Oh, the fights. She'd say, you never listen. And I'd say, real soft. What? And that's the trap. That's the trap. You all right there. There is no correct answer. It's a riddle guarded by a woman who remembers 2009. Oh. She left me for a guy with a boat. A boat? I said, baby, you want the water that bad? Stay. Stay. I will cry you in ocean. It's free and it's already rising. Get in. Oh. And I'm 50 now. 50 broke, clean in other people's houses. And at night. At night, it's just me and three dogs. And you know what? They're the only ones who ever stayed. The dogs never asked for half. The dogs never said, we need to talk. A dog looks at a broke man and sees a king. Oh. That's the only loyalty I got left. And it eats off the floor. And I'm not bitter. I'm not. You don't get this loud over something you didn't love. The screaming in is the love. The screaming in is the receipt. But here's the thing. They don't tell you. I do it again. Quiet. All nine times. Because a man who quits on love just gets quiet and safe and dead inside. And I would rather be broke and loud. And wrong. You screaming in a comedy club at 50. Then quiet and safe and alone with my money. Oh. Oh. That's the gospel. That's the red line. Scream if you've ever loved somebody who took the couch. Folks, we are legally required to let the wild man scream it out twice a day. Somebody walk him to the parking lot, slowly, kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}