{"file": "audio/vault/29_summer_vs_winter.mp3", "duration_sec": 134.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 3.8, "text": "Adults only."}, {"start": 3.8, "end": 5.54, "text": "No kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.24, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.24, "end": 10.24, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.24, "end": 13.88, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer"}, {"start": 13.88, "end": 16.68, "text": "24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.68, "end": 20.44, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.44, "end": 24.12, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.12, "end": 25.36, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 25.36, "end": 27.16, "text": "Tonight, Summer vs Winter."}, {"start": 27.16, "end": 28.84, "text": "I'm a winter guy because in summer,"}, {"start": 28.84, "end": 30.72, "text": "everybody's happy and outside,"}, {"start": 30.72, "end": 33.28, "text": "and that's a lot of pressure for a man whose natural state"}, {"start": 33.28, "end": 34.92, "text": "is indoor sad."}, {"start": 34.92, "end": 40.68, "text": "Summer people fire, skip."}, {"start": 40.68, "end": 43.76, "text": "Jesse, you hate summer because you'd have to take your shirt off,"}, {"start": 43.76, "end": 52.56, "text": "and your body is a question mark with anxiety."}, {"start": 52.56, "end": 55.28, "text": "Skip, you live for summer because it's the only season"}, {"start": 55.28, "end": 57.52, "text": "your personality has SPF."}, {"start": 57.52, "end": 58.68, "text": "Take away the beach,"}, {"start": 58.68, "end": 67.15, "text": "and you're just a sad man flexing at a funeral."}, {"start": 67.15, "end": 69.07, "text": "Winters for old folks like me,"}, {"start": 69.07, "end": 70.55, "text": "you stay inside, you drink,"}, {"start": 70.55, "end": 72.47, "text": "and nobody expects you to have plans."}, {"start": 72.47, "end": 79.02, "text": "It's basically a doctor's note for the whole season."}, {"start": 79.02, "end": 80.3, "text": "Summer's my whole brand,"}, {"start": 80.3, "end": 82.26, "text": "Bikini's Festival's content."}, {"start": 82.26, "end": 91.37, "text": "Jesse, your summer body is a winter coat with regrets."}, {"start": 91.37, "end": 92.97, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 92.97, "end": 95.25, "text": "Summer winter, one of you is faking joy in the heat,"}, {"start": 95.25, "end": 97.17, "text": "the others hibernating from your own life,"}, {"start": 97.17, "end": 98.93, "text": "and we all just want it to be over."}, {"start": 98.93, "end": 102.69, "text": "Truth is, I'm a winter man because the cold matches the inside."}, {"start": 102.69, "end": 104.49, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 104.49, "end": 112.84, "text": "This is Red Line, Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 112.84, "end": 114.12, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 114.12, "end": 115.4, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 115.4, "end": 118.8, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special"}, {"start": 118.8, "end": 119.96, "text": "four times a month."}, {"start": 119.96, "end": 123.16, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 123.16, "end": 125.2, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after"}, {"start": 125.2, "end": 128.0, "text": "because at Red Line, the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 128.0, "end": 130.88, "text": "Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 130.88, "end": 132.56, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 132.56, "end": 134.36, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only. No kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Tonight, Summer vs Winter. I'm a winter guy because in summer, everybody's happy and outside, and that's a lot of pressure for a man whose natural state is indoor sad. Summer people fire, skip. Jesse, you hate summer because you'd have to take your shirt off, and your body is a question mark with anxiety. Skip, you live for summer because it's the only season your personality has SPF. Take away the beach, and you're just a sad man flexing at a funeral. Winters for old folks like me, you stay inside, you drink, and nobody expects you to have plans. It's basically a doctor's note for the whole season. Summer's my whole brand, Bikini's Festival's content. Jesse, your summer body is a winter coat with regrets. And that's the war, folks. Summer winter, one of you is faking joy in the heat, the others hibernating from your own life, and we all just want it to be over. Truth is, I'm a winter man because the cold matches the inside. The hero gets the last laugh. This is Red Line, Kill Jesse. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}