{"file": "audio/vault/293_codexset_wildman_scream_love.mp3", "duration_sec": 247.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.0, "text": "He used to preach."}, {"start": 1.0, "end": 4.0, "text": "Now he just screams the parts they left out of the vows."}, {"start": 4.0, "end": 5.0, "text": "18 and up."}, {"start": 5.0, "end": 9.0, "text": "Strap in for the screaming preacher of heartbreak, the wild man."}, {"start": 15.66, "end": 17.66, "text": "They tell you love is patient."}, {"start": 17.66, "end": 18.66, "text": "Love is kind."}, {"start": 20.66, "end": 24.66, "text": "Then why am I 50 broke and sleeping in the shape of an apology?"}, {"start": 24.66, "end": 37.08, "text": "I'm not bitter. I loved her. That's the problem."}, {"start": 37.08, "end": 40.08, "text": "You don't get this loud. Over somebody you didn't love."}, {"start": 40.08, "end": 41.08, "text": "Oh!"}, {"start": 42.08, "end": 49.69, "text": "She said, I just need space."}, {"start": 49.69, "end": 53.69, "text": "Space? I gave you a two bedroom and a Tesla I can't afford."}, {"start": 53.69, "end": 58.97, "text": "You don't need space. You'll need an exit."}, {"start": 58.97, "end": 61.97, "text": "And you found the door and I'm still paying for."}, {"start": 61.97, "end": 70.3, "text": "Oh! Oh!"}, {"start": 70.3, "end": 72.3, "text": "Marriage, marriage."}, {"start": 72.3, "end": 74.3, "text": "Two people promise forever."}, {"start": 74.3, "end": 78.3, "text": "And forever lasts exactly until somebody loads the dishwasher wrong."}, {"start": 79.3, "end": 86.46, "text": "They say communication is key."}, {"start": 86.46, "end": 88.46, "text": "I communicated."}, {"start": 88.46, "end": 90.46, "text": "I said, I'm sorry. You will..."}, {"start": 90.46, "end": 93.46, "text": "She said, for what?"}, {"start": 93.46, "end": 95.46, "text": "And brother, that is the trap."}, {"start": 95.46, "end": 97.46, "text": "There is no right answer."}, {"start": 97.46, "end": 100.46, "text": "It's a riddle, regarded by a dragon who knows your pin number."}, {"start": 100.46, "end": 112.69, "text": "Oh! I proposed nine times with candy."}, {"start": 112.69, "end": 114.69, "text": "You know why?"}, {"start": 114.69, "end": 116.69, "text": "Because every time my heart got crushed,"}, {"start": 116.69, "end": 120.69, "text": "it grew back dumber and horneer and more hopeful."}, {"start": 120.69, "end": 122.69, "text": "That's not romance."}, {"start": 122.69, "end": 124.69, "text": "That's a head injury with a ring pop."}, {"start": 124.69, "end": 126.69, "text": "Oh! Oh!"}, {"start": 126.69, "end": 133.46, "text": "Dating at 50."}, {"start": 133.46, "end": 135.46, "text": "They want a man with no baggage."}, {"start": 135.46, "end": 137.46, "text": "I'm not a man with baggage."}, {"start": 137.46, "end": 139.46, "text": "I'm a man who is the baggage carousel."}, {"start": 139.46, "end": 142.46, "text": "And it's broken. And it's still going around."}, {"start": 142.46, "end": 144.46, "text": "And there's one sad bag on it."}, {"start": 144.46, "end": 145.46, "text": "And it's me."}, {"start": 151.86, "end": 153.86, "text": "She left me for a guy with a boat."}, {"start": 153.86, "end": 155.86, "text": "A boat!"}, {"start": 155.86, "end": 157.86, "text": "You want water that bad?"}, {"start": 157.86, "end": 159.86, "text": "I'll cry you in ocean."}, {"start": 159.86, "end": 160.86, "text": "Get in."}, {"start": 160.86, "end": 161.86, "text": "It's free."}, {"start": 161.86, "end": 162.86, "text": "And it's rising."}, {"start": 162.86, "end": 164.86, "text": "Oh!"}, {"start": 164.86, "end": 174.25, "text": "And the worst part?"}, {"start": 174.25, "end": 176.25, "text": "The dog still loved me."}, {"start": 176.25, "end": 180.25, "text": "Three dogs looking at me like I'm a king while my bank account screams."}, {"start": 180.25, "end": 184.25, "text": "And my ex texts you up at 2am just to maintain the haunting."}, {"start": 184.25, "end": 185.25, "text": "Oh!"}, {"start": 185.25, "end": 186.25, "text": "Oh!"}, {"start": 186.25, "end": 194.94, "text": "I'm not crazy."}, {"start": 194.94, "end": 196.94, "text": "Love made me like this."}, {"start": 196.94, "end": 199.94, "text": "You hand a man a heart and no instructions."}, {"start": 199.94, "end": 202.94, "text": "And your shark 20 sets it on fire for a laugh?"}, {"start": 202.94, "end": 205.94, "text": "This is the only church I got left."}, {"start": 205.94, "end": 207.94, "text": "Scream with me."}, {"start": 207.94, "end": 215.45, "text": "But I do it again all nine times."}, {"start": 215.45, "end": 219.45, "text": "Because a man who stops believing in love is just quiet."}, {"start": 219.45, "end": 223.45, "text": "And I would rather be loud, broke and wrong than quiet and safe."}, {"start": 223.45, "end": 225.45, "text": "Oh, that's the red line."}, {"start": 225.45, "end": 235.41, "text": "And that ladies and gentlemen is why we don't give the Wild Man caffeine before the show."}, {"start": 235.41, "end": 237.41, "text": "Somebody hug him from a distance."}, {"start": 237.41, "end": 239.41, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nHe used to preach. Now he just screams the parts they left out of the vows. 18 and up. Strap in for the screaming preacher of heartbreak, the wild man. They tell you love is patient. Love is kind. Then why am I 50 broke and sleeping in the shape of an apology? I'm not bitter. I loved her. That's the problem. You don't get this loud. Over somebody you didn't love. Oh! She said, I just need space. Space? I gave you a two bedroom and a Tesla I can't afford. You don't need space. You'll need an exit. And you found the door and I'm still paying for. Oh! Oh! Marriage, marriage. Two people promise forever. And forever lasts exactly until somebody loads the dishwasher wrong. They say communication is key. I communicated. I said, I'm sorry. You will... She said, for what? And brother, that is the trap. There is no right answer. It's a riddle, regarded by a dragon who knows your pin number. Oh! I proposed nine times with candy. You know why? Because every time my heart got crushed, it grew back dumber and horneer and more hopeful. That's not romance. That's a head injury with a ring pop. Oh! Oh! Dating at 50. They want a man with no baggage. I'm not a man with baggage. I'm a man who is the baggage carousel. And it's broken. And it's still going around. And there's one sad bag on it. And it's me. She left me for a guy with a boat. A boat! You want water that bad? I'll cry you in ocean. Get in. It's free. And it's rising. Oh! And the worst part? The dog still loved me. Three dogs looking at me like I'm a king while my bank account screams. And my ex texts you up at 2am just to maintain the haunting. Oh! Oh! I'm not crazy. Love made me like this. You hand a man a heart and no instructions. And your shark 20 sets it on fire for a laugh? This is the only church I got left. Scream with me. But I do it again all nine times. Because a man who stops believing in love is just quiet. And I would rather be loud, broke and wrong than quiet and safe. Oh, that's the red line. And that ladies and gentlemen is why we don't give the Wild Man caffeine before the show. Somebody hug him from a distance. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}