{"file": "audio/vault/28_city_vs_country.mp3", "duration_sec": 141.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 5.54, "text": "Adults only, no kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.24, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.24, "end": 10.24, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.24, "end": 13.88, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer"}, {"start": 13.88, "end": 16.68, "text": "24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.68, "end": 20.42, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.42, "end": 24.12, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.12, "end": 25.32, "text": "Jesse."}, {"start": 25.32, "end": 27.16, "text": "Tonight City vs Country."}, {"start": 27.16, "end": 29.7, "text": "I'm a city boy, which means I pay three grand a month"}, {"start": 29.7, "end": 33.06, "text": "to live in a shoebox next to a guy who screams at 4 a.m."}, {"start": 33.06, "end": 34.86, "text": "and I call it convenient."}, {"start": 34.86, "end": 36.56, "text": "Country folks come at me."}, {"start": 36.56, "end": 41.19, "text": "Gov."}, {"start": 41.19, "end": 43.69, "text": "Jesse's city living, you pay a fortune"}, {"start": 43.69, "end": 45.79, "text": "to be lonely surrounded by people."}, {"start": 45.79, "end": 54.81, "text": "Out in the country, we're lonely for free."}, {"start": 54.81, "end": 57.91, "text": "Gov, your idea of nightlife is a cow that won't sleep."}, {"start": 57.91, "end": 59.05, "text": "You don't have neighbors."}, {"start": 59.05, "end": 67.17, "text": "You have witnesses who live a mile away."}, {"start": 67.17, "end": 70.27, "text": "City people walk past a man having a heart attack"}, {"start": 70.27, "end": 72.67, "text": "and call it minding their business."}, {"start": 72.67, "end": 75.67, "text": "At least in the country, somebody will stop mostly"}, {"start": 75.67, "end": 86.56, "text": "to see if they can have your truck."}, {"start": 86.56, "end": 89.44, "text": "Country boys marry their high school sweetheart,"}, {"start": 89.44, "end": 95.74, "text": "because she's the only girl who didn't leave the county."}, {"start": 95.74, "end": 96.82, "text": "Shedding."}, {"start": 96.82, "end": 98.34, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 98.34, "end": 100.38, "text": "City Country, one of you can't afford rent."}, {"start": 100.38, "end": 101.54, "text": "The other can't find a date."}, {"start": 101.54, "end": 103.86, "text": "And we all just want to porch to be miserable on."}, {"start": 103.86, "end": 106.14, "text": "Truth is I live in the city broke in a box"}, {"start": 106.14, "end": 108.42, "text": "with three dogs in a 40-year mortgage."}, {"start": 108.42, "end": 109.9, "text": "But it's M.Y. box."}, {"start": 109.9, "end": 111.54, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 111.54, "end": 112.9, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 112.9, "end": 119.82, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 119.82, "end": 121.1, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 121.1, "end": 122.34, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 122.34, "end": 126.02, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four"}, {"start": 126.02, "end": 126.94, "text": "times a month."}, {"start": 126.94, "end": 130.14, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 130.14, "end": 132.14, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after,"}, {"start": 132.14, "end": 134.94, "text": "because at Red Line, the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 134.94, "end": 137.82, "text": "Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 137.82, "end": 139.54, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 139.54, "end": 141.5, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only, no kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse. Tonight City vs Country. I'm a city boy, which means I pay three grand a month to live in a shoebox next to a guy who screams at 4 a.m. and I call it convenient. Country folks come at me. Gov. Jesse's city living, you pay a fortune to be lonely surrounded by people. Out in the country, we're lonely for free. Gov, your idea of nightlife is a cow that won't sleep. You don't have neighbors. You have witnesses who live a mile away. City people walk past a man having a heart attack and call it minding their business. At least in the country, somebody will stop mostly to see if they can have your truck. Country boys marry their high school sweetheart, because she's the only girl who didn't leave the county. Shedding. And that's the war, folks. City Country, one of you can't afford rent. The other can't find a date. And we all just want to porch to be miserable on. Truth is I live in the city broke in a box with three dogs in a 40-year mortgage. But it's M.Y. box. The hero gets the last laugh. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after, because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}