{"file": "audio/vault/280_codexset_redline_rideshare_club_set.mp3", "duration_sec": 297.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 4.64, "text": "Headliner hour at the red line, the man who turned a backseat into a confession booth, Jessie."}, {"start": 11.82, "end": 16.94, "text": "I made colors of my pain.com because therapy was expensive and GoDaddy was having a sale."}, {"start": 17.58, "end": 20.94, "text": "That's my mental health plan, domain renewal, and denial."}, {"start": 27.7, "end": 31.22, "text": "Ride-chair is the only job where strangers get in your car and say,"}, {"start": 31.22, "end": 34.74, "text": "I don't usually tell people this. Good, keep the streak alive."}, {"start": 41.5, "end": 44.54, "text": "Drunk passengers confess like my Honda is a church."}, {"start": 44.54, "end": 47.18, "text": "Forgive me, driver, for I have texted my ex."}, {"start": 55.33, "end": 58.53, "text": "I don't judge drunk people. I just listen and think,"}, {"start": 58.53, "end": 61.01, "text": "this is why your group chat has a side group chat."}, {"start": 67.7, "end": 72.98, "text": "One woman told me her man was toxic. Then she added him as a stop. That's not love."}, {"start": 72.98, "end": 74.5, "text": "That's a relapse with directions."}, {"start": 82.74, "end": 88.82, "text": "My pain color is 3am parking lot outside the club red. That's not a color. That's a crime scene"}, {"start": 88.82, "end": 99.86, "text": "with heels. Drunk couples fight in my backseat like I'm the judge. I'm not qualified."}, {"start": 99.86, "end": 111.3, "text": "I still think check engine means maybe later. A guy asked if I could take the long way because he"}, {"start": 111.3, "end": 116.58, "text": "wasn't ready to go home. I said, brother, neither was your wife when she booked you this ride."}, {"start": 124.85, "end": 131.25, "text": "Everybody wants closure. Nobody wants accountability. Closure has a destination. Accountability adds a stop."}, {"start": 131.25, "end": 143.17, "text": "I should rename my car Confessions. Every ride starts with a pickup and ends with me knowing"}, {"start": 143.17, "end": 155.25, "text": "who cheated at brunch. My favorite drunk phrase is I'm grown. Nobody grown has to announce it while"}, {"start": 155.25, "end": 168.61, "text": "holding one shoot. Open my comics and ride share passengers are the same. Everybody gets three"}, {"start": 168.61, "end": 173.09, "text": "minutes. Nobody knows where they're going and somebody always smells like bad choices."}, {"start": 179.78, "end": 185.86, "text": "Colors of my pain.com has shades. Abandonment Amber unpaid invoice blue and passenger said he'll"}, {"start": 185.86, "end": 198.58, "text": "tip in the app invisible. The craziest passengers are the quiet ones. Loud drunks tell you the drama."}, {"start": 198.58, "end": 212.5, "text": "Quiet drunks are actively becoming the drama. One dude said, I'm not a bad person. I said,"}, {"start": 212.5, "end": 216.98, "text": "sir, the GPS says you're going to your ex's apartment with flowers from a gas station."}, {"start": 220.45, "end": 229.79, "text": "Friday night ride share is wild because everybody's chasing love, closure, revenge, or mozzarella sticks."}, {"start": 236.38, "end": 241.98, "text": "I've watched drunk women become detectives. One phone notification and suddenly she's CSI,"}, {"start": 241.98, "end": 255.86, "text": "Sacramento. And drunk men become motivational speakers. Bro, you gotta believe in yourself."}, {"start": 255.86, "end": 267.44, "text": "Sir, you just lost a fight with a seat belt. My car doesn't have leather seats. It has emotional"}, {"start": 267.44, "end": 279.73, "text": "evidence. Colors of my pain.com is really just me trying to turn damage into product because in"}, {"start": 279.73, "end": 290.54, "text": "America, if your pain doesn't make money, it's just a personality. Turn your damage into a"}, {"start": 290.54, "end": 292.54, "text": "down load. Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nHeadliner hour at the red line, the man who turned a backseat into a confession booth, Jessie. I made colors of my pain.com because therapy was expensive and GoDaddy was having a sale. That's my mental health plan, domain renewal, and denial. Ride-chair is the only job where strangers get in your car and say, I don't usually tell people this. Good, keep the streak alive. Drunk passengers confess like my Honda is a church. Forgive me, driver, for I have texted my ex. I don't judge drunk people. I just listen and think, this is why your group chat has a side group chat. One woman told me her man was toxic. Then she added him as a stop. That's not love. That's a relapse with directions. My pain color is 3am parking lot outside the club red. That's not a color. That's a crime scene with heels. Drunk couples fight in my backseat like I'm the judge. I'm not qualified. I still think check engine means maybe later. A guy asked if I could take the long way because he wasn't ready to go home. I said, brother, neither was your wife when she booked you this ride. Everybody wants closure. Nobody wants accountability. Closure has a destination. Accountability adds a stop. I should rename my car Confessions. Every ride starts with a pickup and ends with me knowing who cheated at brunch. My favorite drunk phrase is I'm grown. Nobody grown has to announce it while holding one shoot. Open my comics and ride share passengers are the same. Everybody gets three minutes. Nobody knows where they're going and somebody always smells like bad choices. Colors of my pain.com has shades. Abandonment Amber unpaid invoice blue and passenger said he'll tip in the app invisible. The craziest passengers are the quiet ones. Loud drunks tell you the drama. Quiet drunks are actively becoming the drama. One dude said, I'm not a bad person. I said, sir, the GPS says you're going to your ex's apartment with flowers from a gas station. Friday night ride share is wild because everybody's chasing love, closure, revenge, or mozzarella sticks. I've watched drunk women become detectives. One phone notification and suddenly she's CSI, Sacramento. And drunk men become motivational speakers. Bro, you gotta believe in yourself. Sir, you just lost a fight with a seat belt. My car doesn't have leather seats. It has emotional evidence. Colors of my pain.com is really just me trying to turn damage into product because in America, if your pain doesn't make money, it's just a personality. Turn your damage into a down load. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}