{"file": "audio/vault/27_drinkers_vs_sober.mp3", "duration_sec": 179.1, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 5.54, "text": "Adults only, no kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.24, "text": "For 15 years one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.24, "end": 10.24, "text": "Tonight we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.24, "end": 13.88, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer"}, {"start": 13.88, "end": 16.68, "text": "24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.68, "end": 20.44, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.44, "end": 24.12, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.12, "end": 25.36, "text": "Jesse."}, {"start": 25.36, "end": 27.26, "text": "Tonight drinkers versus sober."}, {"start": 27.26, "end": 28.52, "text": "And I'm team sober."}, {"start": 28.52, "end": 31.36, "text": "I quit drinking which means I feel every single thing now"}, {"start": 31.36, "end": 33.32, "text": "in stunning high definition."}, {"start": 33.32, "end": 37.0, "text": "I drink coffee like it owes me money and I cry a dog commercials."}, {"start": 37.0, "end": 38.4, "text": "Drinkers come at me."}, {"start": 38.4, "end": 44.1, "text": "Vinnie you got a beer swing."}, {"start": 44.1, "end": 45.94, "text": "Jesse you sober you're no fun."}, {"start": 45.94, "end": 48.3, "text": "A party with you is just a guy drinking water"}, {"start": 48.3, "end": 50.14, "text": "and judging everyone's choices."}, {"start": 50.14, "end": 52.82, "text": "At least when I black out I forget my problems."}, {"start": 52.82, "end": 64.29, "text": "You remember every last one of yours."}, {"start": 64.29, "end": 67.65, "text": "Vinnie you drink socially the way a house burns slightly."}, {"start": 67.65, "end": 68.77, "text": "You don't have a hobby."}, {"start": 68.77, "end": 77.22, "text": "You got a coping mechanism with a lime in it."}, {"start": 77.22, "end": 78.94, "text": "I drink and I love it."}, {"start": 78.94, "end": 81.02, "text": "Sober people are exhausting."}, {"start": 81.02, "end": 82.34, "text": "They remember what you said."}, {"start": 82.34, "end": 88.86, "text": "They show up on time and they never split a shot."}, {"start": 88.86, "end": 92.46, "text": "Jettin I'm 81 and I still drink."}, {"start": 92.46, "end": 95.46, "text": "Listen at my age the doctor said the alcohol"}, {"start": 95.46, "end": 103.54, "text": "is the only thing holding me together."}, {"start": 103.54, "end": 105.66, "text": "See but here's my truth folks."}, {"start": 105.66, "end": 107.9, "text": "I got sober because I watched my dad drink"}, {"start": 107.9, "end": 109.58, "text": "for 18 years of my life."}, {"start": 109.58, "end": 110.82, "text": "18 years."}, {"start": 110.82, "end": 113.1, "text": "He is the reason I gave my pain a color."}, {"start": 113.1, "end": 115.26, "text": "And that color was the bottom of a glass."}, {"start": 115.26, "end": 117.62, "text": "So when I quit I didn't just put down a drink."}, {"start": 117.62, "end": 119.14, "text": "I put down his drink."}, {"start": 119.14, "end": 124.73, "text": "The one that had been waiting for me my whole life."}, {"start": 124.73, "end": 130.7, "text": "And that kid is the bravest punch line in the room."}, {"start": 130.7, "end": 131.86, "text": "So drink don't drink."}, {"start": 131.86, "end": 133.02, "text": "One of us numbs the pain."}, {"start": 133.02, "end": 134.5, "text": "The other finally feels it."}, {"start": 134.5, "end": 135.82, "text": "I chose to feel it."}, {"start": 135.82, "end": 137.82, "text": "And then I turned it into all of this."}, {"start": 137.82, "end": 140.26, "text": "Colors of my pain isn't a website folks."}, {"start": 140.26, "end": 142.58, "text": "It's a guy who decided his story was gonna end"}, {"start": 142.58, "end": 144.1, "text": "different than his old man's."}, {"start": 144.1, "end": 146.1, "text": "That's why the hero gets the last laugh"}, {"start": 146.14, "end": 148.14, "text": "because I'm still here to laugh at all."}, {"start": 148.14, "end": 149.38, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 149.38, "end": 150.78, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 150.78, "end": 157.49, "text": "Good night."}, {"start": 157.49, "end": 158.81, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 158.81, "end": 160.01, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 160.01, "end": 163.45, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse Special"}, {"start": 163.45, "end": 164.61, "text": "four times a month."}, {"start": 164.61, "end": 167.81, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 167.81, "end": 169.85, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after"}, {"start": 169.85, "end": 172.61, "text": "because at Red Line the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 172.61, "end": 175.49, "text": "Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 175.49, "end": 177.21, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 177.21, "end": 179.01, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only, no kids, no mercy. For 15 years one show ruled comedy. Tonight we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse. Tonight drinkers versus sober. And I'm team sober. I quit drinking which means I feel every single thing now in stunning high definition. I drink coffee like it owes me money and I cry a dog commercials. Drinkers come at me. Vinnie you got a beer swing. Jesse you sober you're no fun. A party with you is just a guy drinking water and judging everyone's choices. At least when I black out I forget my problems. You remember every last one of yours. Vinnie you drink socially the way a house burns slightly. You don't have a hobby. You got a coping mechanism with a lime in it. I drink and I love it. Sober people are exhausting. They remember what you said. They show up on time and they never split a shot. Jettin I'm 81 and I still drink. Listen at my age the doctor said the alcohol is the only thing holding me together. See but here's my truth folks. I got sober because I watched my dad drink for 18 years of my life. 18 years. He is the reason I gave my pain a color. And that color was the bottom of a glass. So when I quit I didn't just put down a drink. I put down his drink. The one that had been waiting for me my whole life. And that kid is the bravest punch line in the room. So drink don't drink. One of us numbs the pain. The other finally feels it. I chose to feel it. And then I turned it into all of this. Colors of my pain isn't a website folks. It's a guy who decided his story was gonna end different than his old man's. That's why the hero gets the last laugh because I'm still here to laugh at all. This is Red Line. This is Kill Jesse. Good night. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse Special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}