{"file": "audio/vault/277_datinggame_202606262320.mp3", "duration_sec": 404.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.16, "text": "Lights up."}, {"start": 1.16, "end": 3.3, "text": "It's the red line dating game."}, {"start": 3.3, "end": 6.5, "text": "The only show where your personality is the punch line"}, {"start": 6.5, "end": 8.4, "text": "brought to you by the four colors."}, {"start": 8.4, "end": 11.6, "text": "Find out you're crazy at fourcolorquiz.com,"}, {"start": 11.6, "end": 21.07, "text": "your hosts, the legend Jesse and me."}, {"start": 21.07, "end": 23.11, "text": "Welcome you beautiful disasters."}, {"start": 23.11, "end": 26.19, "text": "Tonight from our open mic, two comics are looking for love."}, {"start": 26.19, "end": 27.07, "text": "Here's the game."}, {"start": 27.07, "end": 28.89, "text": "Our fellow's ask our ladies answer"}, {"start": 28.89, "end": 32.51, "text": "and every answer is powered by their four color personality."}, {"start": 32.51, "end": 34.15, "text": "Red protects green over things."}, {"start": 34.15, "end": 36.65, "text": "Blue can't pick yellow won't stop hugging."}, {"start": 36.65, "end": 38.95, "text": "Let's find some crazy."}, {"start": 38.95, "end": 41.19, "text": "First up our open mic, Bachelor Mickey."}, {"start": 41.19, "end": 43.25, "text": "On the line, four mystery ladies."}, {"start": 43.25, "end": 49.08, "text": "Mickey hit him with question one."}, {"start": 49.08, "end": 51.78, "text": "Where do you see us in five years?"}, {"start": 51.78, "end": 57.48, "text": "Scarlett a red the protector."}, {"start": 57.48, "end": 59.08, "text": "Simple I already booked it,"}, {"start": 59.08, "end": 61.18, "text": "chose your outfit and informed your mother."}, {"start": 61.18, "end": 68.6, "text": "It's handled."}, {"start": 68.6, "end": 74.13, "text": "Ivy agreeing the thinker."}, {"start": 74.13, "end": 77.23, "text": "Romance to me is a well-sighted pros and cons list"}, {"start": 77.23, "end": 80.57, "text": "in a long calm terrifying silence."}, {"start": 80.57, "end": 87.76, "text": "Oh, Mickey, you sweating yet?"}, {"start": 87.76, "end": 92.65, "text": "One more."}, {"start": 92.65, "end": 95.41, "text": "What does commitment mean to you?"}, {"start": 95.41, "end": 101.0, "text": "Azure blue the chameleon."}, {"start": 101.0, "end": 102.84, "text": "Honestly, whatever you want."}, {"start": 102.84, "end": 104.14, "text": "I don't have opinions anymore."}, {"start": 104.14, "end": 106.14, "text": "I have your opinions now."}, {"start": 106.14, "end": 117.5, "text": "Oh, sunny a yellow the hugger."}, {"start": 117.5, "end": 118.7, "text": "I don't have red flags."}, {"start": 118.7, "end": 128.3, "text": "I have a heart that texts you up to the whole contact list."}, {"start": 128.3, "end": 129.58, "text": "Speed round ladies."}, {"start": 129.58, "end": 130.96, "text": "Mickey, one quick question,"}, {"start": 130.96, "end": 137.56, "text": "and I want all four colors, no thinking."}, {"start": 137.56, "end": 140.46, "text": "What's your relationship with your ex?"}, {"start": 140.46, "end": 142.56, "text": "My way, my schedule, my rules,"}, {"start": 142.56, "end": 148.58, "text": "plus a laminated list of your areas for great."}, {"start": 148.58, "end": 150.72, "text": "Give me a whiteboard in 40 minutes"}, {"start": 150.72, "end": 152.78, "text": "and I'll prove we never should have met."}, {"start": 152.78, "end": 157.57, "text": "Romantic, right."}, {"start": 157.57, "end": 159.93, "text": "I love everything you love instantly,"}, {"start": 159.93, "end": 165.8, "text": "and I've forgotten I loved the opposite yesterday."}, {"start": 165.8, "end": 167.54, "text": "I'll remember every word you said"}, {"start": 167.54, "end": 171.28, "text": "and bring it up cheerfully at our imaginary wedding."}, {"start": 171.28, "end": 175.81, "text": "Oh, Mickey buddy run now."}, {"start": 175.81, "end": 182.78, "text": "Ha, ha, ha."}, {"start": 182.78, "end": 184.38, "text": "Now we flip it ladies turn,"}, {"start": 184.38, "end": 186.62, "text": "our open mic bachelorette Big Mama."}, {"start": 186.62, "end": 189.06, "text": "Fellas, you're on the line, and yes, we know your colors."}, {"start": 189.06, "end": 196.2, "text": "Big Mama fire away."}, {"start": 196.2, "end": 198.96, "text": "Describe yourself in three words."}, {"start": 198.96, "end": 204.62, "text": "Blaze a red the protector."}, {"start": 204.62, "end": 206.14, "text": "I don't ask, I organize."}, {"start": 206.14, "end": 215.55, "text": "Your life's a mess and I'm the upgrade you didn't approve."}, {"start": 215.55, "end": 221.18, "text": "Logan, agreeing the thinker."}, {"start": 221.18, "end": 224.02, "text": "I've run the simulations in most of them you leave,"}, {"start": 224.02, "end": 231.66, "text": "but two of them are lovely."}, {"start": 231.66, "end": 233.1, "text": "Big Mama, you still in."}, {"start": 233.1, "end": 235.3, "text": "Brave woman, one more."}, {"start": 235.3, "end": 235.82, "text": "You."}, {"start": 235.82, "end": 238.06, "text": "Ha, ha, ha, ha."}, {"start": 238.06, "end": 240.22, "text": "What's your deal breaker?"}, {"start": 240.22, "end": 245.78, "text": "Corya blew the chameleon."}, {"start": 245.78, "end": 249.34, "text": "My ex said I had no personality, so did her ex."}, {"start": 249.34, "end": 250.5, "text": "We all agreed."}, {"start": 250.5, "end": 258.09, "text": "We are so agreeable."}, {"start": 258.09, "end": 263.72, "text": "Hugo, a yellow, the hugger."}, {"start": 263.72, "end": 265.76, "text": "My love language is all of them."}, {"start": 265.76, "end": 275.59, "text": "At once, loudly, with a scrapbook of us I already made."}, {"start": 275.59, "end": 277.07, "text": "Speed round, fellas."}, {"start": 277.07, "end": 284.38, "text": "Big Mama hit him fast all four colors, Geo."}, {"start": 284.38, "end": 287.26, "text": "How do you plan a vacation together?"}, {"start": 287.26, "end": 290.5, "text": "Give me one week and your whole life has a chain of command."}, {"start": 290.5, "end": 295.27, "text": "You're welcome, soldier."}, {"start": 295.27, "end": 297.19, "text": "I'll need three to five business days"}, {"start": 297.19, "end": 303.07, "text": "to draft a thoughtful response with footnotes."}, {"start": 303.07, "end": 305.27, "text": "Wherever you are, I'll be there nodding."}, {"start": 305.27, "end": 306.15, "text": "What are we doing?"}, {"start": 306.15, "end": 306.79, "text": "I'm in."}, {"start": 306.79, "end": 311.26, "text": "What are we doing?"}, {"start": 311.26, "end": 312.86, "text": "I don't have red flags."}, {"start": 312.86, "end": 319.76, "text": "I have a heart that texts you up to the whole contact list."}, {"start": 319.8, "end": 323.56, "text": "Big Mama, the bar was on the floor and they brought a shovel."}, {"start": 323.56, "end": 332.06, "text": "And now, the moment the whole internet's been waiting for,"}, {"start": 332.06, "end": 339.7, "text": "who's dating WHO?"}, {"start": 339.7, "end": 342.42, "text": "Mickey, you're going home with Sonny, a yellow hugger."}, {"start": 342.42, "end": 345.94, "text": "You'll be loved so hard and so loud the neighbors need therapy."}, {"start": 345.94, "end": 354.26, "text": "Bring tissues and a backup heart."}, {"start": 354.26, "end": 357.5, "text": "And Big Mama, you matched with Cory, a blue chameleon."}, {"start": 357.5, "end": 359.54, "text": "There'll be everything you ever wanted today"}, {"start": 359.54, "end": 362.02, "text": "and everything somebody else wanted tomorrow."}, {"start": 362.02, "end": 370.74, "text": "Hold on loosely."}, {"start": 370.74, "end": 373.22, "text": "And me, I hosted the whole thing, matched everybody"}, {"start": 373.22, "end": 376.38, "text": "and I'm still going home to three dogs in a haunted stove."}, {"start": 376.38, "end": 378.86, "text": "The host always wins even alone."}, {"start": 378.86, "end": 381.78, "text": "Go find your color at fourcolorquiz.com."}, {"start": 381.78, "end": 383.14, "text": "Last laughs mine."}, {"start": 383.14, "end": 389.36, "text": "LAUGHTER"}, {"start": 389.36, "end": 391.12, "text": "That's the red line dating game"}, {"start": 391.12, "end": 393.88, "text": "where the only stable match is Jesse and his dogs."}, {"start": 393.88, "end": 396.28, "text": "Take the four color quiz, find your crazy,"}, {"start": 396.28, "end": 398.32, "text": "and tell them bomb.app sent you."}, {"start": 398.32, "end": 399.52, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLights up. It's the red line dating game. The only show where your personality is the punch line brought to you by the four colors. Find out you're crazy at fourcolorquiz.com, your hosts, the legend Jesse and me. Welcome you beautiful disasters. Tonight from our open mic, two comics are looking for love. Here's the game. Our fellow's ask our ladies answer and every answer is powered by their four color personality. Red protects green over things. Blue can't pick yellow won't stop hugging. Let's find some crazy. First up our open mic, Bachelor Mickey. On the line, four mystery ladies. Mickey hit him with question one. Where do you see us in five years? Scarlett a red the protector. Simple I already booked it, chose your outfit and informed your mother. It's handled. Ivy agreeing the thinker. Romance to me is a well-sighted pros and cons list in a long calm terrifying silence. Oh, Mickey, you sweating yet? One more. What does commitment mean to you? Azure blue the chameleon. Honestly, whatever you want. I don't have opinions anymore. I have your opinions now. Oh, sunny a yellow the hugger. I don't have red flags. I have a heart that texts you up to the whole contact list. Speed round ladies. Mickey, one quick question, and I want all four colors, no thinking. What's your relationship with your ex? My way, my schedule, my rules, plus a laminated list of your areas for great. Give me a whiteboard in 40 minutes and I'll prove we never should have met. Romantic, right. I love everything you love instantly, and I've forgotten I loved the opposite yesterday. I'll remember every word you said and bring it up cheerfully at our imaginary wedding. Oh, Mickey buddy run now. Ha, ha, ha. Now we flip it ladies turn, our open mic bachelorette Big Mama. Fellas, you're on the line, and yes, we know your colors. Big Mama fire away. Describe yourself in three words. Blaze a red the protector. I don't ask, I organize. Your life's a mess and I'm the upgrade you didn't approve. Logan, agreeing the thinker. I've run the simulations in most of them you leave, but two of them are lovely. Big Mama, you still in. Brave woman, one more. You. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What's your deal breaker? Corya blew the chameleon. My ex said I had no personality, so did her ex. We all agreed. We are so agreeable. Hugo, a yellow, the hugger. My love language is all of them. At once, loudly, with a scrapbook of us I already made. Speed round, fellas. Big Mama hit him fast all four colors, Geo. How do you plan a vacation together? Give me one week and your whole life has a chain of command. You're welcome, soldier. I'll need three to five business days to draft a thoughtful response with footnotes. Wherever you are, I'll be there nodding. What are we doing? I'm in. What are we doing? I don't have red flags. I have a heart that texts you up to the whole contact list. Big Mama, the bar was on the floor and they brought a shovel. And now, the moment the whole internet's been waiting for, who's dating WHO? Mickey, you're going home with Sonny, a yellow hugger. You'll be loved so hard and so loud the neighbors need therapy. Bring tissues and a backup heart. And Big Mama, you matched with Cory, a blue chameleon. There'll be everything you ever wanted today and everything somebody else wanted tomorrow. Hold on loosely. And me, I hosted the whole thing, matched everybody and I'm still going home to three dogs in a haunted stove. The host always wins even alone. Go find your color at fourcolorquiz.com. Last laughs mine. LAUGHTER That's the red line dating game where the only stable match is Jesse and his dogs. Take the four color quiz, find your crazy, and tell them bomb.app sent you. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}