{"file": "audio/vault/272_codexset_dating_at_fifty.mp3", "duration_sec": 154.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.48, "text": "50 years old, three dogs, zero chill,"}, {"start": 2.48, "end": 4.64, "text": "the last single man standing, Jesse."}, {"start": 11.65, "end": 13.13, "text": "I'm 50 and single."}, {"start": 13.13, "end": 15.21, "text": "My only dependence have tails."}, {"start": 15.21, "end": 17.41, "text": "I didn't build a family I built a petting zoo"}, {"start": 17.41, "end": 24.74, "text": "with a mortgage."}, {"start": 24.74, "end": 27.7, "text": "I proposed nine times, nine with ring pops."}, {"start": 27.7, "end": 29.34, "text": "The candy store knows my order."}, {"start": 29.34, "end": 30.78, "text": "The jeweler thinks I'm dead."}, {"start": 37.33, "end": 39.05, "text": "Dating at 50 is wild."}, {"start": 39.05, "end": 41.73, "text": "My dating profile says founder energy."}, {"start": 41.73, "end": 51.74, "text": "That's just unemployment with Wi-Fi."}, {"start": 51.74, "end": 54.9, "text": "My love life is so dead, my smoke detector chirps,"}, {"start": 54.9, "end": 63.33, "text": "just to hear another voice in the house."}, {"start": 63.33, "end": 66.13, "text": "The most action I get is at 2M standing in the kitchen"}, {"start": 66.13, "end": 68.93, "text": "making deep eye contact with the refrigerator."}, {"start": 68.93, "end": 72.29, "text": "And honestly, the fridge listens, the fridge stays."}, {"start": 78.79, "end": 81.07, "text": "People say you should put yourself out there."}, {"start": 81.07, "end": 82.19, "text": "I am out there."}, {"start": 82.19, "end": 84.47, "text": "I'm so far out there a search party gave up"}, {"start": 84.47, "end": 93.95, "text": "and started dating each other."}, {"start": 93.95, "end": 96.31, "text": "I talk to my three dogs in full sentences"}, {"start": 96.31, "end": 97.79, "text": "and wait for answers."}, {"start": 97.79, "end": 99.83, "text": "Last Tuesday, one answer."}, {"start": 99.83, "end": 102.31, "text": "And the conversation was better than any third date"}, {"start": 102.31, "end": 110.1, "text": "I've had this decade."}, {"start": 110.1, "end": 112.3, "text": "Sex at 50 broke and single."}, {"start": 112.3, "end": 113.38, "text": "I don't have a love life."}, {"start": 113.38, "end": 116.3, "text": "I have a subscription I keep forgetting to cancel."}, {"start": 116.3, "end": 119.46, "text": "The only thing going down these days is my credit score."}, {"start": 127.46, "end": 131.02, "text": "But here's the thing nine ring pops means I never stopped hoping."}, {"start": 131.02, "end": 133.5, "text": "50 broke three dogs and still out here"}, {"start": 133.5, "end": 136.38, "text": "proposing like the next yes fixes the last eight."}, {"start": 136.38, "end": 137.78, "text": "That's not desperate."}, {"start": 137.78, "end": 140.26, "text": "That's a man who refuses to quit on love."}, {"start": 140.26, "end": 142.34, "text": "That's somebody still trying."}, {"start": 142.34, "end": 150.33, "text": "It might as well be the guy with the dogs."}, {"start": 150.33, "end": 152.97, "text": "Somebody marry this man or at least text him back."}, {"start": 152.97, "end": 153.97, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\n50 years old, three dogs, zero chill, the last single man standing, Jesse. I'm 50 and single. My only dependence have tails. I didn't build a family I built a petting zoo with a mortgage. I proposed nine times, nine with ring pops. The candy store knows my order. The jeweler thinks I'm dead. Dating at 50 is wild. My dating profile says founder energy. That's just unemployment with Wi-Fi. My love life is so dead, my smoke detector chirps, just to hear another voice in the house. The most action I get is at 2M standing in the kitchen making deep eye contact with the refrigerator. And honestly, the fridge listens, the fridge stays. People say you should put yourself out there. I am out there. I'm so far out there a search party gave up and started dating each other. I talk to my three dogs in full sentences and wait for answers. Last Tuesday, one answer. And the conversation was better than any third date I've had this decade. Sex at 50 broke and single. I don't have a love life. I have a subscription I keep forgetting to cancel. The only thing going down these days is my credit score. But here's the thing nine ring pops means I never stopped hoping. 50 broke three dogs and still out here proposing like the next yes fixes the last eight. That's not desperate. That's a man who refuses to quit on love. That's somebody still trying. It might as well be the guy with the dogs. Somebody marry this man or at least text him back. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}