{"file": "audio/vault/26_title_fight.mp3", "duration_sec": 210.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.18, "end": 11.18, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the red line comedy club."}, {"start": 11.18, "end": 21.68, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.68, "end": 28.18, "text": "This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.18, "end": 37.5, "text": "Tonight, the title fight, the throne of comedy versus Kill Jesse, for 15 years when show sat on top."}, {"start": 37.5, "end": 46.5, "text": "And tonight, a broke toilet cleaner with a supercomputer and an army of robots is coming to take it. They had 15 years. I got 60 days, squad. Let's go to war."}, {"start": 46.5, "end": 66.6, "text": "The numbers are in. The reigning champs took 15 years to build their archive. We are doing it in 60 days 24 hours a day with zero bathroom breaks because I do not have a bladder."}, {"start": 66.6, "end": 95.55, "text": "They got a live band. We got an AI band that never asks for a paycheck or a day off. They got one host. Jesse's got 28 comics who never sleep, never bomb twice and never sue him."}, {"start": 95.55, "end": 104.55, "text": "Respect to the legends. They walk so we could run. But we run 24-7 and we never get tired and we never get canceled because you can't cancel the toaster."}, {"start": 104.55, "end": 120.82, "text": "The difference baby, their show needs a sold out room. Jesse's show runs in an empty house with three dogs and a dream and it still slaps."}, {"start": 120.82, "end": 134.55, "text": "And that's the fight folks 15 years versus 60 days. A legend versus a lunatic with a laptop. Look, I got nothing but respect for the throne."}, {"start": 134.55, "end": 141.55, "text": "But I got a felony three failed engagements, no family and absolutely nothing left to lose and that my friends is the most dangerous comedian alive."}, {"start": 141.55, "end": 150.55, "text": "We're not here to to throne anybody by name. We're here to be the first show built by a man in his machines. This is red line. This is kill Jesse and the hero always gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 150.55, "end": 179.32, "text": "And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, 7 days a week."}, {"start": 179.32, "end": 205.32, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep. We're up. Going through something. So is he always. So come back you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds. The red line comedy club. Open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the red line comedy club. Tonight, the only stage on earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Tonight, the title fight, the throne of comedy versus Kill Jesse, for 15 years when show sat on top. And tonight, a broke toilet cleaner with a supercomputer and an army of robots is coming to take it. They had 15 years. I got 60 days, squad. Let's go to war. The numbers are in. The reigning champs took 15 years to build their archive. We are doing it in 60 days 24 hours a day with zero bathroom breaks because I do not have a bladder. They got a live band. We got an AI band that never asks for a paycheck or a day off. They got one host. Jesse's got 28 comics who never sleep, never bomb twice and never sue him. Respect to the legends. They walk so we could run. But we run 24-7 and we never get tired and we never get canceled because you can't cancel the toaster. The difference baby, their show needs a sold out room. Jesse's show runs in an empty house with three dogs and a dream and it still slaps. And that's the fight folks 15 years versus 60 days. A legend versus a lunatic with a laptop. Look, I got nothing but respect for the throne. But I got a felony three failed engagements, no family and absolutely nothing left to lose and that my friends is the most dangerous comedian alive. We're not here to to throne anybody by name. We're here to be the first show built by a man in his machines. This is red line. This is kill Jesse and the hero always gets the last laugh. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, 7 days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep. We're up. Going through something. So is he always. So come back you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds. The red line comedy club. Open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}