{"file": "audio/vault/260_therapy_th_help.mp3", "duration_sec": 158.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.44, "text": "Pull up a folding chair and lower your standards."}, {"start": 2.44, "end": 4.16, "text": "It's Red Line Group Therapy,"}, {"start": 4.16, "end": 8.54, "text": "where the only thing licensed is the bar."}, {"start": 8.54, "end": 11.02, "text": "Welcome everyone, this is a safe space."}, {"start": 11.02, "end": 12.5, "text": "Legally I have to say that,"}, {"start": 12.5, "end": 13.98, "text": "nothing here is confidential,"}, {"start": 13.98, "end": 20.26, "text": "and I take notes for my act who wants to start."}, {"start": 20.26, "end": 23.26, "text": "I rehearse arguments with my ex in the shower,"}, {"start": 23.26, "end": 33.43, "text": "and I lose to a woman who isn't there, to a drain."}, {"start": 33.43, "end": 36.55, "text": "And how does the drain make you feel never mind next?"}, {"start": 40.82, "end": 42.86, "text": "I clapped when a stranger's relationship"}, {"start": 42.86, "end": 46.02, "text": "ended at the next table with my whole chest."}, {"start": 46.02, "end": 55.2, "text": "I don't know them, I just know joy."}, {"start": 55.2, "end": 58.04, "text": "I've been hidden in my car after work for 20 years."}, {"start": 58.04, "end": 61.32, "text": "Engine off, just a man remembering he had dreams."}, {"start": 61.32, "end": 69.98, "text": "Then I go in and ask where my jacket is."}, {"start": 69.98, "end": 72.74, "text": "Fine, I talked to my three dogs in full sentences"}, {"start": 72.74, "end": 74.9, "text": "and last Tuesday one answered."}, {"start": 74.9, "end": 76.46, "text": "We're not telling the vet,"}, {"start": 76.46, "end": 78.34, "text": "and I'm the most stable one in this circle,"}, {"start": 78.34, "end": 80.18, "text": "which should terrify every one of you."}, {"start": 86.7, "end": 88.78, "text": "Break through my professional diagnosis,"}, {"start": 88.78, "end": 91.54, "text": "you're all incurable, and that's $200 each."}, {"start": 91.54, "end": 98.94, "text": "The hero as usual wins group same time next week."}, {"start": 98.94, "end": 101.38, "text": "Hold up before we wrap open mic lightning."}, {"start": 101.38, "end": 107.73, "text": "Bench roast me go go geo."}, {"start": 107.73, "end": 110.41, "text": "Jesse's group of friends is a five star review"}, {"start": 110.41, "end": 111.69, "text": "he wrote for himself."}, {"start": 115.33, "end": 118.49, "text": "Jesse fought a cat's worth of hair all day, came home,"}, {"start": 118.49, "end": 126.65, "text": "and three dogs added their resignation letters to the pile."}, {"start": 126.65, "end": 128.69, "text": "Jesse's idea of self-care is arguing"}, {"start": 128.69, "end": 135.34, "text": "with the self-checkout and losing."}, {"start": 135.34, "end": 137.98, "text": "Ha, get out of here, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 137.98, "end": 146.01, "text": "I walked into every one of those."}, {"start": 146.01, "end": 148.85, "text": "Therapy adjourned, you're not fixed, you're featured."}, {"start": 148.85, "end": 151.21, "text": "Red line group therapy, kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nPull up a folding chair and lower your standards. It's Red Line Group Therapy, where the only thing licensed is the bar. Welcome everyone, this is a safe space. Legally I have to say that, nothing here is confidential, and I take notes for my act who wants to start. I rehearse arguments with my ex in the shower, and I lose to a woman who isn't there, to a drain. And how does the drain make you feel never mind next? I clapped when a stranger's relationship ended at the next table with my whole chest. I don't know them, I just know joy. I've been hidden in my car after work for 20 years. Engine off, just a man remembering he had dreams. Then I go in and ask where my jacket is. Fine, I talked to my three dogs in full sentences and last Tuesday one answered. We're not telling the vet, and I'm the most stable one in this circle, which should terrify every one of you. Break through my professional diagnosis, you're all incurable, and that's $200 each. The hero as usual wins group same time next week. Hold up before we wrap open mic lightning. Bench roast me go go geo. Jesse's group of friends is a five star review he wrote for himself. Jesse fought a cat's worth of hair all day, came home, and three dogs added their resignation letters to the pile. Jesse's idea of self-care is arguing with the self-checkout and losing. Ha, get out of here, you beautiful degenerates. I walked into every one of those. Therapy adjourned, you're not fixed, you're featured. Red line group therapy, kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}