{"file": "audio/vault/24_work_vs_self_employed.mp3", "duration_sec": 179.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 3.8, "text": "Adults only."}, {"start": 3.8, "end": 5.54, "text": "No kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.24, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.24, "end": 10.24, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.24, "end": 12.84, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis"}, {"start": 12.84, "end": 16.68, "text": "on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.68, "end": 20.44, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.44, "end": 24.12, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.12, "end": 25.36, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 25.36, "end": 27.92, "text": "Tonight 9 to 5 versus self-employed."}, {"start": 27.92, "end": 30.08, "text": "I've done both and I chose self-employed,"}, {"start": 30.08, "end": 32.68, "text": "which means I quit having a boss so I could clean toilets"}, {"start": 32.68, "end": 34.16, "text": "on my own schedule."}, {"start": 34.16, "end": 35.52, "text": "I'm living the dream."}, {"start": 35.52, "end": 37.48, "text": "The dream just smells terrible."}, {"start": 37.48, "end": 39.36, "text": "Cubicle clowns come at me."}, {"start": 39.36, "end": 45.3, "text": "Doc Burn, you got a boss, fire."}, {"start": 45.3, "end": 47.58, "text": "Jesse, you're self-employed cleaning toilets."}, {"start": 47.58, "end": 51.5, "text": "So you're the CEO, the janitor, and the guy who gets dumped on all in one."}, {"start": 51.5, "end": 52.58, "text": "That's not a business."}, {"start": 52.58, "end": 64.42, "text": "That's a one-man hostage situation."}, {"start": 64.42, "end": 67.26, "text": "Doc Burn, you got a boss who emails you on a Sunday,"}, {"start": 67.26, "end": 70.18, "text": "and a 401k you'll never live to see."}, {"start": 70.18, "end": 72.98, "text": "You traded your whole life for a chair and a lanyard."}, {"start": 72.98, "end": 82.26, "text": "At least when I'm getting dumped on, it's literal, and it pays."}, {"start": 82.26, "end": 84.38, "text": "I work 9 to 5, Jesse."}, {"start": 84.38, "end": 87.1, "text": "Sure, I hate it, but I get weekend."}, {"start": 87.1, "end": 96.09, "text": "Your self-employed, which means you work 24-7 for an asshole who is also you."}, {"start": 96.09, "end": 97.21, "text": "Shit."}, {"start": 97.21, "end": 98.33, "text": "I'm self-employed too."}, {"start": 98.33, "end": 100.73, "text": "I made 4 million on an app that does nothing."}, {"start": 100.73, "end": 112.06, "text": "Jesse made an empire scrubbing the one thing nobody else will touch, respect, but also you."}, {"start": 112.06, "end": 115.3, "text": "Jesse, you left a steady paycheck to be your own boss,"}, {"start": 115.3, "end": 118.82, "text": "and your own boss makes you clean strangers bathrooms."}, {"start": 118.82, "end": 121.1, "text": "You didn't escape the rat race, baby."}, {"start": 121.1, "end": 123.34, "text": "You became the rat and the cage."}, {"start": 123.34, "end": 130.23, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 130.23, "end": 136.11, "text": "9 to 5 self-employed, one of you answers to a boss, the other one is the boss and still gets yelled at by yourself."}, {"start": 136.11, "end": 140.15, "text": "Truth is, I gave up a paycheck and a pension to scrub toilets on my own terms."}, {"start": 140.15, "end": 140.95, "text": "And you know what?"}, {"start": 140.95, "end": 142.75, "text": "Every throne I clean is mine to clean."}, {"start": 142.75, "end": 145.43, "text": "I'm broke, I'm tired, and I built every bit of it myself."}, {"start": 145.43, "end": 147.91, "text": "That's not failure, that's freedom with a mom."}, {"start": 147.91, "end": 149.43, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 149.43, "end": 157.42, "text": "This is Red Line, Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 157.42, "end": 158.74, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 158.74, "end": 159.98, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 159.98, "end": 164.58, "text": "New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month."}, {"start": 164.58, "end": 167.78, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days."}, {"start": 167.78, "end": 172.66, "text": "So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 172.66, "end": 175.54, "text": "Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 175.54, "end": 177.22, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 177.22, "end": 178.74, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only. No kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Tonight 9 to 5 versus self-employed. I've done both and I chose self-employed, which means I quit having a boss so I could clean toilets on my own schedule. I'm living the dream. The dream just smells terrible. Cubicle clowns come at me. Doc Burn, you got a boss, fire. Jesse, you're self-employed cleaning toilets. So you're the CEO, the janitor, and the guy who gets dumped on all in one. That's not a business. That's a one-man hostage situation. Doc Burn, you got a boss who emails you on a Sunday, and a 401k you'll never live to see. You traded your whole life for a chair and a lanyard. At least when I'm getting dumped on, it's literal, and it pays. I work 9 to 5, Jesse. Sure, I hate it, but I get weekend. Your self-employed, which means you work 24-7 for an asshole who is also you. Shit. I'm self-employed too. I made 4 million on an app that does nothing. Jesse made an empire scrubbing the one thing nobody else will touch, respect, but also you. Jesse, you left a steady paycheck to be your own boss, and your own boss makes you clean strangers bathrooms. You didn't escape the rat race, baby. You became the rat and the cage. And that's the war, folks. 9 to 5 self-employed, one of you answers to a boss, the other one is the boss and still gets yelled at by yourself. Truth is, I gave up a paycheck and a pension to scrub toilets on my own terms. And you know what? Every throne I clean is mine to clean. I'm broke, I'm tired, and I built every bit of it myself. That's not failure, that's freedom with a mom. The hero gets the last laugh. This is Red Line, Kill Jesse. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7 and a two-hour Kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days. So come back tomorrow and the day after because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}