{"file": "audio/vault/246_hotline_ho_love.mp3", "duration_sec": 90.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.0, "text": "You're listening to the red line hotline,"}, {"start": 2.0, "end": 4.92, "text": "where the advice is free and worth even less."}, {"start": 4.92, "end": 5.96, "text": "Lines are open."}, {"start": 5.96, "end": 9.12, "text": "Caller 1, you're on with the worst help money can't buy."}, {"start": 11.2, "end": 13.44, "text": "Hi, yeah, I've been dating someone six months,"}, {"start": 13.44, "end": 15.96, "text": "and I think I love them, but I'm scared to say it."}, {"start": 15.96, "end": 17.16, "text": "What do I do?"}, {"start": 19.93, "end": 22.09, "text": "Easy, don't say it."}, {"start": 22.09, "end": 23.13, "text": "Move."}, {"start": 23.13, "end": 24.21, "text": "New city."}, {"start": 24.21, "end": 25.77, "text": "New name."}, {"start": 25.77, "end": 28.97, "text": "Love is just a trap with good lighting."}, {"start": 28.97, "end": 30.69, "text": "You want to feel something?"}, {"start": 30.69, "end": 32.21, "text": "Get a dog."}, {"start": 32.21, "end": 41.77, "text": "It can't break up with you legally."}, {"start": 41.77, "end": 44.33, "text": "Honey, tell them you love them by screaming it"}, {"start": 44.33, "end": 47.09, "text": "in a crowded restaurant, so they can't say it back"}, {"start": 47.09, "end": 48.57, "text": "without witnesses."}, {"start": 48.57, "end": 58.3, "text": "That's not love, that strategy."}, {"start": 58.3, "end": 59.54, "text": "OK, ignore both of them."}, {"start": 59.54, "end": 60.98, "text": "They're banned from love."}, {"start": 60.98, "end": 62.22, "text": "Caller, here's the real one."}, {"start": 62.22, "end": 63.82, "text": "Say it, out loud."}, {"start": 63.82, "end": 66.5, "text": "Worst case you proposed nine times with candy like me"}, {"start": 66.5, "end": 68.78, "text": "and built a comedy club out of the heartbreak."}, {"start": 68.78, "end": 70.1, "text": "You don't lose by loving."}, {"start": 70.1, "end": 71.94, "text": "You only lose by faking the call."}, {"start": 71.94, "end": 80.94, "text": "Last laugh, and the only good advice is mine."}, {"start": 80.94, "end": 82.06, "text": "Don't take their advice."}, {"start": 82.06, "end": 83.7, "text": "Take his red line hotline."}, {"start": 83.7, "end": 84.7, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nYou're listening to the red line hotline, where the advice is free and worth even less. Lines are open. Caller 1, you're on with the worst help money can't buy. Hi, yeah, I've been dating someone six months, and I think I love them, but I'm scared to say it. What do I do? Easy, don't say it. Move. New city. New name. Love is just a trap with good lighting. You want to feel something? Get a dog. It can't break up with you legally. Honey, tell them you love them by screaming it in a crowded restaurant, so they can't say it back without witnesses. That's not love, that strategy. OK, ignore both of them. They're banned from love. Caller, here's the real one. Say it, out loud. Worst case you proposed nine times with candy like me and built a comedy club out of the heartbreak. You don't lose by loving. You only lose by faking the call. Last laugh, and the only good advice is mine. Don't take their advice. Take his red line hotline. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}