{"file": "audio/vault/238_confessions_cf_1.mp3", "duration_sec": 105.6, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.04, "text": "The lights are low, the truth is ugly,"}, {"start": 2.04, "end": 4.2, "text": "and the comics have something to confess."}, {"start": 4.2, "end": 10.59, "text": "Welcome to Red Line Confessions."}, {"start": 10.59, "end": 13.03, "text": "OK, OK, I confess."}, {"start": 13.03, "end": 16.11, "text": "I rehearse arguments in the shower and I lose them"}, {"start": 16.11, "end": 27.3, "text": "to a person who isn't there, to a person who dumped me in 2019."}, {"start": 27.3, "end": 30.02, "text": "I confess I clapped when a stranger's relationship"}, {"start": 30.02, "end": 33.98, "text": "ended at the next table, out loud, with feeling,"}, {"start": 33.98, "end": 43.82, "text": "I don't even know them, I just know joy."}, {"start": 43.82, "end": 45.7, "text": "I confess I've been married 20 years"}, {"start": 45.7, "end": 48.1, "text": "and I still hide in the car after I get home."}, {"start": 48.1, "end": 59.28, "text": "Engine off, just five minutes of a man remembering he had D-R-E-M-S."}, {"start": 59.28, "end": 62.56, "text": "I confess I told everybody my diets go in great."}, {"start": 62.56, "end": 64.72, "text": "Baby, the only thing I lost this month"}, {"start": 64.72, "end": 74.57, "text": "was my patience and a flip flop."}, {"start": 74.57, "end": 76.05, "text": "Fine, I confess."}, {"start": 76.05, "end": 78.33, "text": "I talk to my three dogs in full sentences"}, {"start": 78.33, "end": 79.81, "text": "and I wait for an answer."}, {"start": 79.81, "end": 82.01, "text": "And last Tuesday, one of them answered,"}, {"start": 82.01, "end": 84.29, "text": "we're not telling the vet that's between me,"}, {"start": 84.29, "end": 92.27, "text": "the dog and this microphone."}, {"start": 92.27, "end": 94.63, "text": "And on that note, the confessional is closed."}, {"start": 94.63, "end": 96.31, "text": "Forgive yourselves or don't."}, {"start": 96.31, "end": 97.19, "text": "It's funnier."}, {"start": 97.19, "end": 98.47, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nThe lights are low, the truth is ugly, and the comics have something to confess. Welcome to Red Line Confessions. OK, OK, I confess. I rehearse arguments in the shower and I lose them to a person who isn't there, to a person who dumped me in 2019. I confess I clapped when a stranger's relationship ended at the next table, out loud, with feeling, I don't even know them, I just know joy. I confess I've been married 20 years and I still hide in the car after I get home. Engine off, just five minutes of a man remembering he had D-R-E-M-S. I confess I told everybody my diets go in great. Baby, the only thing I lost this month was my patience and a flip flop. Fine, I confess. I talk to my three dogs in full sentences and I wait for an answer. And last Tuesday, one of them answered, we're not telling the vet that's between me, the dog and this microphone. And on that note, the confessional is closed. Forgive yourselves or don't. It's funnier. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}