{"file": "audio/vault/236_latenight_ln_love.mp3", "duration_sec": 107.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.2, "text": "It's past midnight, the kids are asleep,"}, {"start": 2.2, "end": 3.92, "text": "and the truth is drunk."}, {"start": 3.92, "end": 6.24, "text": "This is late night red line."}, {"start": 6.24, "end": 9.08, "text": "You're host, the only doctor who makes you feel worse."}, {"start": 9.08, "end": 15.02, "text": "Doc Burn."}, {"start": 15.02, "end": 16.9, "text": "Good evening, you beautiful insomniacs."}, {"start": 16.9, "end": 17.42, "text": "Love."}, {"start": 17.42, "end": 18.78, "text": "Let's talk about love."}, {"start": 18.78, "end": 19.9, "text": "They say love is blind."}, {"start": 19.9, "end": 29.51, "text": "Yeah, and marriage is the seeing eye dog that bites you."}, {"start": 29.51, "end": 32.15, "text": "I dated a woman who said she wanted a man who listens."}, {"start": 32.15, "end": 34.19, "text": "So I listened for three hours."}, {"start": 34.19, "end": 40.83, "text": "Turns out the right answer was a kitchen island."}, {"start": 40.83, "end": 42.75, "text": "Modern dating is just two people lying"}, {"start": 42.75, "end": 44.35, "text": "until one of them moves a couch."}, {"start": 44.35, "end": 47.19, "text": "And the apps, the apps match you by compatibility."}, {"start": 47.19, "end": 48.79, "text": "I got matched with my own ex."}, {"start": 48.79, "end": 59.14, "text": "The algorithm has a sense of humor and no mercy."}, {"start": 59.14, "end": 63.5, "text": "Take my boss, Jesse 50, single, proposed nine times with candy."}, {"start": 63.5, "end": 64.74, "text": "That's not a romantic."}, {"start": 64.74, "end": 67.42, "text": "That's a man with a sugar problem and abandonment issues"}, {"start": 67.42, "end": 68.5, "text": "holding hands."}, {"start": 68.5, "end": 72.39, "text": "Ah!"}, {"start": 72.39, "end": 74.99, "text": "Hey, those ring pops were a commitment."}, {"start": 74.99, "end": 78.23, "text": "They last longer than most of my relationships did."}, {"start": 78.23, "end": 87.78, "text": "At least the candy never told me I wasn't where it needed to be."}, {"start": 87.78, "end": 89.18, "text": "And that's why he's the boss."}, {"start": 89.18, "end": 90.94, "text": "Good night, you gorgeous disasters."}, {"start": 90.94, "end": 95.78, "text": "Love hard, lawyer up."}, {"start": 95.78, "end": 97.94, "text": "You've been watching late night red line."}, {"start": 97.94, "end": 99.14, "text": "Tip your therapist."}, {"start": 99.14, "end": 100.18, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIt's past midnight, the kids are asleep, and the truth is drunk. This is late night red line. You're host, the only doctor who makes you feel worse. Doc Burn. Good evening, you beautiful insomniacs. Love. Let's talk about love. They say love is blind. Yeah, and marriage is the seeing eye dog that bites you. I dated a woman who said she wanted a man who listens. So I listened for three hours. Turns out the right answer was a kitchen island. Modern dating is just two people lying until one of them moves a couch. And the apps, the apps match you by compatibility. I got matched with my own ex. The algorithm has a sense of humor and no mercy. Take my boss, Jesse 50, single, proposed nine times with candy. That's not a romantic. That's a man with a sugar problem and abandonment issues holding hands. Ah! Hey, those ring pops were a commitment. They last longer than most of my relationships did. At least the candy never told me I wasn't where it needed to be. And that's why he's the boss. Good night, you gorgeous disasters. Love hard, lawyer up. You've been watching late night red line. Tip your therapist. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}