{"file": "audio/vault/22_rich_vs_poor.mp3", "duration_sec": 163.4, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 5.54, "text": "Adults only, no kids, no mercy."}, {"start": 5.54, "end": 8.24, "text": "For 15 years, one show ruled comedy."}, {"start": 8.24, "end": 10.24, "text": "Tonight, we come for the crown."}, {"start": 10.24, "end": 13.88, "text": "This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer"}, {"start": 13.88, "end": 16.68, "text": "24 hours a day, seven days a week."}, {"start": 16.68, "end": 20.44, "text": "We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years."}, {"start": 20.44, "end": 24.12, "text": "Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh."}, {"start": 24.12, "end": 25.36, "text": "Jesse!"}, {"start": 25.36, "end": 28.36, "text": "Tonight Rich versus Poor, and I'm captain of Team Broke."}, {"start": 28.36, "end": 31.12, "text": "I'm not poor, I'm pre-rich, and I've been pre-rich for 50 years"}, {"start": 31.12, "end": 32.64, "text": "and four credit cards."}, {"start": 32.64, "end": 36.08, "text": "My bank app doesn't show a balance anymore, it just shows a tear."}, {"start": 36.08, "end": 37.88, "text": "Rich folks flex on me."}, {"start": 37.88, "end": 43.46, "text": "Nigel, you snob fire."}, {"start": 43.46, "end": 46.3, "text": "Jesse, you're so broke, your wallet has a chalk outline."}, {"start": 46.3, "end": 49.42, "text": "You don't have a savings account, you have a savings concept."}, {"start": 49.42, "end": 61.54, "text": "The closest you'll get to wealthy is standing next to me."}, {"start": 61.54, "end": 64.74, "text": "Nigel, you inherited everything, which means you've never earned"}, {"start": 64.74, "end": 68.22, "text": "a single thing except the resentment of everyone who has."}, {"start": 68.22, "end": 77.59, "text": "I'm in debt, but at least my failures have my name on them."}, {"start": 77.59, "end": 80.51, "text": "I made four million dollars on an app that does nothing."}, {"start": 80.51, "end": 88.68, "text": "Jesse, your whole empire runs on a supercomputer you can barely afford to plug in."}, {"start": 88.68, "end": 91.64, "text": "Triff, you got money but no sold son."}, {"start": 91.64, "end": 95.88, "text": "I've been poor 81 years, and let me tell you rich people aren't happier,"}, {"start": 95.88, "end": 103.93, "text": "they just cry in nicer cars."}, {"start": 103.93, "end": 105.69, "text": "I'm broke too, Jesse."}, {"start": 105.69, "end": 114.12, "text": "My credit score and my body count are the same number, and they're both embarrassing."}, {"start": 114.12, "end": 115.32, "text": "Shit."}, {"start": 115.32, "end": 116.68, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 116.68, "end": 118.6, "text": "Rich poor, one of you can't sleep from worry,"}, {"start": 118.6, "end": 122.64, "text": "the other can't sleep on a mattress made of money, and we all die owing somebody."}, {"start": 122.64, "end": 127.2, "text": "Truth is, I'm 50 grand in debt, and the only thing I own outright is my mistakes."}, {"start": 127.2, "end": 131.8, "text": "But I turned being broken to a business, so technically I'm the richest poor man you'll ever meet."}, {"start": 131.8, "end": 133.48, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 133.48, "end": 134.84, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 134.84, "end": 141.78, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 141.78, "end": 143.06, "text": "That's our show."}, {"start": 143.06, "end": 144.3, "text": "But we never stop."}, {"start": 144.3, "end": 148.86, "text": "New comedy 24-7, and a two-hour kill Jesse special four times a month."}, {"start": 148.86, "end": 154.06, "text": "We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days, so come back tomorrow and the day after."}, {"start": 154.06, "end": 156.86, "text": "Because at Red Line, the carnival never closes."}, {"start": 156.86, "end": 159.74, "text": "Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend."}, {"start": 159.74, "end": 161.46, "text": "This is bombed.app."}, {"start": 161.46, "end": 163.26, "text": "Good night and stay unhinged."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, welcome to Red Line Comedy Club. Adults only, no kids, no mercy. For 15 years, one show ruled comedy. Tonight, we come for the crown. This is Kill Jesse, built by Jesse Salis on a supercomputer 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We're doing in 60 days what took them 15 years. Now give it up for the man who bet his whole life on a laugh. Jesse! Tonight Rich versus Poor, and I'm captain of Team Broke. I'm not poor, I'm pre-rich, and I've been pre-rich for 50 years and four credit cards. My bank app doesn't show a balance anymore, it just shows a tear. Rich folks flex on me. Nigel, you snob fire. Jesse, you're so broke, your wallet has a chalk outline. You don't have a savings account, you have a savings concept. The closest you'll get to wealthy is standing next to me. Nigel, you inherited everything, which means you've never earned a single thing except the resentment of everyone who has. I'm in debt, but at least my failures have my name on them. I made four million dollars on an app that does nothing. Jesse, your whole empire runs on a supercomputer you can barely afford to plug in. Triff, you got money but no sold son. I've been poor 81 years, and let me tell you rich people aren't happier, they just cry in nicer cars. I'm broke too, Jesse. My credit score and my body count are the same number, and they're both embarrassing. Shit. And that's the war, folks. Rich poor, one of you can't sleep from worry, the other can't sleep on a mattress made of money, and we all die owing somebody. Truth is, I'm 50 grand in debt, and the only thing I own outright is my mistakes. But I turned being broken to a business, so technically I'm the richest poor man you'll ever meet. The hero gets the last laugh. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. That's our show. But we never stop. New comedy 24-7, and a two-hour kill Jesse special four times a month. We are beating 15 years of comedy in less than 60 days, so come back tomorrow and the day after. Because at Red Line, the carnival never closes. Subscribe, share, and tell your filthiest friend. This is bombed.app. Good night and stay unhinged.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}