{"file": "audio/vault/187_elk_grove_kid.mp3", "duration_sec": 251.1, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.04, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.04, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.24, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.24, "end": 26.74, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 26.74, "end": 28.24, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 28.24, "end": 35.08, "text": "In a world where a brown kid with the holiest name on the block"}, {"start": 35.08, "end": 37.98, "text": "grew up on the whitest street in Sacramento."}, {"start": 37.98, "end": 46.04, "text": "Red Line presents The Outsider."}, {"start": 46.04, "end": 47.64, "text": "Welcome, I roast me first."}, {"start": 47.64, "end": 50.34, "text": "I grew up in Elk Grove named after the man upstairs,"}, {"start": 50.34, "end": 54.64, "text": "the only brown kid on a street so white the HOA flagged my tan."}, {"start": 54.64, "end": 57.34, "text": "First day of school I got jumped by six kids."}, {"start": 57.34, "end": 60.34, "text": "I learned to fight and crack a joke on the way down."}, {"start": 60.34, "end": 61.74, "text": "Bring it."}, {"start": 61.74, "end": 67.26, "text": "Oh, I, Jesse."}, {"start": 67.26, "end": 72.96, "text": "You got pulled over so many times the cops started waving like you two would date."}, {"start": 72.96, "end": 74.26, "text": "Twelve stops."}, {"start": 74.26, "end": 75.76, "text": "That's not profiling."}, {"start": 75.76, "end": 78.76, "text": "That's a relationship with commitment issues."}, {"start": 86.22, "end": 88.42, "text": "No filter, no mercy, no chill."}, {"start": 88.42, "end": 90.22, "text": "All hail the Queen of the Burn Unit."}, {"start": 90.22, "end": 95.12, "text": "Queen's tank."}, {"start": 95.12, "end": 98.22, "text": "Baby, six kids jumped you when you came out of comic."}, {"start": 98.22, "end": 99.92, "text": "Most people get therapy."}, {"start": 99.92, "end": 102.92, "text": "You got a tight five and a permanent flinch."}, {"start": 109.44, "end": 110.84, "text": "Real talk, Jesse."}, {"start": 110.84, "end": 113.44, "text": "They tried to make you feel small in that town."}, {"start": 113.54, "end": 116.94, "text": "So you grew up and built a comedy empire just to be heard."}, {"start": 116.94, "end": 120.44, "text": "That's the pettiest, most beautiful revenge in California."}, {"start": 128.23, "end": 130.83, "text": "Older than your house, healthier than your group chat."}, {"start": 130.83, "end": 132.73, "text": "Grandpa's got no breaks."}, {"start": 132.73, "end": 137.07, "text": "Pops!"}, {"start": 137.07, "end": 141.87, "text": "Kid, you turned getting jumped at nine into material at 50."}, {"start": 141.87, "end": 144.77, "text": "That's a 40 year setup with a hell of a tie."}, {"start": 148.07, "end": 158.04, "text": "Baby, that name was a lot to live up to on the playground."}, {"start": 158.04, "end": 159.34, "text": "But look at you."}, {"start": 159.34, "end": 161.14, "text": "They doubted the brown kid."}, {"start": 161.14, "end": 163.04, "text": "And now the whole bench works for him."}, {"start": 163.04, "end": 165.04, "text": "Sit downtown."}, {"start": 165.04, "end": 168.04, "text": "Oh!"}, {"start": 171.64, "end": 172.64, "text": "I got one."}, {"start": 172.64, "end": 176.14, "text": "Jesse's the only man whose childhood was a hate crime and a headlining set."}, {"start": 184.8, "end": 186.2, "text": "That's the truth, folks."}, {"start": 186.2, "end": 188.7, "text": "They jumped the outsider kid and the outsider grew up"}, {"start": 188.7, "end": 191.4, "text": "fought back with punchlines and owns the room now."}, {"start": 191.4, "end": 193.0, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds."}, {"start": 193.0, "end": 194.3, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 194.3, "end": 203.35, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 203.35, "end": 205.75, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 205.75, "end": 211.75, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day."}, {"start": 211.75, "end": 213.95, "text": "A brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 213.95, "end": 219.55, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 219.55, "end": 223.05, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 223.05, "end": 224.15, "text": "Can't sleep."}, {"start": 224.15, "end": 225.05, "text": "We're up."}, {"start": 225.05, "end": 226.45, "text": "Going through something."}, {"start": 226.45, "end": 228.55, "text": "So is he always."}, {"start": 228.55, "end": 230.95, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 230.95, "end": 234.55, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 234.55, "end": 238.55, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night."}, {"start": 238.55, "end": 242.55, "text": "Because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 242.55, "end": 243.55, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 243.55, "end": 245.05, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 245.05, "end": 246.55, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. In a world where a brown kid with the holiest name on the block grew up on the whitest street in Sacramento. Red Line presents The Outsider. Welcome, I roast me first. I grew up in Elk Grove named after the man upstairs, the only brown kid on a street so white the HOA flagged my tan. First day of school I got jumped by six kids. I learned to fight and crack a joke on the way down. Bring it. Oh, I, Jesse. You got pulled over so many times the cops started waving like you two would date. Twelve stops. That's not profiling. That's a relationship with commitment issues. No filter, no mercy, no chill. All hail the Queen of the Burn Unit. Queen's tank. Baby, six kids jumped you when you came out of comic. Most people get therapy. You got a tight five and a permanent flinch. Real talk, Jesse. They tried to make you feel small in that town. So you grew up and built a comedy empire just to be heard. That's the pettiest, most beautiful revenge in California. Older than your house, healthier than your group chat. Grandpa's got no breaks. Pops! Kid, you turned getting jumped at nine into material at 50. That's a 40 year setup with a hell of a tie. Baby, that name was a lot to live up to on the playground. But look at you. They doubted the brown kid. And now the whole bench works for him. Sit downtown. Oh! I got one. Jesse's the only man whose childhood was a hate crime and a headlining set. That's the truth, folks. They jumped the outsider kid and the outsider grew up fought back with punchlines and owns the room now. Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day. A brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep. We're up. Going through something. So is he always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night. Because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}