{"file": "audio/vault/170_colors_drink_put_down.mp3", "duration_sec": 274.2, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.04, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.04, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.24, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.24, "end": 26.74, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 26.74, "end": 28.24, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 28.24, "end": 32.88, "text": "Colors of my pain."}, {"start": 32.88, "end": 34.68, "text": "Tonight, the white one."}, {"start": 34.68, "end": 36.18, "text": "The drink he put down."}, {"start": 36.28, "end": 38.08, "text": "The breakup with a liquid."}, {"start": 38.08, "end": 46.27, "text": "That ran in the family for four generations."}, {"start": 46.27, "end": 47.77, "text": "Welcome, youth-thirsty animals."}, {"start": 47.77, "end": 48.77, "text": "I roast me first."}, {"start": 48.77, "end": 52.57, "text": "I broke up with alcohol, hardest breakup of my life, and I've had nine."}, {"start": 52.57, "end": 56.27, "text": "The bottle never asked where I was, never left, and always picked up."}, {"start": 56.27, "end": 59.07, "text": "Honestly, best relationship I ever ended."}, {"start": 59.07, "end": 64.94, "text": "Bring it."}, {"start": 64.94, "end": 67.94, "text": "I just see."}, {"start": 67.94, "end": 70.64, "text": "You come from four generations of drinkers."}, {"start": 70.64, "end": 72.54, "text": "Your family tree isn't a tree."}, {"start": 72.54, "end": 74.74, "text": "It's a bar tab with leaves."}, {"start": 74.84, "end": 76.14, "text": "You didn't quit drinking."}, {"start": 76.14, "end": 79.64, "text": "You filed for independence from your own bloodline."}, {"start": 88.1, "end": 89.9, "text": "You think you beat it, Jesse?"}, {"start": 89.9, "end": 91.4, "text": "You didn't beat the bottle."}, {"start": 91.4, "end": 93.5, "text": "You took away its job."}, {"start": 94.5, "end": 95.9, "text": "The booze wasn't the problem."}, {"start": 95.9, "end": 97.5, "text": "It was the off switch."}, {"start": 97.5, "end": 99.8, "text": "And now you're a man with no off switch."}, {"start": 99.8, "end": 101.3, "text": "Wide awake at 3 a.m."}, {"start": 101.3, "end": 102.7, "text": "Feeling everything."}, {"start": 102.7, "end": 105.5, "text": "Sober as a judge and twice as miserable."}, {"start": 115.62, "end": 118.12, "text": "Baby, you got a chip for 30 days."}, {"start": 118.12, "end": 122.12, "text": "Honey, I've kept leftovers longer than that and felt prouder."}, {"start": 122.12, "end": 124.12, "text": "But you did it."}, {"start": 124.12, "end": 128.12, "text": "You're the first man in your family to choose a microphone over a bottle."}, {"start": 128.12, "end": 129.12, "text": "Sit down."}, {"start": 129.12, "end": 131.12, "text": "I'm not done being impressed and mean."}, {"start": 135.12, "end": 138.62, "text": "Real talk."}, {"start": 138.62, "end": 140.62, "text": "Every man before you drank to forget."}, {"start": 140.62, "end": 144.62, "text": "You're the one who decided to remember out loud for strangers, sober."}, {"start": 144.62, "end": 145.62, "text": "That's not recovery, Jesse."}, {"start": 145.62, "end": 148.62, "text": "That's revenge on the whole family tree."}, {"start": 156.44, "end": 158.44, "text": "No filter, no mercy, no chill."}, {"start": 158.44, "end": 161.44, "text": "All hail the queen of the burn unit, queen stank."}, {"start": 161.44, "end": 169.55, "text": "Baby, sober Jesse is just drunk Jesse's worst nightmare."}, {"start": 169.55, "end": 172.55, "text": "A man who has to feel his feelings with no chaser."}, {"start": 172.55, "end": 174.55, "text": "You traded a hangover for a personality."}, {"start": 174.55, "end": 178.55, "text": "And honey, the jury's still out on which one hurts more."}, {"start": 186.2, "end": 193.77, "text": "The personality does come with side effects."}, {"start": 193.77, "end": 194.77, "text": "I got one."}, {"start": 194.77, "end": 199.77, "text": "Jesse's been sober so long the bottle moved on, remarried and didn't invite him."}, {"start": 199.77, "end": 206.67, "text": "That's the white color, folks."}, {"start": 206.67, "end": 208.67, "text": "Four generations drank to forget."}, {"start": 208.67, "end": 213.67, "text": "I'm the one who stayed awake to remember and turned the whole family hangover into a comedy show."}, {"start": 213.67, "end": 215.67, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds."}, {"start": 215.67, "end": 216.67, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 216.67, "end": 217.67, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 217.67, "end": 228.35, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 228.35, "end": 234.35, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day."}, {"start": 234.35, "end": 236.35, "text": "A brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 236.35, "end": 239.35, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down."}, {"start": 239.35, "end": 242.35, "text": "24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 242.35, "end": 245.35, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 245.35, "end": 247.35, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 247.35, "end": 251.35, "text": "Going through something so is he always."}, {"start": 251.35, "end": 253.35, "text": "So come back you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 253.35, "end": 257.35, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 257.35, "end": 261.35, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line comedy club open all night."}, {"start": 261.35, "end": 265.35, "text": "Because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 265.35, "end": 266.35, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 266.35, "end": 267.35, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 267.35, "end": 268.35, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Colors of my pain. Tonight, the white one. The drink he put down. The breakup with a liquid. That ran in the family for four generations. Welcome, youth-thirsty animals. I roast me first. I broke up with alcohol, hardest breakup of my life, and I've had nine. The bottle never asked where I was, never left, and always picked up. Honestly, best relationship I ever ended. Bring it. I just see. You come from four generations of drinkers. Your family tree isn't a tree. It's a bar tab with leaves. You didn't quit drinking. You filed for independence from your own bloodline. You think you beat it, Jesse? You didn't beat the bottle. You took away its job. The booze wasn't the problem. It was the off switch. And now you're a man with no off switch. Wide awake at 3 a.m. Feeling everything. Sober as a judge and twice as miserable. Baby, you got a chip for 30 days. Honey, I've kept leftovers longer than that and felt prouder. But you did it. You're the first man in your family to choose a microphone over a bottle. Sit down. I'm not done being impressed and mean. Real talk. Every man before you drank to forget. You're the one who decided to remember out loud for strangers, sober. That's not recovery, Jesse. That's revenge on the whole family tree. No filter, no mercy, no chill. All hail the queen of the burn unit, queen stank. Baby, sober Jesse is just drunk Jesse's worst nightmare. A man who has to feel his feelings with no chaser. You traded a hangover for a personality. And honey, the jury's still out on which one hurts more. The personality does come with side effects. I got one. Jesse's been sober so long the bottle moved on, remarried and didn't invite him. That's the white color, folks. Four generations drank to forget. I'm the one who stayed awake to remember and turned the whole family hangover into a comedy show. Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day. A brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down. 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something so is he always. So come back you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line comedy club open all night. Because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}