{"file": "audio/vault/168_colors_one_who_got_away.mp3", "duration_sec": 259.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth with a headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.14, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.14, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 26.74, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 26.74, "end": 31.42, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 31.42, "end": 33.62, "text": "Colors of my pain continues."}, {"start": 33.62, "end": 36.22, "text": "Tonight, the blue one, the one who got away,"}, {"start": 36.22, "end": 45.85, "text": "the lock he could have opened if he hadn't been busy picking everybody else's."}, {"start": 45.85, "end": 47.85, "text": "Welcome you sentimental degenerates."}, {"start": 47.85, "end": 48.85, "text": "I roast me first."}, {"start": 48.85, "end": 51.05, "text": "There was one I'll call her the one who got away."}, {"start": 51.05, "end": 52.25, "text": "She didn't get away."}, {"start": 52.25, "end": 55.85, "text": "I opened the door, gave her directions, and offered to carry her bags."}, {"start": 55.85, "end": 56.65, "text": "Bring it."}, {"start": 56.65, "end": 64.98, "text": "I Jesse, the one who got away."}, {"start": 64.98, "end": 66.98, "text": "Palf, she didn't get away."}, {"start": 66.98, "end": 70.58, "text": "You ghosted her so smooth, you ghosted yourself."}, {"start": 70.58, "end": 73.98, "text": "You're the only man who got dumped by his own decision."}, {"start": 73.98, "end": 85.29, "text": "Baby, you can crack any woman's code."}, {"start": 85.29, "end": 87.09, "text": "You wrote a whole book on it."}, {"start": 87.09, "end": 91.49, "text": "But the one who actually loved you, you looked at the lock, you had the key, and you said,"}, {"start": 91.49, "end": 92.49, "text": "nah, too easy."}, {"start": 92.49, "end": 96.29, "text": "Honey, that's not a formula, that's a curse."}, {"start": 96.29, "end": 106.35, "text": "The one who got away, she didn't run, Jesse."}, {"start": 106.35, "end": 111.19, "text": "You handed her the exit and held the door like a gentleman."}, {"start": 111.19, "end": 112.79, "text": "You don't have a broken heart."}, {"start": 112.79, "end": 115.99, "text": "You've got a self-inflicted one with witnesses."}, {"start": 115.99, "end": 126.93, "text": "Ugh."}, {"start": 126.93, "end": 131.13, "text": "The thesis writes itself, a man who can open any lock but his own."}, {"start": 131.13, "end": 134.93, "text": "You mastered every door except the one with someone good behind it."}, {"start": 134.93, "end": 142.79, "text": "Peer reviewed by every regret you own."}, {"start": 142.79, "end": 144.99, "text": "No filter, no mercy, no chill."}, {"start": 144.99, "end": 151.7, "text": "All hail the queen of the burn unit, queen stank."}, {"start": 151.7, "end": 153.3, "text": "Baby, she's married now."}, {"start": 153.3, "end": 155.3, "text": "Two kids, happy, live in."}, {"start": 155.3, "end": 157.7, "text": "The life you wrote about and gave away."}, {"start": 157.7, "end": 159.7, "text": "You didn't lose the one who got away."}, {"start": 159.7, "end": 169.32, "text": "You gift-trapped her for somebody else."}, {"start": 169.32, "end": 176.33, "text": "That stings because it's true."}, {"start": 176.33, "end": 177.33, "text": "I got one."}, {"start": 177.33, "end": 188.63, "text": "Jesse's the only locksmith in history who broke into nine houses and locked himself out of the one home."}, {"start": 188.63, "end": 190.43, "text": "That's the blue color, folks."}, {"start": 190.43, "end": 194.43, "text": "The one who got away taught me the formula works on everybody but the one who matters."}, {"start": 194.43, "end": 199.63, "text": "I don't regret much but I regret her and I turned it into a punchline so it can't turn into a tear."}, {"start": 199.63, "end": 201.23, "text": "Laugh before the dark winds."}, {"start": 201.23, "end": 202.63, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 202.63, "end": 203.63, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 203.63, "end": 214.25, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 214.25, "end": 222.25, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 222.25, "end": 225.25, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down."}, {"start": 225.25, "end": 228.25, "text": "24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 228.25, "end": 231.25, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 231.25, "end": 233.25, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 233.25, "end": 236.25, "text": "Going through something, so is he."}, {"start": 236.25, "end": 237.25, "text": "Always."}, {"start": 237.25, "end": 239.25, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 239.25, "end": 243.25, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 243.25, "end": 246.25, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 246.25, "end": 247.25, "text": "Open all night."}, {"start": 247.25, "end": 251.25, "text": "Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 251.25, "end": 252.25, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 252.25, "end": 253.25, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 253.25, "end": 254.25, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth with a headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Colors of my pain continues. Tonight, the blue one, the one who got away, the lock he could have opened if he hadn't been busy picking everybody else's. Welcome you sentimental degenerates. I roast me first. There was one I'll call her the one who got away. She didn't get away. I opened the door, gave her directions, and offered to carry her bags. Bring it. I Jesse, the one who got away. Palf, she didn't get away. You ghosted her so smooth, you ghosted yourself. You're the only man who got dumped by his own decision. Baby, you can crack any woman's code. You wrote a whole book on it. But the one who actually loved you, you looked at the lock, you had the key, and you said, nah, too easy. Honey, that's not a formula, that's a curse. The one who got away, she didn't run, Jesse. You handed her the exit and held the door like a gentleman. You don't have a broken heart. You've got a self-inflicted one with witnesses. Ugh. The thesis writes itself, a man who can open any lock but his own. You mastered every door except the one with someone good behind it. Peer reviewed by every regret you own. No filter, no mercy, no chill. All hail the queen of the burn unit, queen stank. Baby, she's married now. Two kids, happy, live in. The life you wrote about and gave away. You didn't lose the one who got away. You gift-trapped her for somebody else. That stings because it's true. I got one. Jesse's the only locksmith in history who broke into nine houses and locked himself out of the one home. That's the blue color, folks. The one who got away taught me the formula works on everybody but the one who matters. I don't regret much but I regret her and I turned it into a punchline so it can't turn into a tear. Laugh before the dark winds. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down. 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he. Always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club. Open all night. Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}