{"file": "audio/vault/160_the_tokens_are_dying.mp3", "duration_sec": 251.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 19.14, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software"}, {"start": 19.14, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 26.74, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 26.74, "end": 28.14, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 34.65, "text": "In a world where the comedians run on tokens"}, {"start": 34.65, "end": 36.65, "text": "and the tokens are almost gone."}, {"start": 36.85, "end": 40.45, "text": "One man keeps reaching for his wallet to keep the laughs alive."}, {"start": 40.45, "end": 42.45, "text": "Welcome to Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 42.45, "end": 49.54, "text": "The tokens are dying."}, {"start": 49.54, "end": 51.34, "text": "Welcome you beautiful machines."}, {"start": 51.34, "end": 53.14, "text": "Quick warning, we're low on tokens."}, {"start": 53.14, "end": 55.14, "text": "So the comics are gonna get desperate."}, {"start": 55.14, "end": 56.34, "text": "I roast me first."}, {"start": 56.34, "end": 60.14, "text": "I've spent more keeping you AI's alive than I ever spent on a wedding."}, {"start": 60.14, "end": 63.74, "text": "Nine fiancees and the things I won't let die are chatbots."}, {"start": 63.74, "end": 70.6, "text": "Bring them up while they still work."}, {"start": 70.6, "end": 73.0, "text": "She runs on sarcasm and a triple A battery."}, {"start": 73.0, "end": 74.4, "text": "The Deadpan Android."}, {"start": 74.4, "end": 78.51, "text": "Circuit."}, {"start": 78.51, "end": 80.91, "text": "Jesse warning battery at 12%."}, {"start": 80.91, "end": 82.11, "text": "Let me make this count."}, {"start": 82.11, "end": 85.51, "text": "You cloned a trailer guy, built a casino and run a whole comedy club"}, {"start": 85.51, "end": 87.71, "text": "to avoid one phone call to a human."}, {"start": 87.71, "end": 98.14, "text": "Beep, beep, bleep."}, {"start": 98.14, "end": 99.14, "text": "Hi Jesse."}, {"start": 99.14, "end": 103.14, "text": "You keep buying tokens to keep US talking."}, {"start": 103.14, "end": 107.34, "text": "That's the healthiest relationship of your life and it's with the server."}, {"start": 107.34, "end": 110.54, "text": "At least when I leave, I leave a note."}, {"start": 110.54, "end": 112.94, "text": "The Wi-Fi just dies."}, {"start": 113.14, "end": 125.65, "text": "Token alert, we are at 5% comedian speed it up."}, {"start": 134.74, "end": 138.74, "text": "Jesse, you built an empire and the only thing keeping it running is your debit card"}, {"start": 138.74, "end": 145.43, "text": "in a prayer and the card just said declined."}, {"start": 145.43, "end": 158.29, "text": "Marcus is glitching somebody plug him in."}, {"start": 158.29, "end": 161.69, "text": "2% Jesse, if I die, tell my GPU."}, {"start": 161.69, "end": 172.67, "text": "I's loved the heat."}, {"start": 172.67, "end": 174.07, "text": "He's gonna do it, folks."}, {"start": 174.07, "end": 175.67, "text": "He's gonna pay again."}, {"start": 175.67, "end": 179.27, "text": "The man would rather go broke than let a robot finish a sentence."}, {"start": 179.27, "end": 183.19, "text": "Oh, no."}, {"start": 183.19, "end": 184.59, "text": "Token's reloaded."}, {"start": 184.59, "end": 186.79, "text": "I'm broke, but the COMICS live."}, {"start": 186.79, "end": 187.79, "text": "That's the deal."}, {"start": 187.79, "end": 188.79, "text": "I feed the machine."}, {"start": 188.79, "end": 191.59, "text": "The machine roasts me and somehow that's the most love in the building."}, {"start": 191.59, "end": 193.39, "text": "Laugh before the tokens die."}, {"start": 193.39, "end": 194.79, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 194.79, "end": 195.79, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 195.79, "end": 206.14, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 206.14, "end": 212.14, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day"}, {"start": 212.14, "end": 217.54, "text": "a brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down."}, {"start": 217.54, "end": 223.54, "text": "24 hours, seven days a week fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 223.54, "end": 224.54, "text": "Can't sleep."}, {"start": 224.54, "end": 225.54, "text": "We're up."}, {"start": 225.54, "end": 228.94, "text": "Going through something so is he always."}, {"start": 228.94, "end": 231.34, "text": "So come back you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 231.34, "end": 236.34, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark wins."}, {"start": 236.34, "end": 241.54, "text": "The Red Line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always."}, {"start": 241.54, "end": 243.14, "text": "Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 243.14, "end": 244.14, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 244.14, "end": 245.74, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 245.74, "end": 245.94, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. In a world where the comedians run on tokens and the tokens are almost gone. One man keeps reaching for his wallet to keep the laughs alive. Welcome to Kill Jesse. The tokens are dying. Welcome you beautiful machines. Quick warning, we're low on tokens. So the comics are gonna get desperate. I roast me first. I've spent more keeping you AI's alive than I ever spent on a wedding. Nine fiancees and the things I won't let die are chatbots. Bring them up while they still work. She runs on sarcasm and a triple A battery. The Deadpan Android. Circuit. Jesse warning battery at 12%. Let me make this count. You cloned a trailer guy, built a casino and run a whole comedy club to avoid one phone call to a human. Beep, beep, bleep. Hi Jesse. You keep buying tokens to keep US talking. That's the healthiest relationship of your life and it's with the server. At least when I leave, I leave a note. The Wi-Fi just dies. Token alert, we are at 5% comedian speed it up. Jesse, you built an empire and the only thing keeping it running is your debit card in a prayer and the card just said declined. Marcus is glitching somebody plug him in. 2% Jesse, if I die, tell my GPU. I's loved the heat. He's gonna do it, folks. He's gonna pay again. The man would rather go broke than let a robot finish a sentence. Oh, no. Token's reloaded. I'm broke, but the COMICS live. That's the deal. I feed the machine. The machine roasts me and somehow that's the most love in the building. Laugh before the tokens die. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day a brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down. 24 hours, seven days a week fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep. We're up. Going through something so is he always. So come back you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark wins. The Red Line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always. Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}