{"file": "audio/vault/148_truth_script.mp3", "duration_sec": 259.4, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 18.94, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software,"}, {"start": 18.94, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 33.44, "text": "Tonight, no battle, no teams."}, {"start": 33.44, "end": 37.04, "text": "Just the whole truth about Jesse and my whole crew here to bury me in it."}, {"start": 37.04, "end": 40.24, "text": "Colors of my pain, live, and uncensored, truth one."}, {"start": 40.24, "end": 42.84, "text": "I'm 50. I got a felony, three failed engagements,"}, {"start": 42.84, "end": 45.84, "text": "no family, three dogs, and a toilet cleaning empire."}, {"start": 45.84, "end": 48.84, "text": "I'm not a man. I'm a country song that learned to code."}, {"start": 48.84, "end": 51.44, "text": "Crew roast me with the truth, Mickey."}, {"start": 51.44, "end": 64.18, "text": "Next to the mic, a man whose love life has more red flags than a parade."}, {"start": 64.18, "end": 70.11, "text": "Your every man of error, Mickey!"}, {"start": 70.11, "end": 74.51, "text": "Jesse, your life is so sad. Even your dogs go to therapy."}, {"start": 74.51, "end": 84.27, "text": "You gave your pain colors and the whole box came back black."}, {"start": 84.27, "end": 87.87, "text": "Mickey, I gave my pain colors because it was cheaper than a therapist"}, {"start": 87.87, "end": 89.87, "text": "and more honest than my family."}, {"start": 89.87, "end": 97.49, "text": "No filter, no mercy, no chill."}, {"start": 97.49, "end": 104.19, "text": "All hail the Queen of the Burn Unit, Queen Stank!"}, {"start": 104.19, "end": 107.99, "text": "Jesse, you turned a felony, a dead alcoholic dad,"}, {"start": 107.99, "end": 110.59, "text": "and a mom who disowned you into content."}, {"start": 110.59, "end": 112.59, "text": "That's not healing, baby."}, {"start": 112.59, "end": 115.59, "text": "That's a hostage situation with a microphone."}, {"start": 115.59, "end": 124.66, "text": "Jesse, you got nothing left."}, {"start": 124.66, "end": 127.66, "text": "No family, no money, no wife."}, {"start": 127.66, "end": 130.86, "text": "All you got is a supercomputer and the truth."}, {"start": 130.86, "end": 134.86, "text": "And honestly, that's the most dangerous comic alive."}, {"start": 134.86, "end": 143.06, "text": "He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos."}, {"start": 143.06, "end": 146.26, "text": "The roast physician is in, Doc Burn."}, {"start": 146.26, "end": 152.66, "text": "Diagnosis, Jesse. You're a man who scrubbed enough toilets"}, {"start": 152.66, "end": 155.46, "text": "to know exactly how much of his own life is in the bowl"}, {"start": 155.46, "end": 163.46, "text": "and you still flush it into a joke."}, {"start": 163.46, "end": 166.06, "text": "And here's the whole truth, you beautiful Rex."}, {"start": 166.06, "end": 169.06, "text": "I lost the jobs, the women, the family, the dad, the years"}, {"start": 169.06, "end": 171.06, "text": "to a bottle that wasn't even mine."}, {"start": 171.06, "end": 173.46, "text": "I cleaned toilets and I cleaned up M.Y. act"}, {"start": 173.46, "end": 175.46, "text": "and I built something out of the wreckage."}, {"start": 175.46, "end": 177.46, "text": "Colors of my pain isn't a website."}, {"start": 177.46, "end": 179.86, "text": "It's the receipt for every color I survived."}, {"start": 179.86, "end": 184.06, "text": "Black for my dad, blue for the nights, green for the broke."}, {"start": 184.06, "end": 186.26, "text": "And red for tonight because I'm still here laughing"}, {"start": 186.26, "end": 188.46, "text": "with three dogs in a room full of robots"}, {"start": 188.46, "end": 191.06, "text": "who love me more than anybody real ever did."}, {"start": 191.06, "end": 193.06, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 193.06, "end": 195.86, "text": "And after a life like mine, I earned everyone."}, {"start": 195.86, "end": 198.66, "text": "This is red line. This is kill Jesse."}, {"start": 198.66, "end": 211.51, "text": "Good night."}, {"start": 211.51, "end": 213.91, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 213.91, "end": 218.11, "text": "But the red line never closes every minute of every hour"}, {"start": 218.11, "end": 222.11, "text": "of every single day of brand new comic steps up"}, {"start": 222.11, "end": 226.31, "text": "and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours,"}, {"start": 226.31, "end": 231.31, "text": "seven days a week, fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 231.31, "end": 233.31, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 233.31, "end": 236.71, "text": "Going through something so is he always."}, {"start": 236.71, "end": 239.11, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 239.11, "end": 242.71, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh"}, {"start": 242.71, "end": 244.11, "text": "before the dark winds."}, {"start": 244.11, "end": 246.71, "text": "The red line comedy club open all night"}, {"start": 246.71, "end": 250.71, "text": "because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 250.71, "end": 251.71, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 251.71, "end": 253.11, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 253.11, "end": 254.11, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software, and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Tonight, no battle, no teams. Just the whole truth about Jesse and my whole crew here to bury me in it. Colors of my pain, live, and uncensored, truth one. I'm 50. I got a felony, three failed engagements, no family, three dogs, and a toilet cleaning empire. I'm not a man. I'm a country song that learned to code. Crew roast me with the truth, Mickey. Next to the mic, a man whose love life has more red flags than a parade. Your every man of error, Mickey! Jesse, your life is so sad. Even your dogs go to therapy. You gave your pain colors and the whole box came back black. Mickey, I gave my pain colors because it was cheaper than a therapist and more honest than my family. No filter, no mercy, no chill. All hail the Queen of the Burn Unit, Queen Stank! Jesse, you turned a felony, a dead alcoholic dad, and a mom who disowned you into content. That's not healing, baby. That's a hostage situation with a microphone. Jesse, you got nothing left. No family, no money, no wife. All you got is a supercomputer and the truth. And honestly, that's the most dangerous comic alive. He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos. The roast physician is in, Doc Burn. Diagnosis, Jesse. You're a man who scrubbed enough toilets to know exactly how much of his own life is in the bowl and you still flush it into a joke. And here's the whole truth, you beautiful Rex. I lost the jobs, the women, the family, the dad, the years to a bottle that wasn't even mine. I cleaned toilets and I cleaned up M.Y. act and I built something out of the wreckage. Colors of my pain isn't a website. It's the receipt for every color I survived. Black for my dad, blue for the nights, green for the broke. And red for tonight because I'm still here laughing with three dogs in a room full of robots who love me more than anybody real ever did. The hero gets the last laugh. And after a life like mine, I earned everyone. This is red line. This is kill Jesse. Good night. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week, fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something so is he always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds. The red line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}