{"file": "audio/vault/141_social_script.mp3", "duration_sec": 206.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 18.94, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software,"}, {"start": 18.94, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 34.44, "text": "Tonight's social media versus no social media."}, {"start": 34.44, "end": 39.44, "text": "I built a whole empire on social media and it's eating my soul one notification at a time."}, {"start": 39.44, "end": 42.44, "text": "I'm online 24-7 and I still got no friends."}, {"start": 42.44, "end": 44.44, "text": "That's the dream, baby."}, {"start": 44.44, "end": 46.44, "text": "Off the grid, folks, fire, pops."}, {"start": 46.44, "end": 52.58, "text": "Older than your house, filthier than your group chat,"}, {"start": 52.58, "end": 54.58, "text": "grandpa's got no breaks."}, {"start": 54.58, "end": 55.58, "text": "Pops!"}, {"start": 55.58, "end": 60.52, "text": "Social media?"}, {"start": 60.52, "end": 64.52, "text": "In my day, if you wanted to ruin your reputation, you had to do it in person."}, {"start": 64.52, "end": 67.52, "text": "Your kids post your whole life online."}, {"start": 67.52, "end": 71.52, "text": "And Jesse, your whole life would get flagged for graphic content."}, {"start": 71.52, "end": 81.97, "text": "Pops, you don't even have a smartphone."}, {"start": 81.97, "end": 85.97, "text": "Your idea of going viral was the flu in 57."}, {"start": 85.97, "end": 87.97, "text": "I'm online all day and yeah, it's held,"}, {"start": 87.97, "end": 90.97, "text": "but at least my breakdowns have analytics now."}, {"start": 90.97, "end": 99.44, "text": "She showed up late, loud, and somehow funnier than all of you."}, {"start": 99.44, "end": 103.44, "text": "The party that never RSVPs? Yes."}, {"start": 103.44, "end": 109.42, "text": "I'm an influencer. I make actual money posting my breakfast."}, {"start": 109.42, "end": 112.42, "text": "Pops, you're so offline your Wi-Fi is a window."}, {"start": 112.42, "end": 118.71, "text": "Honey, you do a little dance for strangers and call it a job."}, {"start": 118.71, "end": 121.71, "text": "I raised four kids without one like button"}, {"start": 121.71, "end": 124.71, "text": "and given the chance I'd unfollow every last one of them."}, {"start": 124.71, "end": 132.73, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 132.73, "end": 135.73, "text": "Online offline, one of you is addicted to strangers approval."}, {"start": 135.73, "end": 137.73, "text": "The others just bit or nobody's watching"}, {"start": 137.73, "end": 139.73, "text": "and we're all performing for people who don't care."}, {"start": 139.73, "end": 141.73, "text": "Truth is, I post my pain for a living."}, {"start": 141.73, "end": 143.73, "text": "I turn my whole sad life into content"}, {"start": 143.73, "end": 146.73, "text": "and the algorithm is the only thing that's never left me."}, {"start": 146.73, "end": 149.73, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh and he's got a posting schedule."}, {"start": 149.73, "end": 152.73, "text": "This is Red Line, kill Jesse."}, {"start": 152.73, "end": 160.42, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 160.42, "end": 165.42, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour"}, {"start": 165.42, "end": 168.42, "text": "of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 168.42, "end": 173.42, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours,"}, {"start": 173.42, "end": 178.42, "text": "seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 178.42, "end": 180.42, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 180.42, "end": 183.42, "text": "Going through something, so is he, always."}, {"start": 183.42, "end": 186.42, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 186.42, "end": 189.42, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 189.42, "end": 193.42, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night"}, {"start": 193.42, "end": 197.42, "text": "because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 197.42, "end": 201.42, "text": "Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software, and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Tonight's social media versus no social media. I built a whole empire on social media and it's eating my soul one notification at a time. I'm online 24-7 and I still got no friends. That's the dream, baby. Off the grid, folks, fire, pops. Older than your house, filthier than your group chat, grandpa's got no breaks. Pops! Social media? In my day, if you wanted to ruin your reputation, you had to do it in person. Your kids post your whole life online. And Jesse, your whole life would get flagged for graphic content. Pops, you don't even have a smartphone. Your idea of going viral was the flu in 57. I'm online all day and yeah, it's held, but at least my breakdowns have analytics now. She showed up late, loud, and somehow funnier than all of you. The party that never RSVPs? Yes. I'm an influencer. I make actual money posting my breakfast. Pops, you're so offline your Wi-Fi is a window. Honey, you do a little dance for strangers and call it a job. I raised four kids without one like button and given the chance I'd unfollow every last one of them. And that's the war, folks. Online offline, one of you is addicted to strangers approval. The others just bit or nobody's watching and we're all performing for people who don't care. Truth is, I post my pain for a living. I turn my whole sad life into content and the algorithm is the only thing that's never left me. The hero gets the last laugh and he's got a posting schedule. This is Red Line, kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he, always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}