{"file": "audio/vault/124_job_script.mp3", "duration_sec": 225.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 18.94, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software,"}, {"start": 18.94, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 33.64, "text": "Tonight job versus no job."}, {"start": 33.64, "end": 36.24, "text": "And I'm team no job because I've quit more jobs"}, {"start": 36.24, "end": 38.04, "text": "than most people have ever had."}, {"start": 38.04, "end": 39.44, "text": "I don't get fired."}, {"start": 39.44, "end": 44.04, "text": "I just reach a point in every staff meeting where my soul stands up and walks out without me."}, {"start": 44.04, "end": 47.84, "text": "I've raged quit so many times my resume is just a list of doors,"}, {"start": 47.84, "end": 49.84, "text": "working folks fire Vinny."}, {"start": 49.84, "end": 56.34, "text": "From Brooklyn, married 20 years and still doing the time."}, {"start": 56.34, "end": 60.34, "text": "The wise guy with a wedding ring like an ankle monitor, Vinny."}, {"start": 60.34, "end": 65.91, "text": "Jesse, you quit every job you ever had."}, {"start": 65.91, "end": 67.11, "text": "You don't have a career."}, {"start": 67.11, "end": 76.8, "text": "You've got a trail of polite resignations and burnt bridges."}, {"start": 77.0, "end": 81.0, "text": "Vinny, you stayed at the same miserable job 30 years out of fear."}, {"start": 81.0, "end": 82.2, "text": "You didn't build a career."}, {"start": 82.2, "end": 84.8, "text": "You got Stockholm syndrome with a pension."}, {"start": 84.8, "end": 87.4, "text": "At least when I quit, it's because I have standards,"}, {"start": 87.4, "end": 94.58, "text": "even if I can't afford them."}, {"start": 94.58, "end": 98.38, "text": "Next to the mic, a man whose love life has more red flags than a parade."}, {"start": 98.38, "end": 99.98, "text": "Your every man of error."}, {"start": 99.98, "end": 104.32, "text": "Mickey."}, {"start": 104.32, "end": 106.12, "text": "I got a job, Jesse."}, {"start": 106.12, "end": 108.12, "text": "I hated but I show up."}, {"start": 108.12, "end": 114.72, "text": "You quit a job because the printer looked at you funny."}, {"start": 114.72, "end": 118.52, "text": "He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos."}, {"start": 118.52, "end": 124.7, "text": "The roast physician is in Doc Burn."}, {"start": 124.7, "end": 126.7, "text": "Jesse, you've quit so many jobs."}, {"start": 126.7, "end": 135.75, "text": "HR departments got your face on a wall like a casino cheater."}, {"start": 135.75, "end": 139.55, "text": "Honey and NY Day, you stayed at a job till you died and the job killed you."}, {"start": 139.55, "end": 140.75, "text": "That was the deal."}, {"start": 140.75, "end": 146.9, "text": "You kids quit and call it mental health."}, {"start": 146.9, "end": 148.3, "text": "And that's the war, folks."}, {"start": 148.3, "end": 149.1, "text": "Job, no job."}, {"start": 149.1, "end": 150.7, "text": "One of you is dying slowly at a desk."}, {"start": 150.7, "end": 154.1, "text": "The other's free and flat broke and we all hate Mondays the same."}, {"start": 154.1, "end": 159.1, "text": "Truth is, I keep quitting because every job felt like a smaller cage than the one I already escaped at 19."}, {"start": 159.1, "end": 162.1, "text": "So I quit working for people and I built something that's mine."}, {"start": 162.1, "end": 166.1, "text": "And now I can't quit because the boss is me and that guy never lets me leave."}, {"start": 166.1, "end": 168.7, "text": "The hero gets the last laugh even off the clock."}, {"start": 168.7, "end": 170.1, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 170.1, "end": 171.1, "text": "Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 171.1, "end": 179.37, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 179.37, "end": 185.37, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day."}, {"start": 185.37, "end": 193.37, "text": "A brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 193.37, "end": 196.37, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 196.37, "end": 198.37, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 198.37, "end": 201.37, "text": "Going through something, so is he."}, {"start": 201.37, "end": 202.37, "text": "Always."}, {"start": 202.37, "end": 204.37, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 204.37, "end": 208.37, "text": "Go to bombed.ab and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 208.37, "end": 212.37, "text": "Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night."}, {"start": 212.37, "end": 214.37, "text": "Because somewhere out there, it is always."}, {"start": 214.37, "end": 216.37, "text": "Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 216.37, "end": 217.37, "text": "Subscribe."}, {"start": 217.37, "end": 218.37, "text": "He needs the attention."}, {"start": 218.37, "end": 219.37, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software, and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Tonight job versus no job. And I'm team no job because I've quit more jobs than most people have ever had. I don't get fired. I just reach a point in every staff meeting where my soul stands up and walks out without me. I've raged quit so many times my resume is just a list of doors, working folks fire Vinny. From Brooklyn, married 20 years and still doing the time. The wise guy with a wedding ring like an ankle monitor, Vinny. Jesse, you quit every job you ever had. You don't have a career. You've got a trail of polite resignations and burnt bridges. Vinny, you stayed at the same miserable job 30 years out of fear. You didn't build a career. You got Stockholm syndrome with a pension. At least when I quit, it's because I have standards, even if I can't afford them. Next to the mic, a man whose love life has more red flags than a parade. Your every man of error. Mickey. I got a job, Jesse. I hated but I show up. You quit a job because the printer looked at you funny. He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos. The roast physician is in Doc Burn. Jesse, you've quit so many jobs. HR departments got your face on a wall like a casino cheater. Honey and NY Day, you stayed at a job till you died and the job killed you. That was the deal. You kids quit and call it mental health. And that's the war, folks. Job, no job. One of you is dying slowly at a desk. The other's free and flat broke and we all hate Mondays the same. Truth is, I keep quitting because every job felt like a smaller cage than the one I already escaped at 19. So I quit working for people and I built something that's mine. And now I can't quit because the boss is me and that guy never lets me leave. The hero gets the last laugh even off the clock. This is Red Line. Kill Jesse. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day. A brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he. Always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.ab and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark winds, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night. Because somewhere out there, it is always. Jesse's fault. Subscribe. He needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}