{"file": "audio/vault/104_dad_script.mp3", "duration_sec": 223.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.14, "end": 8.34, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model,"}, {"start": 8.34, "end": 11.34, "text": "welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.34, "end": 15.94, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth with a headliner pays to get destroyed,"}, {"start": 15.94, "end": 18.94, "text": "featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software,"}, {"start": 18.94, "end": 21.74, "text": "and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.74, "end": 23.74, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 23.74, "end": 25.34, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.34, "end": 28.14, "text": "We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.14, "end": 33.24, "text": "Tonight gets personal, folks."}, {"start": 33.24, "end": 36.24, "text": "I tell people I grew up with two brothers, me and Budweiser,"}, {"start": 36.24, "end": 38.24, "text": "and my dad loved Budweiser more."}, {"start": 38.24, "end": 42.24, "text": "My dad drank so much bud the Clydesdale sent a sympathy card."}, {"start": 42.24, "end": 45.24, "text": "People ask about me and my old man. We were real close."}, {"start": 45.24, "end": 49.24, "text": "Me, him, and a 12-pack. Only two of us ever made it to the end of the night"}, {"start": 49.24, "end": 51.24, "text": "and it was never me and him."}, {"start": 67.57, "end": 70.57, "text": "Having an alcoholic dad is great, by the way."}, {"start": 70.57, "end": 72.57, "text": "You learn to read a room before you can read a book."}, {"start": 72.57, "end": 75.57, "text": "I learned to tiptoe before I learned to walk."}, {"start": 75.57, "end": 78.57, "text": "You don't grow up in that house. You audition for it."}, {"start": 78.57, "end": 80.57, "text": "Other kids waited up for Santa."}, {"start": 80.57, "end": 92.14, "text": "He made it up to make sure dad made it up the stairs."}, {"start": 92.14, "end": 96.14, "text": "He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos."}, {"start": 96.14, "end": 102.15, "text": "The roast physician is in Doc Burn."}, {"start": 102.15, "end": 111.75, "text": "Jesse, your dad had a designated driver. It was killed."}, {"start": 111.75, "end": 113.75, "text": "People say your dad did the best he could."}, {"start": 113.75, "end": 116.75, "text": "Yeah, the best of six pack would let him."}, {"start": 116.75, "end": 118.75, "text": "His whole love language was, we don't talk about it."}, {"start": 118.75, "end": 133.29, "text": "Father's son bonding was me hiding his keys and him hiding the bottles."}, {"start": 133.29, "end": 136.29, "text": "And the bottle raised you more than he did."}, {"start": 136.29, "end": 143.44, "text": "At least the bottle was consistent."}, {"start": 143.44, "end": 145.44, "text": "And here's the truth, you beautiful Rex."}, {"start": 145.44, "end": 148.44, "text": "When my dad died, he left me his phone number."}, {"start": 148.44, "end": 150.44, "text": "It's the most he ever gave me sober."}, {"start": 150.44, "end": 153.44, "text": "To every kid out there with an alcoholic dad, it ain't your fault."}, {"start": 153.44, "end": 155.44, "text": "It never was and the bottle was always gonna win that one."}, {"start": 155.44, "end": 158.44, "text": "But I got sober. So the bottle stops with me."}, {"start": 158.44, "end": 161.44, "text": "I broke the cycle and I turned 18 years of pain into a microphone."}, {"start": 161.44, "end": 163.44, "text": "That's why the hero gets the last laugh."}, {"start": 163.44, "end": 166.44, "text": "For all of us, this is Red Line. This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 166.44, "end": 176.57, "text": "Good night, dad."}, {"start": 176.57, "end": 178.57, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 178.57, "end": 186.57, "text": "But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up."}, {"start": 186.57, "end": 192.57, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week."}, {"start": 192.57, "end": 195.57, "text": "Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 195.57, "end": 197.57, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 197.57, "end": 201.57, "text": "Going through something, so is he, always."}, {"start": 201.57, "end": 203.57, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 203.57, "end": 206.57, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh."}, {"start": 206.57, "end": 210.57, "text": "Before the dark wins, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night."}, {"start": 210.57, "end": 214.57, "text": "Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 214.57, "end": 218.57, "text": "Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth with a headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software, and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Tonight gets personal, folks. I tell people I grew up with two brothers, me and Budweiser, and my dad loved Budweiser more. My dad drank so much bud the Clydesdale sent a sympathy card. People ask about me and my old man. We were real close. Me, him, and a 12-pack. Only two of us ever made it to the end of the night and it was never me and him. Having an alcoholic dad is great, by the way. You learn to read a room before you can read a book. I learned to tiptoe before I learned to walk. You don't grow up in that house. You audition for it. Other kids waited up for Santa. He made it up to make sure dad made it up the stairs. He's not a real doctor, but neither was the guy who did your tattoos. The roast physician is in Doc Burn. Jesse, your dad had a designated driver. It was killed. People say your dad did the best he could. Yeah, the best of six pack would let him. His whole love language was, we don't talk about it. Father's son bonding was me hiding his keys and him hiding the bottles. And the bottle raised you more than he did. At least the bottle was consistent. And here's the truth, you beautiful Rex. When my dad died, he left me his phone number. It's the most he ever gave me sober. To every kid out there with an alcoholic dad, it ain't your fault. It never was and the bottle was always gonna win that one. But I got sober. So the bottle stops with me. I broke the cycle and I turned 18 years of pain into a microphone. That's why the hero gets the last laugh. For all of us, this is Red Line. This is Kill Jesse. Good night, dad. And that is our show. But the Red Line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day of brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week. Fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he, always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh. Before the dark wins, the Red Line Comedy Club open all night. Because somewhere out there, it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}