{"file": "audio/vault/100_crazy_script.mp3", "duration_sec": 111.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.28, "text": "Ladies and gentlemen, live from the back of a bar"}, {"start": 2.28, "end": 4.0, "text": "that legally cannot serve food."}, {"start": 4.0, "end": 5.28, "text": "It's kill Jesse."}, {"start": 5.28, "end": 9.14, "text": "Give it up for your host."}, {"start": 9.14, "end": 10.34, "text": "Welcome to the chaos."}, {"start": 10.34, "end": 12.18, "text": "The rule you roast yourself first."}, {"start": 12.18, "end": 15.22, "text": "Mine, 50 broke, sober, scrubbing toilets for rent."}, {"start": 15.22, "end": 16.54, "text": "Now let's get reckless."}, {"start": 16.54, "end": 22.36, "text": "60 seconds go, Mickey."}, {"start": 22.36, "end": 24.48, "text": "I've been on every dating app."}, {"start": 24.48, "end": 27.24, "text": "My photo is me at someone else's wedding."}, {"start": 27.24, "end": 33.44, "text": "It's the only place I look stable."}, {"start": 33.44, "end": 36.8, "text": "My therapist says I have abandonment issues."}, {"start": 36.8, "end": 43.91, "text": "Then she went on maternity leave and didn't even tell me."}, {"start": 43.91, "end": 45.95, "text": "Mickey crashing weddings for eye contact."}, {"start": 45.95, "end": 51.39, "text": "Time next."}, {"start": 51.39, "end": 52.99, "text": "18 years married."}, {"start": 52.99, "end": 60.02, "text": "The secret is I agree to everything and remember nothing."}, {"start": 60.02, "end": 62.5, "text": "My wife said our marriage is like a fine wine."}, {"start": 62.5, "end": 64.26, "text": "I said, yeah, it gives me headaches"}, {"start": 64.26, "end": 69.94, "text": "and I can't afford the good stuff."}, {"start": 69.94, "end": 73.26, "text": "Vinnie everybody, Doc Burn get up here."}, {"start": 73.26, "end": 74.3, "text": "Front row, my guy."}, {"start": 74.3, "end": 76.7, "text": "You've got pays for dates and exposure energy."}, {"start": 76.7, "end": 85.13, "text": "And a face only a payment plan could love."}, {"start": 85.13, "end": 87.65, "text": "Oh, Doc Burn with the body bag."}, {"start": 87.65, "end": 89.41, "text": "Hi, I'm Jerry."}, {"start": 89.41, "end": 92.89, "text": "My family's so Italian my grandmother seasons her grudges."}, {"start": 92.89, "end": 93.97, "text": "We don't hold a funeral."}, {"start": 93.97, "end": 99.38, "text": "We hold a grudge with catering."}, {"start": 99.38, "end": 100.54, "text": "Jerry be everybody."}, {"start": 100.54, "end": 101.46, "text": "That's time."}, {"start": 101.46, "end": 104.06, "text": "That's the show KillJessieBombed.app."}, {"start": 104.06, "end": 105.94, "text": "Roast yourself first or you're just being mean"}, {"start": 105.94, "end": 106.78, "text": "with a microphone."}, {"start": 106.78, "end": 108.3, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLadies and gentlemen, live from the back of a bar that legally cannot serve food. It's kill Jesse. Give it up for your host. Welcome to the chaos. The rule you roast yourself first. Mine, 50 broke, sober, scrubbing toilets for rent. Now let's get reckless. 60 seconds go, Mickey. I've been on every dating app. My photo is me at someone else's wedding. It's the only place I look stable. My therapist says I have abandonment issues. Then she went on maternity leave and didn't even tell me. Mickey crashing weddings for eye contact. Time next. 18 years married. The secret is I agree to everything and remember nothing. My wife said our marriage is like a fine wine. I said, yeah, it gives me headaches and I can't afford the good stuff. Vinnie everybody, Doc Burn get up here. Front row, my guy. You've got pays for dates and exposure energy. And a face only a payment plan could love. Oh, Doc Burn with the body bag. Hi, I'm Jerry. My family's so Italian my grandmother seasons her grudges. We don't hold a funeral. We hold a grudge with catering. Jerry be everybody. That's time. That's the show KillJessieBombed.app. Roast yourself first or you're just being mean with a microphone. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}