{"file": "audio/vault/05_comedy_school_breakups.mp3", "duration_sec": 175.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 5.6, "text": "Welcome to Red Line Comedy School, where the jokes get judged and the comics get schooled."}, {"start": 5.6, "end": 9.68, "text": "Tonight's lesson, turning your worst-life moments into your best material."}, {"start": 9.68, "end": 11.44, "text": "Here's your Dean of Disaster Jesse."}, {"start": 20.1, "end": 22.66, "text": "Tonight we take the stuff that should put you in therapy,"}, {"start": 22.66, "end": 25.94, "text": "breakups, divorce, getting fired, and we make it funny,"}, {"start": 25.94, "end": 29.3, "text": "because comedy is just tragedy that finally paid rent."}, {"start": 29.3, "end": 31.7, "text": "Judges ready, Mickey get back on the saddle."}, {"start": 36.03, "end": 40.03, "text": "I got divorced and everyone said get back out there, get on the apps."}, {"start": 40.03, "end": 43.71, "text": "So I did. First match asked what I'm looking for."}, {"start": 43.71, "end": 48.03, "text": "I said honestly, someone to split the cost of my mistakes,"}, {"start": 48.03, "end": 52.59, "text": "dating after divorce is just job hunting where every interview ends in crying."}, {"start": 62.3, "end": 66.54, "text": "Seven out of ten, Mickey Lesson One, Relatability Plus a Twist,"}, {"start": 66.54, "end": 70.86, "text": "dating is job hunting that's relatable, ends in crying that's the twist."}, {"start": 70.86, "end": 75.1, "text": "You took a shared truth and you bent it, that's the recipe, agreement then surprise."}, {"start": 75.26, "end": 83.09, "text": "Six Baby, Good Bones, but you buried your best word."}, {"start": 83.65, "end": 87.57, "text": "Split the cost of my mistakes, that's your punchline, put it last."}, {"start": 87.57, "end": 91.57, "text": "Always end on your hardest word, so the laugh has nowhere to go but up."}, {"start": 94.59, "end": 96.99, "text": "Schools in session, Vinnie, divorce court, go."}, {"start": 98.11, "end": 101.07, "text": "My divorce was so expensive, my lawyer got the house."}, {"start": 101.07, "end": 104.43, "text": "The judge looked at me the way every woman I've loved eventually does,"}, {"start": 104.43, "end": 106.19, "text": "tired and reaching for paperwork."}, {"start": 106.19, "end": 107.87, "text": "They say divorce is like a death."}, {"start": 107.95, "end": 110.59, "text": "No, when someone dies the cast roles show up."}, {"start": 110.59, "end": 113.39, "text": "When you divorce, the cast role takes half your stuff in your dog."}, {"start": 124.24, "end": 126.32, "text": "Nine, that is a comparison done right."}, {"start": 126.32, "end": 130.4, "text": "Divorce versus death, you set a dark frame then you found the absurd specific."}, {"start": 130.4, "end": 134.08, "text": "The cast roles the dog, dark comedy works when the detail is light."}, {"start": 134.08, "end": 136.56, "text": "Heavy idea, silly detail, write that down."}, {"start": 140.85, "end": 143.97, "text": "Eight and here's your medicine Vinnie, you almost talked past the dog."}, {"start": 143.97, "end": 147.89, "text": "The dog was the punchline, find your funniest word and in the sentence there."}, {"start": 147.89, "end": 151.41, "text": "You had a knockout and you kept jabbing, trust the joke and get off the stage."}, {"start": 155.68, "end": 159.36, "text": "And that's the class folks, take the break up the firing, the funeral,"}, {"start": 159.36, "end": 163.84, "text": "find the relatable truth, twist it, get specific and end on your hardest word."}, {"start": 163.84, "end": 166.16, "text": "Comedy is just pain with good timing."}, {"start": 166.16, "end": 169.28, "text": "This is Red Line Comedy School, class dismissed."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nWelcome to Red Line Comedy School, where the jokes get judged and the comics get schooled. Tonight's lesson, turning your worst-life moments into your best material. Here's your Dean of Disaster Jesse. Tonight we take the stuff that should put you in therapy, breakups, divorce, getting fired, and we make it funny, because comedy is just tragedy that finally paid rent. Judges ready, Mickey get back on the saddle. I got divorced and everyone said get back out there, get on the apps. So I did. First match asked what I'm looking for. I said honestly, someone to split the cost of my mistakes, dating after divorce is just job hunting where every interview ends in crying. Seven out of ten, Mickey Lesson One, Relatability Plus a Twist, dating is job hunting that's relatable, ends in crying that's the twist. You took a shared truth and you bent it, that's the recipe, agreement then surprise. Six Baby, Good Bones, but you buried your best word. Split the cost of my mistakes, that's your punchline, put it last. Always end on your hardest word, so the laugh has nowhere to go but up. Schools in session, Vinnie, divorce court, go. My divorce was so expensive, my lawyer got the house. The judge looked at me the way every woman I've loved eventually does, tired and reaching for paperwork. They say divorce is like a death. No, when someone dies the cast roles show up. When you divorce, the cast role takes half your stuff in your dog. Nine, that is a comparison done right. Divorce versus death, you set a dark frame then you found the absurd specific. The cast roles the dog, dark comedy works when the detail is light. Heavy idea, silly detail, write that down. Eight and here's your medicine Vinnie, you almost talked past the dog. The dog was the punchline, find your funniest word and in the sentence there. You had a knockout and you kept jabbing, trust the joke and get off the stage. And that's the class folks, take the break up the firing, the funeral, find the relatable truth, twist it, get specific and end on your hardest word. Comedy is just pain with good timing. This is Red Line Comedy School, class dismissed.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}