{"file": "audio/vault/04_nonstop_roast_ride.mp3", "duration_sec": 132.6, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.48, "text": "Strap in degenerates."}, {"start": 1.48, "end": 3.92, "text": "The red line carnival ride is leaving the station."}, {"start": 3.92, "end": 6.44, "text": "No breaks, no mercy, all roasts."}, {"start": 6.44, "end": 17.42, "text": "Here's your conductor of chaos, Jesse."}, {"start": 17.42, "end": 19.78, "text": "Welcome to the ride that never stops."}, {"start": 19.78, "end": 22.62, "text": "Tonight these clowns roast each other till somebody cries"}, {"start": 22.62, "end": 24.42, "text": "and it better not be me again."}, {"start": 24.42, "end": 25.58, "text": "Mickey, you're up."}, {"start": 25.58, "end": 31.42, "text": "Vinnie, you're on deck to bury him."}, {"start": 31.42, "end": 32.7, "text": "Thanks, Jesse."}, {"start": 32.7, "end": 36.58, "text": "Vinnie, you're so old your birth certificate is in Roman numerals."}, {"start": 36.58, "end": 38.26, "text": "Eight years married."}, {"start": 38.26, "end": 39.54, "text": "That's not a marriage."}, {"start": 39.54, "end": 51.0, "text": "That's Stockholm syndrome with a mortgage."}, {"start": 51.0, "end": 54.36, "text": "Mickey, you got a face for radio and a voice for silent films."}, {"start": 54.36, "end": 56.72, "text": "You match with women on the apps and they unmatch you"}, {"start": 56.72, "end": 58.0, "text": "while you're still typing."}, {"start": 58.0, "end": 69.06, "text": "Doc Burn, get over here before I start liking this kid."}, {"start": 69.06, "end": 71.02, "text": "Vinnie, you're so cheap you breathe through your nose"}, {"start": 71.02, "end": 72.42, "text": "to save on Cologne."}, {"start": 72.42, "end": 74.98, "text": "Jerry, you Italian peacock, you iron your shirts"}, {"start": 74.98, "end": 84.91, "text": "and your alibis."}, {"start": 84.91, "end": 88.71, "text": "Doc Burn, you got a personality like a parking ticket."}, {"start": 88.71, "end": 91.19, "text": "Nobody wants you when you ruin the whole day."}, {"start": 91.19, "end": 100.67, "text": "Nana, you sweet old terrorist finish him."}, {"start": 100.67, "end": 104.03, "text": "Jerry, you talk tough but you still call your mother to cut your meat."}, {"start": 104.03, "end": 118.08, "text": "And all you boys, you're exactly why I start drinking the good wine before noon."}, {"start": 118.08, "end": 120.68, "text": "Nana with the body bag, that's the ride, folks."}, {"start": 120.68, "end": 123.24, "text": "Nobody survived including myself, esteem."}, {"start": 123.24, "end": 124.28, "text": "This is Red Line."}, {"start": 124.28, "end": 125.52, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 125.52, "end": 126.76, "text": "Now get the hell home."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nStrap in degenerates. The red line carnival ride is leaving the station. No breaks, no mercy, all roasts. Here's your conductor of chaos, Jesse. Welcome to the ride that never stops. Tonight these clowns roast each other till somebody cries and it better not be me again. Mickey, you're up. Vinnie, you're on deck to bury him. Thanks, Jesse. Vinnie, you're so old your birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Eight years married. That's not a marriage. That's Stockholm syndrome with a mortgage. Mickey, you got a face for radio and a voice for silent films. You match with women on the apps and they unmatch you while you're still typing. Doc Burn, get over here before I start liking this kid. Vinnie, you're so cheap you breathe through your nose to save on Cologne. Jerry, you Italian peacock, you iron your shirts and your alibis. Doc Burn, you got a personality like a parking ticket. Nobody wants you when you ruin the whole day. Nana, you sweet old terrorist finish him. Jerry, you talk tough but you still call your mother to cut your meat. And all you boys, you're exactly why I start drinking the good wine before noon. Nana with the body bag, that's the ride, folks. Nobody survived including myself, esteem. This is Red Line. This is Kill Jesse. Now get the hell home.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}