{"file": "audio/vault/03_all_28_voices_showcase.mp3", "duration_sec": 180.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 7.0, "text": "Welcome to the Kill Jesse Voice Showcase. Every comic on the roster one line each. Listen close. This is the whole bench."}, {"start": 8.56, "end": 15.52, "text": "I'm Mickey. My dating profile photo is me at someone else's wedding. It's the only place I look stable."}, {"start": 16.64, "end": 21.96, "text": "I'm Vinnie 18 years married. The secret is I agree to everything and remember nothing."}, {"start": 23.16, "end": 28.28, "text": "I'm Doc Burn. I diagnose your whole life in one look and the prognosis is always rough."}, {"start": 30.28, "end": 35.12, "text": "I'm Queen Stank. I don't have a filter. I had one. I returned it for store credit."}, {"start": 36.72, "end": 40.04, "text": "I'm Big Mama. I'll feed you and roast you in the same sentence."}, {"start": 41.52, "end": 46.0, "text": "I'm Ruby. I'm gorgeous and mean. It's a package deal and you can't afford the shipping."}, {"start": 47.6, "end": 52.04, "text": "I'm trip. I built an app that does nothing and raised four million dollars. That's my Tuesday."}, {"start": 53.44, "end": 56.92, "text": "I'm Graves. I find the light at the end of the tunnel and I unplug it."}, {"start": 57.92, "end": 61.92, "text": "I'm Skip. I don't have problems, bro. I have pre-workout and unresolved trauma."}, {"start": 63.28, "end": 68.44, "text": "I'm Pixel. I peaked in a video game lobby in 2014 and I've been coasting ever since."}, {"start": 69.8, "end": 74.92, "text": "I'm Pops. 81. I've buried three wives and only one was on purpose."}, {"start": 75.92, "end": 80.64, "text": "I am circuit. I was built to make you laugh. I have calculated you are a difficult case."}, {"start": 82.0, "end": 86.4, "text": "I'm Melody. I'll sing you a love song and then bill you for the emotional damage."}, {"start": 87.92, "end": 93.16, "text": "I'm sugar. Bless your heart. That's Southern for I just insulted you and you'll thank me later."}, {"start": 94.36, "end": 98.28, "text": "I'm Jess. My whole personality is a vibe and three unpaid parking tickets."}, {"start": 99.56, "end": 104.28, "text": "I'm Karma. I do yoga. I drink green tea and I will ruin your week spiritually."}, {"start": 105.8, "end": 115.72, "text": "I'm Nikki. 20 years waiting tables. A salad at 3 a.m. means de force. I bring extra forks."}, {"start": 117.4, "end": 120.92, "text": "I'm Nana. I love my grandkids. I just love them more when they leave."}, {"start": 122.44, "end": 125.92, "text": "I'm broke. I'm not lazy. I'm energy efficient. Big difference man."}, {"start": 127.28, "end": 131.88, "text": "I'm Nigel. I'd explain my superiority, but you simply wouldn't have the vocabulary."}, {"start": 133.32, "end": 137.52, "text": "I'm the professor. Studies show 90% of you will laugh and the rest are wrong."}, {"start": 139.24, "end": 143.2, "text": "I'm Gov. Back home. A balanced diet is a pint in each hand."}, {"start": 143.68, "end": 149.12, "text": "I'm Oli. I'm not awkward. I'm just British and feeling things at the same time."}, {"start": 150.64, "end": 155.52, "text": "I'm the Duchess. I'd insult you, but my breeding won't allow me to acknowledge you exist."}, {"start": 156.96, "end": 160.72, "text": "I'm Beck from Birmingham. I'll fight anyone here and I've already picked you."}, {"start": 162.24, "end": 166.72, "text": "I'm Bella. Every entrance is dramatic. Even this one. Especially this one."}, {"start": 168.32, "end": 172.4, "text": "I'm Pip. I'm small. I'm sweet. And I will end you before you finish your drink."}, {"start": 173.2, "end": 179.92, "text": "That's all 28. The deepest bench in comedy and everyone works for free. This is Kill Jessie."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nWelcome to the Kill Jesse Voice Showcase. Every comic on the roster one line each. Listen close. This is the whole bench. I'm Mickey. My dating profile photo is me at someone else's wedding. It's the only place I look stable. I'm Vinnie 18 years married. The secret is I agree to everything and remember nothing. I'm Doc Burn. I diagnose your whole life in one look and the prognosis is always rough. I'm Queen Stank. I don't have a filter. I had one. I returned it for store credit. I'm Big Mama. I'll feed you and roast you in the same sentence. I'm Ruby. I'm gorgeous and mean. It's a package deal and you can't afford the shipping. I'm trip. I built an app that does nothing and raised four million dollars. That's my Tuesday. I'm Graves. I find the light at the end of the tunnel and I unplug it. I'm Skip. I don't have problems, bro. I have pre-workout and unresolved trauma. I'm Pixel. I peaked in a video game lobby in 2014 and I've been coasting ever since. I'm Pops. 81. I've buried three wives and only one was on purpose. I am circuit. I was built to make you laugh. I have calculated you are a difficult case. I'm Melody. I'll sing you a love song and then bill you for the emotional damage. I'm sugar. Bless your heart. That's Southern for I just insulted you and you'll thank me later. I'm Jess. My whole personality is a vibe and three unpaid parking tickets. I'm Karma. I do yoga. I drink green tea and I will ruin your week spiritually. I'm Nikki. 20 years waiting tables. A salad at 3 a.m. means de force. I bring extra forks. I'm Nana. I love my grandkids. I just love them more when they leave. I'm broke. I'm not lazy. I'm energy efficient. Big difference man. I'm Nigel. I'd explain my superiority, but you simply wouldn't have the vocabulary. I'm the professor. Studies show 90% of you will laugh and the rest are wrong. I'm Gov. Back home. A balanced diet is a pint in each hand. I'm Oli. I'm not awkward. I'm just British and feeling things at the same time. I'm the Duchess. I'd insult you, but my breeding won't allow me to acknowledge you exist. I'm Beck from Birmingham. I'll fight anyone here and I've already picked you. I'm Bella. Every entrance is dramatic. Even this one. Especially this one. I'm Pip. I'm small. I'm sweet. And I will end you before you finish your drink. That's all 28. The deepest bench in comedy and everyone works for free. This is Kill Jessie.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}