{"file": "audio/story-vault/A594_my-pain-has-a-waiting-list.mp3", "duration_sec": 157.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.84, "text": "My pain has a waiting list when you write a life story called"}, {"start": 2.84, "end": 4.2, "text": "Colors of My Pain."}, {"start": 4.2, "end": 6.4, "text": "You find out your pain is not shy."}, {"start": 6.4, "end": 8.2, "text": "It does not come in quietly."}, {"start": 8.2, "end": 10.28, "text": "It walks in with a clipboard like Jesse."}, {"start": 10.28, "end": 13.56, "text": "I have three chapters, two unresolved lessons and a scene"}, {"start": 13.56, "end": 16.8, "text": "from 1998 that still wants attention."}, {"start": 16.8, "end": 19.76, "text": "I am 50 now, so my memories do not just visit."}, {"start": 19.76, "end": 21.24, "text": "They bring paperwork."}, {"start": 21.24, "end": 24.04, "text": "The funny part is I spent years trying to outrun"}, {"start": 24.04, "end": 25.24, "text": "some of this stuff."}, {"start": 25.24, "end": 25.96, "text": "Work harder."}, {"start": 25.96, "end": 27.88, "text": "Build more, start another business."}, {"start": 27.88, "end": 32.24, "text": "If I better equipment, clean another house, learn another AI tool."}, {"start": 32.24, "end": 35.2, "text": "If I move fast enough, maybe the past gets winded."}, {"start": 35.2, "end": 36.2, "text": "It does not."}, {"start": 36.2, "end": 37.76, "text": "The past has cardio."}, {"start": 37.76, "end": 40.32, "text": "That is why Colors of My Pain matters to me."}, {"start": 40.32, "end": 41.72, "text": "It is not just a book."}, {"start": 41.72, "end": 45.04, "text": "It is me finally saying, all right, everybody line up."}, {"start": 45.04, "end": 49.2, "text": "Red decisions, blue chaos, green overthinking, yellow heartbreak,"}, {"start": 49.2, "end": 50.44, "text": "all of you get a chapter."}, {"start": 50.44, "end": 53.16, "text": "And of course, red Jesse wants to manage the healing process"}, {"start": 53.16, "end": 54.56, "text": "like a job site."}, {"start": 54.56, "end": 55.88, "text": "I do not sit with pain."}, {"start": 55.88, "end": 57.36, "text": "I try to schedule it."}, {"start": 57.36, "end": 59.48, "text": "And we do trauma between three and four."}, {"start": 59.48, "end": 63.4, "text": "I have a deep clean at five and an AI render at seven."}, {"start": 63.4, "end": 65.52, "text": "Pain does not respect Google Calendar."}, {"start": 65.52, "end": 67.6, "text": "It waits until you are in the car."}, {"start": 67.6, "end": 68.96, "text": "That is where it gets you."}, {"start": 68.96, "end": 73.8, "text": "You are driving thinking about money, customers, websites, and suddenly your brain says, remember"}, {"start": 73.8, "end": 76.12, "text": "that one thing you buried under ambition."}, {"start": 76.12, "end": 78.52, "text": "Great, let's make it a podcast."}, {"start": 78.52, "end": 82.76, "text": "And now I am on highway 70 having a full emotional board meeting with nobody in the"}, {"start": 82.76, "end": 84.08, "text": "passenger seat."}, {"start": 84.08, "end": 86.12, "text": "But comedy changed the deal."}, {"start": 86.12, "end": 88.44, "text": "Nobody lets pain clock in as material."}, {"start": 88.44, "end": 90.52, "text": "Not because the pain was funny when it happened."}, {"start": 90.52, "end": 91.64, "text": "It was not."}, {"start": 91.64, "end": 95.72, "text": "But because I am still here, and if I can name it, turn it, tag it, and make somebody else"}, {"start": 95.72, "end": 99.24, "text": "feel less alone, then the pain does not get the final word."}, {"start": 99.24, "end": 100.84, "text": "That is the whole move."}, {"start": 100.84, "end": 105.08, "text": "Pain into punchlines, truth into lessons, comedy into survival."}, {"start": 105.08, "end": 109.32, "text": "My pain has a waiting list because my life had too many rooms I would not open."}, {"start": 109.32, "end": 114.04, "text": "Now I am opening them one at a time with a mop in one hand and a microphone in the other."}, {"start": 114.04, "end": 117.12, "text": "That is not a midlife crisis that is inventory."}, {"start": 117.12, "end": 122.8, "text": "And if the past want stage time fine, but it better bring a punchline, bombed, apis scoring"}, {"start": 122.8, "end": 123.96, "text": "everybody."}, {"start": 123.96, "end": 128.28, "text": "The four colors helped me stop making pain one big blurry monster."}, {"start": 128.28, "end": 131.08, "text": "Red was the part that survived by pushing forward."}, {"start": 131.08, "end": 132.84, "text": "Green tried to understand it."}, {"start": 132.84, "end": 135.12, "text": "Yellow wanted everybody to be okay."}, {"start": 135.12, "end": 138.16, "text": "Blue kept changing shapes so the room would calm down."}, {"start": 138.16, "end": 139.52, "text": "None of those parts were wrong."}, {"start": 139.52, "end": 141.04, "text": "They were just tired."}, {"start": 141.04, "end": 143.24, "text": "Now the job is not to erase them."}, {"start": 143.24, "end": 145.64, "text": "The job is to give them better lines."}, {"start": 145.64, "end": 148.36, "text": "If red is going to be loud, let it be honest."}, {"start": 148.36, "end": 151.44, "text": "If green is going to analyze, let it find the lesson."}, {"start": 151.44, "end": 154.28, "text": "If yellow is going to care, let it include me too."}, {"start": 154.28, "end": 156.88, "text": "If blue is going to adapt, let it stop disappearing."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nMy pain has a waiting list when you write a life story called Colors of My Pain. You find out your pain is not shy. It does not come in quietly. It walks in with a clipboard like Jesse. I have three chapters, two unresolved lessons and a scene from 1998 that still wants attention. I am 50 now, so my memories do not just visit. They bring paperwork. The funny part is I spent years trying to outrun some of this stuff. Work harder. Build more, start another business. If I better equipment, clean another house, learn another AI tool. If I move fast enough, maybe the past gets winded. It does not. The past has cardio. That is why Colors of My Pain matters to me. It is not just a book. It is me finally saying, all right, everybody line up. Red decisions, blue chaos, green overthinking, yellow heartbreak, all of you get a chapter. And of course, red Jesse wants to manage the healing process like a job site. I do not sit with pain. I try to schedule it. And we do trauma between three and four. I have a deep clean at five and an AI render at seven. Pain does not respect Google Calendar. It waits until you are in the car. That is where it gets you. You are driving thinking about money, customers, websites, and suddenly your brain says, remember that one thing you buried under ambition. Great, let's make it a podcast. And now I am on highway 70 having a full emotional board meeting with nobody in the passenger seat. But comedy changed the deal. Nobody lets pain clock in as material. Not because the pain was funny when it happened. It was not. But because I am still here, and if I can name it, turn it, tag it, and make somebody else feel less alone, then the pain does not get the final word. That is the whole move. Pain into punchlines, truth into lessons, comedy into survival. My pain has a waiting list because my life had too many rooms I would not open. Now I am opening them one at a time with a mop in one hand and a microphone in the other. That is not a midlife crisis that is inventory. And if the past want stage time fine, but it better bring a punchline, bombed, apis scoring everybody. The four colors helped me stop making pain one big blurry monster. Red was the part that survived by pushing forward. Green tried to understand it. Yellow wanted everybody to be okay. Blue kept changing shapes so the room would calm down. None of those parts were wrong. They were just tired. Now the job is not to erase them. The job is to give them better lines. If red is going to be loud, let it be honest. If green is going to analyze, let it find the lesson. If yellow is going to care, let it include me too. If blue is going to adapt, let it stop disappearing.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}