{"file": "audio/story-vault/A494_bombed-app-made-my-calendar-testify.mp3", "duration_sec": 181.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 5.28, "text": "bombed, app made my calendar testify I built bombed, app to help comedians find out why"}, {"start": 5.28, "end": 10.04, "text": "they're jokes bombed, that sounds noble until the app starts looking at my life."}, {"start": 10.04, "end": 13.52, "text": "Because my calendar is the worst open mic I have ever seen."}, {"start": 13.52, "end": 19.4, "text": "Every day has a setup no punchline in 12 tags I did not ask for, cleaning job, AI render,"}, {"start": 19.4, "end": 25.48, "text": "website fix, audio batch, dream builds idea, four colors content, book material, social media"}, {"start": 25.48, "end": 29.96, "text": "post, another app, another bot, another system to manage the system that"}, {"start": 29.96, "end": 31.64, "text": "manages the system."}, {"start": 31.64, "end": 36.8, "text": "At some point bombed, app looked at my schedule and said, your premise is strong but your act"}, {"start": 36.8, "end": 38.64, "text": "out needs medication."}, {"start": 38.64, "end": 39.8, "text": "And it is right."}, {"start": 39.8, "end": 44.28, "text": "I am the only man I know who can automate a task and somehow create three more tasks as"}, {"start": 44.28, "end": 45.28, "text": "witnesses."}, {"start": 45.28, "end": 48.0, "text": "AI was supposed to save me time."}, {"start": 48.0, "end": 50.64, "text": "My AI now has a shift supervisor."}, {"start": 50.64, "end": 55.96, "text": "The DGX Spark is sitting there like a supercomputer with a lunch pale and I am the guy sweeping"}, {"start": 55.96, "end": 56.96, "text": "around it."}, {"start": 56.96, "end": 58.08, "text": "That is the comedy."}, {"start": 58.08, "end": 62.96, "text": "I bought a machine that can run models generate content build systems train agents and help"}, {"start": 62.96, "end": 67.8, "text": "businesses and I am still asking it, can you please make me eight comedy audios while"}, {"start": 67.8, "end": 69.48, "text": "I clean a toilet."}, {"start": 69.48, "end": 71.84, "text": "That is not artificial intelligence."}, {"start": 71.84, "end": 76.6, "text": "That is a very expensive unpaid intern with a graphics card bombed."}, {"start": 76.6, "end": 78.84, "text": "App keeps teaching me the same lesson."}, {"start": 78.84, "end": 83.28, "text": "The joke is not the app joke is me thinking one more tool will make me calm."}, {"start": 83.28, "end": 85.2, "text": "I do not need another dashboard."}, {"start": 85.2, "end": 88.76, "text": "I need a dashboard that slaps my hand when I open a new tab."}, {"start": 88.76, "end": 90.88, "text": "The app should score my day."}, {"start": 90.88, "end": 92.88, "text": "Set up economy two out of 20."}, {"start": 92.88, "end": 96.6, "text": "Jesse used four hours to prepare for a five minute decision."}, {"start": 96.6, "end": 103.28, "text": "Premise strength strong 50 year old entrepreneur builds AI empire while carrying cleaning supplies."}, {"start": 103.28, "end": 105.32, "text": "Punch line turn excellent."}, {"start": 105.32, "end": 110.36, "text": "The empire is still waiting on a customer to move it's act out powerful man whispers to"}, {"start": 110.36, "end": 113.32, "text": "a laptop then argues with a mop bucket."}, {"start": 113.32, "end": 118.48, "text": "The right potential massive please delete six projects and call one warm lead."}, {"start": 118.48, "end": 120.92, "text": "That is brutal but fair bombed."}, {"start": 120.92, "end": 125.32, "text": "App is supposed to roast jokes but the best roast is the one aimed at me because I am"}, {"start": 125.32, "end": 127.16, "text": "a walking beta test."}, {"start": 127.16, "end": 132.14, "text": "I have the ambition of a founder the schedule of a janitor the nervous system of a red"}, {"start": 132.14, "end": 137.2, "text": "personality and the browser tabs of a man being investigated for colors are all in"}, {"start": 137.2, "end": 140.12, "text": "their two green wants a clean process."}, {"start": 140.12, "end": 142.6, "text": "Yellow wants everybody to like the process."}, {"start": 142.6, "end": 144.64, "text": "Who keeps adapting the process."}, {"start": 144.64, "end": 148.6, "text": "Red says ship the process before it becomes a religion and bombed."}, {"start": 148.6, "end": 153.36, "text": "App just sits there scoring the damage the lesson is simple AI can help you build faster"}, {"start": 153.36, "end": 155.28, "text": "but it cannot choose courage for you."}, {"start": 155.28, "end": 157.92, "text": "It can write the post it can draft the offer."}, {"start": 157.92, "end": 163.5, "text": "It can make the audio it can roast the week joke but Jesse still has to ship sell call close"}, {"start": 163.5, "end": 166.84, "text": "and stop pretending another folder is progress."}, {"start": 166.84, "end": 168.48, "text": "So yes bombed."}, {"start": 168.48, "end": 174.16, "text": "That made my calendar testify and the verdict was clear funny premise too many tabs needs"}, {"start": 174.16, "end": 180.12, "text": "a stronger closer try bombed app or just let it diagnose your schedule before your schedule"}, {"start": 180.12, "end": 181.4, "text": "starts charging rent."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nbombed, app made my calendar testify I built bombed, app to help comedians find out why they're jokes bombed, that sounds noble until the app starts looking at my life. Because my calendar is the worst open mic I have ever seen. Every day has a setup no punchline in 12 tags I did not ask for, cleaning job, AI render, website fix, audio batch, dream builds idea, four colors content, book material, social media post, another app, another bot, another system to manage the system that manages the system. At some point bombed, app looked at my schedule and said, your premise is strong but your act out needs medication. And it is right. I am the only man I know who can automate a task and somehow create three more tasks as witnesses. AI was supposed to save me time. My AI now has a shift supervisor. The DGX Spark is sitting there like a supercomputer with a lunch pale and I am the guy sweeping around it. That is the comedy. I bought a machine that can run models generate content build systems train agents and help businesses and I am still asking it, can you please make me eight comedy audios while I clean a toilet. That is not artificial intelligence. That is a very expensive unpaid intern with a graphics card bombed. App keeps teaching me the same lesson. The joke is not the app joke is me thinking one more tool will make me calm. I do not need another dashboard. I need a dashboard that slaps my hand when I open a new tab. The app should score my day. Set up economy two out of 20. Jesse used four hours to prepare for a five minute decision. Premise strength strong 50 year old entrepreneur builds AI empire while carrying cleaning supplies. Punch line turn excellent. The empire is still waiting on a customer to move it's act out powerful man whispers to a laptop then argues with a mop bucket. The right potential massive please delete six projects and call one warm lead. That is brutal but fair bombed. App is supposed to roast jokes but the best roast is the one aimed at me because I am a walking beta test. I have the ambition of a founder the schedule of a janitor the nervous system of a red personality and the browser tabs of a man being investigated for colors are all in their two green wants a clean process. Yellow wants everybody to like the process. Who keeps adapting the process. Red says ship the process before it becomes a religion and bombed. App just sits there scoring the damage the lesson is simple AI can help you build faster but it cannot choose courage for you. It can write the post it can draft the offer. It can make the audio it can roast the week joke but Jesse still has to ship sell call close and stop pretending another folder is progress. So yes bombed. That made my calendar testify and the verdict was clear funny premise too many tabs needs a stronger closer try bombed app or just let it diagnose your schedule before your schedule starts charging rent.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}