{"file": "audio/story-vault/A333_the-customer-wants-miracle-pricing.mp3", "duration_sec": 175.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.84, "text": "The customer wants miracle pricing,"}, {"start": 1.84, "end": 4.24, "text": "running a cleaning business teaches you economics"}, {"start": 4.24, "end": 6.44, "text": "in the most personal way possible."}, {"start": 6.44, "end": 7.82, "text": "Everybody wants a miracle,"}, {"start": 7.82, "end": 10.44, "text": "but a lot of people want it priced like a favor."}, {"start": 10.44, "end": 12.22, "text": "A customer will call and say,"}, {"start": 12.22, "end": 15.92, "text": "it is just a small job that phrase is never true."}, {"start": 15.92, "end": 18.4, "text": "Just a small job means there is a second house"}, {"start": 18.4, "end": 19.76, "text": "inside the first house"}, {"start": 19.76, "end": 22.88, "text": "and the second house has been emotionally neglected."}, {"start": 22.88, "end": 25.24, "text": "They say, how much for a deep clean?"}, {"start": 25.24, "end": 26.92, "text": "I ask the normal questions."}, {"start": 26.92, "end": 29.4, "text": "Square footage, bathrooms, condition pets,"}, {"start": 29.4, "end": 31.68, "text": "last time it was professionally cleaned,"}, {"start": 31.68, "end": 33.4, "text": "then they answer in poetry."}, {"start": 33.4, "end": 34.76, "text": "Well, it is not too bad."}, {"start": 34.76, "end": 36.04, "text": "We are pretty clean people."}, {"start": 36.04, "end": 37.48, "text": "We just need a reset."}, {"start": 37.48, "end": 39.92, "text": "Reset is customer language for bring equipment"}, {"start": 39.92, "end": 41.76, "text": "and lower your expectations."}, {"start": 41.76, "end": 44.0, "text": "Then I give the price and the room goes quiet"}, {"start": 44.0, "end": 45.12, "text": "through the phone."}, {"start": 45.12, "end": 47.84, "text": "You can hear their soul comparing me to a YouTube hack"}, {"start": 47.84, "end": 50.12, "text": "involving vinegar and confidence."}, {"start": 50.12, "end": 53.08, "text": "They say, wow, that is more than I expected."}, {"start": 53.08, "end": 54.12, "text": "Of course it is."}, {"start": 54.12, "end": 56.08, "text": "Everybody expects cleaning to be cheaper"}, {"start": 56.08, "end": 58.48, "text": "because dirt does not send invoices."}, {"start": 58.48, "end": 59.84, "text": "Dirt works for free."}, {"start": 59.84, "end": 60.88, "text": "I do not."}, {"start": 60.88, "end": 63.28, "text": "And I roast myself too because as a business owner,"}, {"start": 63.28, "end": 66.24, "text": "I have spent years feeling guilty for having prices."}, {"start": 66.24, "end": 67.6, "text": "That is a disease."}, {"start": 67.6, "end": 70.44, "text": "You start a business by supplies, pay for leads,"}, {"start": 70.44, "end": 73.76, "text": "drive your own car, use your own body, carry insurance,"}, {"start": 73.76, "end": 74.88, "text": "answer texts at night,"}, {"start": 74.88, "end": 77.72, "text": "and still feel bad saying the number out loud."}, {"start": 77.72, "end": 79.6, "text": "That is not customer service."}, {"start": 79.6, "end": 81.24, "text": "That is emotional couponing."}, {"start": 81.24, "end": 83.4, "text": "Red wants to protect everybody."}, {"start": 83.4, "end": 85.76, "text": "Red wants the customer happy, the helper paid,"}, {"start": 85.76, "end": 88.6, "text": "the job done right, the review good, the schedule full"}, {"start": 88.6, "end": 91.8, "text": "and the bank account not looking like it got mopped by accident."}, {"start": 91.8, "end": 94.76, "text": "But math does not care about my hero complex."}, {"start": 94.76, "end": 96.8, "text": "A deep clean is not magic."}, {"start": 96.8, "end": 97.88, "text": "It is labor."}, {"start": 97.88, "end": 101.04, "text": "It is knees, shoulders, time, chemicals, towels,"}, {"start": 101.04, "end": 103.16, "text": "vacuums, gas, experience,"}, {"start": 103.16, "end": 105.04, "text": "and the ability to look at a shower door"}, {"start": 105.04, "end": 106.36, "text": "and not take it personally."}, {"start": 106.36, "end": 108.76, "text": "Customer is not wrong for wanting a deal."}, {"start": 108.76, "end": 110.92, "text": "I am not wrong for wanting a business."}, {"start": 110.92, "end": 113.44, "text": "That is the lesson I keep drilling into myself."}, {"start": 113.44, "end": 115.2, "text": "Cheap is not a brand strategy."}, {"start": 115.2, "end": 116.16, "text": "Clear is."}, {"start": 116.16, "end": 118.96, "text": "If the job is eight hours, say eight hours,"}, {"start": 118.96, "end": 121.52, "text": "if the minimum is 200, say 200,"}, {"start": 121.52, "end": 123.64, "text": "if the deep clean is seven or 800,"}, {"start": 123.64, "end": 126.88, "text": "say it without apologizing like you just broke a vase"}, {"start": 126.88, "end": 129.92, "text": "because the right customer is not buying a miracle."}, {"start": 129.92, "end": 131.52, "text": "They are buying relief."}, {"start": 131.52, "end": 133.28, "text": "They are buying their Saturday back."}, {"start": 133.28, "end": 135.08, "text": "They are buying the moment they walk in"}, {"start": 135.08, "end": 136.88, "text": "and the house does not accuse them."}, {"start": 136.88, "end": 140.04, "text": "And if they only want miracle pricing that is fine,"}, {"start": 140.04, "end": 142.24, "text": "I bless them respectfully and let them enjoy"}, {"start": 142.24, "end": 143.76, "text": "the vinegar Olympics."}, {"start": 143.76, "end": 146.32, "text": "My business is not a charity with a mob."}, {"start": 146.32, "end": 147.64, "text": "It is a service."}, {"start": 147.64, "end": 149.0, "text": "Red had to learn that."}, {"start": 149.0, "end": 150.2, "text": "Protect the customer."}, {"start": 150.2, "end": 152.84, "text": "Protect the standard and protect the price."}, {"start": 152.84, "end": 154.56, "text": "Because if I do not charge right,"}, {"start": 154.56, "end": 157.52, "text": "the only thing getting cleaned is my bank account."}, {"start": 157.52, "end": 158.36, "text": "You're welcome."}, {"start": 158.36, "end": 161.36, "text": "So now I practice saying the number like an adult."}, {"start": 161.36, "end": 164.84, "text": "Not angry, not guilty, just clear."}, {"start": 164.84, "end": 168.0, "text": "The customer can say yes, no, or not today."}, {"start": 168.0, "end": 169.24, "text": "That is business."}, {"start": 169.24, "end": 172.2, "text": "My job is not to make the price painless."}, {"start": 172.2, "end": 175.68, "text": "My job is to make the value obvious and the work excellent."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nThe customer wants miracle pricing, running a cleaning business teaches you economics in the most personal way possible. Everybody wants a miracle, but a lot of people want it priced like a favor. A customer will call and say, it is just a small job that phrase is never true. Just a small job means there is a second house inside the first house and the second house has been emotionally neglected. They say, how much for a deep clean? I ask the normal questions. Square footage, bathrooms, condition pets, last time it was professionally cleaned, then they answer in poetry. Well, it is not too bad. We are pretty clean people. We just need a reset. Reset is customer language for bring equipment and lower your expectations. Then I give the price and the room goes quiet through the phone. You can hear their soul comparing me to a YouTube hack involving vinegar and confidence. They say, wow, that is more than I expected. Of course it is. Everybody expects cleaning to be cheaper because dirt does not send invoices. Dirt works for free. I do not. And I roast myself too because as a business owner, I have spent years feeling guilty for having prices. That is a disease. You start a business by supplies, pay for leads, drive your own car, use your own body, carry insurance, answer texts at night, and still feel bad saying the number out loud. That is not customer service. That is emotional couponing. Red wants to protect everybody. Red wants the customer happy, the helper paid, the job done right, the review good, the schedule full and the bank account not looking like it got mopped by accident. But math does not care about my hero complex. A deep clean is not magic. It is labor. It is knees, shoulders, time, chemicals, towels, vacuums, gas, experience, and the ability to look at a shower door and not take it personally. Customer is not wrong for wanting a deal. I am not wrong for wanting a business. That is the lesson I keep drilling into myself. Cheap is not a brand strategy. Clear is. If the job is eight hours, say eight hours, if the minimum is 200, say 200, if the deep clean is seven or 800, say it without apologizing like you just broke a vase because the right customer is not buying a miracle. They are buying relief. They are buying their Saturday back. They are buying the moment they walk in and the house does not accuse them. And if they only want miracle pricing that is fine, I bless them respectfully and let them enjoy the vinegar Olympics. My business is not a charity with a mob. It is a service. Red had to learn that. Protect the customer. Protect the standard and protect the price. Because if I do not charge right, the only thing getting cleaned is my bank account. You're welcome. So now I practice saying the number like an adult. Not angry, not guilty, just clear. The customer can say yes, no, or not today. That is business. My job is not to make the price painless. My job is to make the value obvious and the work excellent.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}