{"file": "audio/story-vault/A300_1325-a300-red-personality-needs-a-decibel-budget.mp3", "duration_sec": 149.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 4.7, "text": "Red personality needs a decibel budget being red means your heart is good, but your delivery"}, {"start": 4.7, "end": 7.14, "text": "sounds like an evacuation notice."}, {"start": 7.14, "end": 9.0, "text": "That is my whole personality."}, {"start": 9.0, "end": 13.44, "text": "I will help you protect you, fix the problem, carry the couch, build the website, clean"}, {"start": 13.44, "end": 17.8, "text": "the house, write the book, make the video and somehow make you feel like you are in trouble"}, {"start": 17.8, "end": 19.28, "text": "for being alive."}, {"start": 19.28, "end": 20.64, "text": "I do not mean to."}, {"start": 20.64, "end": 23.04, "text": "I just came with factory volume."}, {"start": 23.04, "end": 25.0, "text": "Some people have an inside voice."}, {"start": 25.0, "end": 27.96, "text": "I have a job site voice with feelings attached."}, {"start": 27.96, "end": 32.56, "text": "I have been studying human behavior for 30 years and I still have to remind myself that"}, {"start": 32.56, "end": 36.08, "text": "not every sentence needs to arrive wearing work boots."}, {"start": 36.08, "end": 39.68, "text": "The four color system is supposed to help me understand people."}, {"start": 39.68, "end": 40.68, "text": "Red is the protector."}, {"start": 40.68, "end": 42.2, "text": "Green is the thinker."}, {"start": 42.2, "end": 43.48, "text": "Blue is the chameleon."}, {"start": 43.48, "end": 44.96, "text": "Yellow is the hugger."}, {"start": 44.96, "end": 48.96, "text": "That sounds beautiful until red tries to use it in real life."}, {"start": 48.96, "end": 51.16, "text": "Green says, let us gather the facts."}, {"start": 51.16, "end": 54.16, "text": "Red says, I already gathered them while you were blinking."}, {"start": 54.16, "end": 56.52, "text": "Blue says maybe we should read the room."}, {"start": 56.52, "end": 59.04, "text": "Red says I installed lights in the room."}, {"start": 59.04, "end": 60.04, "text": "It is fine."}, {"start": 60.04, "end": 62.6, "text": "Yellow says everybody needs love."}, {"start": 62.6, "end": 65.32, "text": "Red says agreed but can love move faster."}, {"start": 65.32, "end": 66.68, "text": "We have errands."}, {"start": 66.68, "end": 69.4, "text": "This is why red needs a decibel budget."}, {"start": 69.4, "end": 73.08, "text": "Every morning I should wake up with a limited number of loud points."}, {"start": 73.08, "end": 77.52, "text": "Once they are gone, I have to communicate through written statements and hand signals because"}, {"start": 77.52, "end": 81.36, "text": "red does not always know the difference between direct and dramatic."}, {"start": 81.36, "end": 84.92, "text": "I think I am saying we should probably leave by two."}, {"start": 84.92, "end": 85.92, "text": "Nobody else hears."}, {"start": 85.92, "end": 90.24, "text": "The ship is sinking and Jesse has appointed himself captain of the final judgment."}, {"start": 90.24, "end": 95.24, "text": "And now I am 50 which makes it worse because 50 year old red has receipts."}, {"start": 95.24, "end": 98.32, "text": "Young red is intense because he thinks he is right."}, {"start": 98.32, "end": 103.44, "text": "50 year old red is intense because he has proof, screenshots, scar tissue and a cleaning"}, {"start": 103.44, "end": 104.44, "text": "invoice."}, {"start": 104.44, "end": 106.2, "text": "That is a dangerous combination."}, {"start": 106.2, "end": 108.08, "text": "I do not need anger management."}, {"start": 108.08, "end": 110.32, "text": "I need subtitle management."}, {"start": 110.32, "end": 114.08, "text": "Underneath every red sentence should be a caption that says he loves you."}, {"start": 114.08, "end": 119.24, "text": "He is just emotionally formatted like a warning label because that is the truth."}, {"start": 119.24, "end": 121.68, "text": "Most reds are not trying to hurt anybody."}, {"start": 121.68, "end": 126.6, "text": "We are trying to prevent the crash, stop the leak, fix the money, protect the family and"}, {"start": 126.6, "end": 129.48, "text": "get everyone in the car before the opportunity leaves."}, {"start": 129.48, "end": 133.48, "text": "We just forget that some people do not feel protected by urgency."}, {"start": 133.48, "end": 134.84, "text": "Some people feel hunted."}, {"start": 134.84, "end": 136.4, "text": "That is the lesson for me."}, {"start": 136.4, "end": 137.88, "text": "Red can still lead."}, {"start": 137.88, "end": 139.52, "text": "Red can still protect."}, {"start": 139.52, "end": 141.24, "text": "Red can still tell the truth."}, {"start": 141.24, "end": 144.96, "text": "But if the truth needs ear protection, maybe turn it down two clicks."}, {"start": 144.96, "end": 149.08, "text": "I am working on it slowly which is horrible for red."}, {"start": 149.08, "end": 149.68, "text": "You're welcome."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nRed personality needs a decibel budget being red means your heart is good, but your delivery sounds like an evacuation notice. That is my whole personality. I will help you protect you, fix the problem, carry the couch, build the website, clean the house, write the book, make the video and somehow make you feel like you are in trouble for being alive. I do not mean to. I just came with factory volume. Some people have an inside voice. I have a job site voice with feelings attached. I have been studying human behavior for 30 years and I still have to remind myself that not every sentence needs to arrive wearing work boots. The four color system is supposed to help me understand people. Red is the protector. Green is the thinker. Blue is the chameleon. Yellow is the hugger. That sounds beautiful until red tries to use it in real life. Green says, let us gather the facts. Red says, I already gathered them while you were blinking. Blue says maybe we should read the room. Red says I installed lights in the room. It is fine. Yellow says everybody needs love. Red says agreed but can love move faster. We have errands. This is why red needs a decibel budget. Every morning I should wake up with a limited number of loud points. Once they are gone, I have to communicate through written statements and hand signals because red does not always know the difference between direct and dramatic. I think I am saying we should probably leave by two. Nobody else hears. The ship is sinking and Jesse has appointed himself captain of the final judgment. And now I am 50 which makes it worse because 50 year old red has receipts. Young red is intense because he thinks he is right. 50 year old red is intense because he has proof, screenshots, scar tissue and a cleaning invoice. That is a dangerous combination. I do not need anger management. I need subtitle management. Underneath every red sentence should be a caption that says he loves you. He is just emotionally formatted like a warning label because that is the truth. Most reds are not trying to hurt anybody. We are trying to prevent the crash, stop the leak, fix the money, protect the family and get everyone in the car before the opportunity leaves. We just forget that some people do not feel protected by urgency. Some people feel hunted. That is the lesson for me. Red can still lead. Red can still protect. Red can still tell the truth. But if the truth needs ear protection, maybe turn it down two clicks. I am working on it slowly which is horrible for red. You're welcome.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}