{"file": "audio/story-vault/A257_0624-a257-bombed-app-found-my-to-do-list.mp3", "duration_sec": 156.6, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 5.28, "text": "bombed app found might to do list. I built bombed app to help comedians fix bad jokes."}, {"start": 5.28, "end": 9.52, "text": "Then it found might to do list that was a mistake. My to do list is not a list."}, {"start": 9.52, "end": 14.16, "text": "It is a hostage situation with bullet points cleaning business for colors content."}, {"start": 14.16, "end": 20.32, "text": "Dream builds offer colors of my pain bombed app YouTube Instagram Facebook X linked in follow"}, {"start": 20.32, "end": 27.36, "text": "ups payments deployments audio factory AI prom car thoughts also apparently drink water like a"}, {"start": 27.36, "end": 32.88, "text": "civilian bombed app looked at that and said premise strong structure criminal that is when"}, {"start": 32.88, "end": 38.24, "text": "you know your own app is turned on you it is supposed to say your punchline needs a sharper turn"}, {"start": 38.24, "end": 42.64, "text": "instead it is saying Jesse your whole Tuesday needs an editor and it is right."}, {"start": 42.64, "end": 48.72, "text": "A bad joke has too many words before the laugh a bad day has too many tasks before the money"}, {"start": 48.72, "end": 54.88, "text": "same disease I will spend three hours building an automation to avoid a five minute close that is not"}, {"start": 54.88, "end": 60.88, "text": "AI mastery that is fear wearing a keyboard red loves that because red gets to feel productive"}, {"start": 60.88, "end": 66.64, "text": "look at me I am moving I am building I am producing green says technically yes blue says but"}, {"start": 66.64, "end": 72.72, "text": "are we avoiding a conversation yellow says does anybody feel better the bank says adorable that is"}, {"start": 72.72, "end": 78.4, "text": "the brutal part about business the scoreboard does not care how complicated your system is money"}, {"start": 78.4, "end": 84.72, "text": "moved or it did not relationship deepened or it did not content shipped or it did not everything"}, {"start": 84.72, "end": 90.72, "text": "else is a fog machine with Wi-Fi bombed app teaches comedians that the audience only laughs when"}, {"start": 90.72, "end": 97.36, "text": "the turn is clear life is the same if I cannot tell what change today the day bombed not because I am"}, {"start": 97.36, "end": 104.8, "text": "lazy I am not lazy I am dangerous with folders that is my real problem some men procrastinate by"}, {"start": 104.8, "end": 110.64, "text": "watching television I procrastinate by creating a command center to track the command centers then"}, {"start": 110.64, "end": 115.84, "text": "Henry has to come in like Jesse what makes money today I hate that question because it removes all"}, {"start": 115.84, "end": 122.24, "text": "my decorations it takes my beautiful chaos and turns it into a mop bucket pick it up use it finish"}, {"start": 122.24, "end": 128.24, "text": "the room that is why bombed app is useful it roasts the joke but it also roasts the operator setup"}, {"start": 128.24, "end": 135.6, "text": "turn punch lesson business offer close payment memoir pain meaning reader cleaning room result"}, {"start": 135.6, "end": 141.68, "text": "invoice the pattern keeps repeating because truth is rude like that so if bombed app ever scores"}, {"start": 141.68, "end": 148.64, "text": "might do list I already know the note great energy strong work ethic too many open premises needs"}, {"start": 148.64, "end": 155.6, "text": "one hard close and that is the whole Jesse life audit cut the fat hit the punch line send the offer"}, {"start": 155.6, "end": 157.6, "text": "you are welcome"}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nbombed app found might to do list. I built bombed app to help comedians fix bad jokes. Then it found might to do list that was a mistake. My to do list is not a list. It is a hostage situation with bullet points cleaning business for colors content. Dream builds offer colors of my pain bombed app YouTube Instagram Facebook X linked in follow ups payments deployments audio factory AI prom car thoughts also apparently drink water like a civilian bombed app looked at that and said premise strong structure criminal that is when you know your own app is turned on you it is supposed to say your punchline needs a sharper turn instead it is saying Jesse your whole Tuesday needs an editor and it is right. A bad joke has too many words before the laugh a bad day has too many tasks before the money same disease I will spend three hours building an automation to avoid a five minute close that is not AI mastery that is fear wearing a keyboard red loves that because red gets to feel productive look at me I am moving I am building I am producing green says technically yes blue says but are we avoiding a conversation yellow says does anybody feel better the bank says adorable that is the brutal part about business the scoreboard does not care how complicated your system is money moved or it did not relationship deepened or it did not content shipped or it did not everything else is a fog machine with Wi-Fi bombed app teaches comedians that the audience only laughs when the turn is clear life is the same if I cannot tell what change today the day bombed not because I am lazy I am not lazy I am dangerous with folders that is my real problem some men procrastinate by watching television I procrastinate by creating a command center to track the command centers then Henry has to come in like Jesse what makes money today I hate that question because it removes all my decorations it takes my beautiful chaos and turns it into a mop bucket pick it up use it finish the room that is why bombed app is useful it roasts the joke but it also roasts the operator setup turn punch lesson business offer close payment memoir pain meaning reader cleaning room result invoice the pattern keeps repeating because truth is rude like that so if bombed app ever scores might do list I already know the note great energy strong work ethic too many open premises needs one hard close and that is the whole Jesse life audit cut the fat hit the punch line send the offer you are welcome\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}