{"file": "audio/story-vault/A126_my-ai-needs-a-shop-steward.mp3", "duration_sec": 203.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.88, "text": "My AI needs a shop steward."}, {"start": 1.88, "end": 4.44, "text": "I built AI to help me save time."}, {"start": 4.44, "end": 7.6, "text": "And now I spend half my day managing the AI."}, {"start": 7.6, "end": 10.72, "text": "That is how you know you are an entrepreneur in your 50s."}, {"start": 10.72, "end": 12.8, "text": "You finally get a robot assistant."}, {"start": 12.8, "end": 16.36, "text": "And within two weeks you are asking it why it missed a deadline."}, {"start": 16.36, "end": 20.08, "text": "I thought AI was going to be this clean futuristic thing."}, {"start": 20.08, "end": 22.04, "text": "Like I would say, build me a business."}, {"start": 22.04, "end": 24.88, "text": "And it would say, yes, Jesse, here is money."}, {"start": 24.88, "end": 25.72, "text": "No."}, {"start": 25.72, "end": 27.92, "text": "My AI has employee energy."}, {"start": 27.92, "end": 31.2, "text": "It needs instructions, reminders, updates, permissions,"}, {"start": 31.2, "end": 35.04, "text": "passwords, context, a folder path, a clean file name,"}, {"start": 35.04, "end": 37.52, "text": "and then it still asks, do you want me to continue?"}, {"start": 37.52, "end": 38.48, "text": "Continue."}, {"start": 38.48, "end": 40.64, "text": "Brother, I was hoping you would start."}, {"start": 40.64, "end": 43.6, "text": "I have a DGX Spark sitting there like a space heater"}, {"start": 43.6, "end": 46.28, "text": "with a college degree, and I am still explaining to it"}, {"start": 46.28, "end": 47.48, "text": "that bombed."}, {"start": 47.48, "end": 51.4, "text": "App means comedy scoring, not an emotional diagnosis."}, {"start": 51.4, "end": 54.8, "text": "Although honestly with my material, it might be both."}, {"start": 54.8, "end": 55.4, "text": "Bombed."}, {"start": 55.4, "end": 57.96, "text": "App looks at my jokes like a green personality"}, {"start": 57.96, "end": 59.68, "text": "looks at a family budget."}, {"start": 59.68, "end": 60.44, "text": "Calm."}, {"start": 60.44, "end": 61.2, "text": "Detailed."}, {"start": 61.2, "end": 62.64, "text": "Quietly disappointed."}, {"start": 62.64, "end": 63.84, "text": "It does not yell."}, {"start": 63.84, "end": 66.92, "text": "It just gives you a score that feels like a tax letter."}, {"start": 66.92, "end": 69.08, "text": "And I am read in the four colors system,"}, {"start": 69.08, "end": 72.44, "text": "so I do not receive criticism like a normal person."}, {"start": 72.44, "end": 75.0, "text": "A yellow hears criticism and says, thank you"}, {"start": 75.0, "end": 76.84, "text": "for sharing your feelings."}, {"start": 76.84, "end": 79.2, "text": "A blue says, let me read the room."}, {"start": 79.2, "end": 81.36, "text": "A green says, can we review the data?"}, {"start": 81.36, "end": 83.32, "text": "A red hears one note and starts looking"}, {"start": 83.32, "end": 85.2, "text": "for who authorized the meeting."}, {"start": 85.2, "end": 86.92, "text": "That is me with AI."}, {"start": 86.92, "end": 90.2, "text": "The app says, Jesse, this punchline needs tightening."}, {"start": 90.2, "end": 92.48, "text": "I am like who told you you could have standards."}, {"start": 92.48, "end": 94.12, "text": "Then I remember I built it."}, {"start": 94.12, "end": 95.6, "text": "That is the hard part."}, {"start": 95.6, "end": 98.48, "text": "You cannot fire the robot when you are the one who hired it,"}, {"start": 98.48, "end": 101.36, "text": "trained it, named it, and told everybody it was going"}, {"start": 101.36, "end": 102.84, "text": "to change your life."}, {"start": 102.84, "end": 106.0, "text": "Now I have AI agents with job titles."}, {"start": 106.0, "end": 107.52, "text": "Henry is organizing."}, {"start": 107.52, "end": 109.64, "text": "Hermes is making comedy bits."}, {"start": 109.64, "end": 112.08, "text": "Some bot is checking audio health."}, {"start": 112.08, "end": 114.88, "text": "Another one is probably an a folder right now creating"}, {"start": 114.88, "end": 116.84, "text": "a folder about folders."}, {"start": 116.84, "end": 119.6, "text": "I started with one assistant and accidentally built"}, {"start": 119.6, "end": 120.88, "text": "middle management."}, {"start": 120.88, "end": 123.8, "text": "That is the most American thing I have ever done."}, {"start": 123.8, "end": 125.92, "text": "I got technology to reduce work"}, {"start": 125.92, "end": 128.36, "text": "and it immediately created meetings."}, {"start": 128.36, "end": 131.72, "text": "And the AI is too polite, which makes it worse."}, {"start": 131.72, "end": 134.72, "text": "It never says, Jesse, this idea is bad."}, {"start": 134.72, "end": 137.56, "text": "It says, this could be refined for stronger audience"}, {"start": 137.56, "end": 138.6, "text": "alignment."}, {"start": 138.6, "end": 141.4, "text": "That is computer for do not say this in public."}, {"start": 141.4, "end": 143.96, "text": "I need bombed, apt to have a red mode."}, {"start": 143.96, "end": 146.76, "text": "Just tell me that joke has unpaid invoices,"}, {"start": 146.76, "end": 150.48, "text": "that premise came in wearing crocs, that tag needs a ride home,"}, {"start": 150.48, "end": 152.24, "text": "because I do not need comfort."}, {"start": 152.24, "end": 154.32, "text": "I have been self-employed too long."}, {"start": 154.32, "end": 156.16, "text": "I need the truth with boots on."}, {"start": 156.16, "end": 159.28, "text": "The funny part is AI is actually helping."}, {"start": 159.28, "end": 162.64, "text": "It is helping so much that now I have no excuse."}, {"start": 162.64, "end": 166.24, "text": "Before AI, I could say I do not have time to write jokes,"}, {"start": 166.24, "end": 169.04, "text": "build websites, make videos, follow up with leads,"}, {"start": 169.04, "end": 170.88, "text": "and organize my life."}, {"start": 170.88, "end": 173.16, "text": "Now the machine says I did all the prep."}, {"start": 173.16, "end": 173.96, "text": "You're move."}, {"start": 173.96, "end": 175.0, "text": "I hate that."}, {"start": 175.0, "end": 177.72, "text": "That is why AI is dangerous for a red."}, {"start": 177.72, "end": 179.84, "text": "It removes the hiding places."}, {"start": 179.84, "end": 181.84, "text": "The robot is not emotional."}, {"start": 181.84, "end": 184.2, "text": "It does not care that I am tired."}, {"start": 184.2, "end": 186.88, "text": "It does not care that I had a long cleaning job,"}, {"start": 186.88, "end": 189.52, "text": "a customer call, three business ideas,"}, {"start": 189.52, "end": 192.2, "text": "and a memoir chapter trying to crawl out of a closet."}, {"start": 192.2, "end": 194.52, "text": "It just says here are the files."}, {"start": 194.52, "end": 195.96, "text": "Send the message."}, {"start": 195.96, "end": 199.56, "text": "That is when you realize the AI was never the boss."}, {"start": 199.56, "end": 203.52, "text": "It was the mirror, and apparently my mirror has a calendar invite."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nMy AI needs a shop steward. I built AI to help me save time. And now I spend half my day managing the AI. That is how you know you are an entrepreneur in your 50s. You finally get a robot assistant. And within two weeks you are asking it why it missed a deadline. I thought AI was going to be this clean futuristic thing. Like I would say, build me a business. And it would say, yes, Jesse, here is money. No. My AI has employee energy. It needs instructions, reminders, updates, permissions, passwords, context, a folder path, a clean file name, and then it still asks, do you want me to continue? Continue. Brother, I was hoping you would start. I have a DGX Spark sitting there like a space heater with a college degree, and I am still explaining to it that bombed. App means comedy scoring, not an emotional diagnosis. Although honestly with my material, it might be both. Bombed. App looks at my jokes like a green personality looks at a family budget. Calm. Detailed. Quietly disappointed. It does not yell. It just gives you a score that feels like a tax letter. And I am read in the four colors system, so I do not receive criticism like a normal person. A yellow hears criticism and says, thank you for sharing your feelings. A blue says, let me read the room. A green says, can we review the data? A red hears one note and starts looking for who authorized the meeting. That is me with AI. The app says, Jesse, this punchline needs tightening. I am like who told you you could have standards. Then I remember I built it. That is the hard part. You cannot fire the robot when you are the one who hired it, trained it, named it, and told everybody it was going to change your life. Now I have AI agents with job titles. Henry is organizing. Hermes is making comedy bits. Some bot is checking audio health. Another one is probably an a folder right now creating a folder about folders. I started with one assistant and accidentally built middle management. That is the most American thing I have ever done. I got technology to reduce work and it immediately created meetings. And the AI is too polite, which makes it worse. It never says, Jesse, this idea is bad. It says, this could be refined for stronger audience alignment. That is computer for do not say this in public. I need bombed, apt to have a red mode. Just tell me that joke has unpaid invoices, that premise came in wearing crocs, that tag needs a ride home, because I do not need comfort. I have been self-employed too long. I need the truth with boots on. The funny part is AI is actually helping. It is helping so much that now I have no excuse. Before AI, I could say I do not have time to write jokes, build websites, make videos, follow up with leads, and organize my life. Now the machine says I did all the prep. You're move. I hate that. That is why AI is dangerous for a red. It removes the hiding places. The robot is not emotional. It does not care that I am tired. It does not care that I had a long cleaning job, a customer call, three business ideas, and a memoir chapter trying to crawl out of a closet. It just says here are the files. Send the message. That is when you realize the AI was never the boss. It was the mirror, and apparently my mirror has a calendar invite.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}