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2026-09-02-four-color-ads

[00000.00-00002.06] This is comedy, laughs and giggles.
[00002.06-00005.40] This next one is fake, bombed, dap, late night.
[00005.40-00008.94] I sell four colors like it's medicine for a man who can't keep a woman.
[00008.94-00010.56] If you laugh, I live.
[00010.56-00012.08] If you don't, I mop.
[00012.08-00013.08] Trailer guy.
[00013.08-00013.96] That's me.
[00013.96-00015.48] That's the brand.
[00015.48-00020.64] Tired of dating at 50 with a warning label, introducing yellow, creative, energetic.
[00020.64-00022.32] That's the girl who wants a night.
[00022.32-00024.48] That's the man who wants a speech.
[00024.48-00026.68] This next one is fake.
[00026.68-00028.40] I bought yellow.
[00028.40-00029.68] She wanted to dance.
[00029.68-00032.76] I wanted to explain my seven jobs.
[00032.76-00034.44] She left mid song.
[00034.44-00036.20] I paid the cover both ways.
[00036.20-00038.04] That's not energy.
[00038.04-00041.24] That's a man tipping a dance he wasn't invited to.
[00041.24-00045.68] Yellow from the makers of talking too much, order now and we'll throw in a hard on with
[00045.68-00046.68] nowhere to go.
[00046.68-00049.00] But wait, this next one is fake.
[00049.00-00050.96] Green steady thoughtful.
[00050.96-00052.52] That's the girl who wants a plan.
[00052.52-00055.68] That's Jesse promising calm with two jobs in a dead arm.
[00055.68-00058.60] He still clocks in like it's a personality.
[00058.60-00065.20] I bought green. I said I'm stable. My bank said that's cute. She asked about tomorrow.
[00065.20-00071.20] I said I have a second shift. She said that's my answer. I still paid for the salad.
[00071.20-00077.92] She took the croutons. Shit, mightest. He touches steady. It turns into overtime.
[00077.92-00082.88] Green will send you a calendar and a mob. If she stays past the salad, keep the receipt.
[00082.88-00084.92] You won't need it, but wait.
[00084.92-00086.54] This next one is fake.
[00086.54-00089.28] Blue, chameleon, adaptable.
[00089.28-00090.28] That's me.
[00090.28-00091.28] That's blue.
[00091.28-00093.04] I change for every girl.
[00093.04-00094.04] None of them stay.
[00094.04-00096.84] I am every color until the bill comes.
[00096.84-00098.40] Then I'm broke.
[00098.40-00099.56] I bought blue.
[00099.56-00102.24] I was whoever she wanted for 40 minutes.
[00102.24-00105.16] Then I was a guy with three dogs in a lawsuit.
[00105.16-00106.52] She said, pick one.
[00106.52-00108.32] I said, that's the bid.
[00108.32-00109.64] She said, that's my cue.
[00109.64-00111.56] I still hearted the thumbs down.
[00111.56-00112.76] That's not adaptable.
[00112.76-00114.76] a man with no spine and a movie voice.
[00114.76-00116.56] Blue, that's me.
[00116.56-00117.56] That's the problem.
[00117.56-00118.56] Limited time.
[00118.56-00119.56] We'll throw in a personality.
[00119.56-00121.12] It's on back order.
[00121.12-00123.12] But wait, last color.
[00123.12-00124.60] This next one is fake.
[00124.60-00125.60] Red.
[00125.60-00126.60] Protector.
[00126.60-00127.60] Captain Save a Ho in a Bottle.
[00127.60-00129.36] You see a tear, you file a claim.
[00129.36-00131.00] She wanted three blocks.
[00131.00-00132.72] You wanted a purpose with a zipper.
[00132.72-00133.72] You lose money.
[00133.72-00137.04] You take the wrong girl home every time.
[00137.04-00138.04] I bought red.
[00138.04-00140.40] I saved a woman from a parking lot.
[00140.40-00141.40] She wanted a ride.
[00141.40-00143.80] I wanted a speech.
[00143.80-00147.04] She got out at the light, left the wipe on the dash.
[00147.04-00148.48] I still texted you home.
[00148.48-00149.48] She sent a dislike.
[00149.48-00151.40] That's not a protector.
[00151.40-00155.44] That's a man volunteering for a job that doesn't pay in pussy.
[00155.44-00156.76] I bought the four-pack.
[00156.76-00158.96] Yellow, talk me out of a dance.
[00158.96-00160.64] Green-billed me a salad.
[00160.64-00162.36] Blue ghosted itself.
[00162.36-00163.92] Red-mop-deparking lot.
[00163.92-00166.44] Jesse still says that's my type.
[00166.44-00168.76] His type is a receipt.
[00168.76-00172.98] For colors, for color quiz.com, fake products, real MOP.
[00172.98-00173.98] I don't defend.
[00173.98-00177.98] I sell last lines mine, but wait, we have a show.
[00177.98-00179.40] This next one is fake.
[00179.40-00181.78] Bombed app presents Rise of the Comic.
[00181.78-00185.02] A sitcom about a man who tries to win and turns it to shit.
[00185.02-00186.64] I'm Jesse, trailer guy.
[00186.64-00189.26] I host, I lose, I mop.
[00189.26-00195.10] This week on Rise of the Comic, Jesse takes a girl home, wrong color, wrong girl.
[00195.10-00196.10] The dog's vote.
[00196.10-00198.20] Unanimous, you dumb motherfucker.
[00198.20-00199.20] He feeds them anyway.
[00199.20-00201.20] That's the loft, right?
[00201.20-00202.20] That's the rent.
[00202.20-00205.60] Jesse plays a video game about becoming a comic.
[00205.60-00208.08] In the game, he wins.
[00208.08-00212.80] In the house, he owes the dog's dinner and the computer a raise.
[00212.80-00214.40] Shit, Midas.
[00214.40-00215.76] He touches a level.
[00215.76-00217.36] It turns into a chore.
[00217.36-00219.20] He still hits continue.
[00219.20-00220.68] The brand is simple.
[00220.68-00221.68] He tries.
[00221.68-00223.00] It turns to trouble.
[00223.00-00224.28] He loses money.
[00224.28-00226.72] He takes the wrong girl home.
[00226.72-00227.72] Four colors.
[00227.72-00233.88] un-curse. If you laugh, he lives forever. If you don't, he still has two jobs and a hard
[00233.88-00236.64] on with nowhere to clock in.
[00236.64-00241.92] That's Rise of the Comic. That's Bomb.App. That's Kill Jesse. I pick who lives. I sell
[00241.92-00246.60] the colors. I take the wrong one home. Last line's mine, motherfuckers. Say it.