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2026-09-01-dogs-50

[00000.00-00002.24] This is comedy, laughs and giggles.
[00002.24-00003.76] This next one is fake.
[00003.76-00004.72] I'm 50.
[00004.72-00006.88] Third job today, body's a lawsuit.
[00006.88-00008.64] I come home to three dogs.
[00008.64-00009.92] That's not a dating life.
[00009.92-00011.36] That's a kennel with a movie voice.
[00012.16-00015.76] Captain Sabahoe clocked out and the dog still won a tip.
[00015.76-00016.80] The dog stayed.
[00016.80-00017.84] That's more than she did.
[00017.84-00018.64] Sit down.
[00018.64-00022.88] He cleans houses all day, then asks a golden retriever if he's still got it.
[00023.52-00026.40] Bro, the dog watched you take your shoes off.
[00026.40-00027.28] That's the breakup.
[00027.92-00028.32] Fake.
[00028.32-00029.52] I don't ask the dog.
[00029.52-00031.52] The dog already filed the report.
[00031.52-00033.02] AI versus Jesse.
[00033.02-00035.02] The robot writes the jokes.
[00035.02-00038.52] Jesse pays 300 to hear himself lose shit, Midas.
[00038.52-00040.02] He touches a punchline.
[00040.02-00041.52] It turns into a receipt.
[00041.52-00044.52] Dating at 50 with the dead arm and three witnesses.
[00044.52-00046.02] That's not Tinder.
[00046.02-00048.02] That's a parole hearing with Kibble.
[00048.02-00049.02] I don't defend.
[00049.02-00050.02] I'm Mop.
[00050.02-00051.52] Last jokes mind, motherfuckers.
[00051.52-00053.02] The dogs can have the rest.